Learning how to date or be in a relationship

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Dating and just being in romantic relationships require a lot of social skills and social knowledge. It really can be quite complex. How did you all figure this stuff out?

I’m thinking we’re probably easy targets for manipulators because we might lack this almost intuitive knowledge that some people seem to have about other people.

I’m guessing a lot of people learn this sort of stuff in high school, but I was homeschooled.

[opinion=mine]

Some of it is learned by example, mostly from our parents. So if your parents are kind, good, and loving toward each other, you will likely behave the same toward others.

Some of it is learned by socialization, mostly from classmates and other peers. So if all of your friends are kind, good, and loving toward each other, you will likely behave the same toward others.

The rest is learned through trial-and-error. So if all of your "dates" are kind, good, and loving, you will likely find someone who is the perfect lifemate.

[/opinion]

Step 1 -- Get yourself into a situation in which you actually have any business dating. In particular, become independent.

I'm stuck there. My peers did date before. When I realized not just that they did, but also that it was a completely normal and accepted part of their lives, I asked my parents for permission and a few more things I needed (my previous lifestyle had no legitimately place for basically anything but studying and what they told me to do, so I'd have to start from scratch establishing the guidelines for and habits of going out and doing any other activity of interest), to no avail. Asking them now would be ridiculous and futile, even if they granted my request, so that window is closed for good.

Step 1 -- Get yourself into a situation in which you actually have any business dating. In particular, become independent.

Step 2 -- Look in the mirror. What you see is what you get. Keep your standards simple -- expect nothing more than what you have to offer. Few things are as frustrating and discouraging as setting your sights on a relationship with someone who is far more attractive than you could ever even hope to be.

NT's spent years figuring it out. They began in Junior High School. It doesn't happen overnight. Much of it is by trial and error. But in order to learn by trial and error, you must first try, fail and try again. It can produce many heartaches along the way. But then one day you may meet someone and it will just click.

I was just extra clueless about abusive behavior. It might be partly due to an ultra conservative/cult upbringing.

Most people are better at knowing when enough is enough.

Trial and error. Lots and lots of error.

And I used to ask my Internet friends for advice.

Twilight Princess, you are very pretty...
And have a catchy smile.....

I seek women who are straightforward, and usually fairly conservative in how they conduct themselves (though they can, of course, be liberal in politics).

I don't like women who like to argue for the sake of argument.

I don't like women who enjoy playing games with your head. I can tell these a mile away.

I don't mind it, at all, if a woman is a little "nerdy." I've had a crush on a few librarians in my time. Much better than somebody who likes to hit the clubs....

Twilight looks, to me, like a "natural" woman. An Ivory Girl, really.