Asperger's Syndrome - Am I missing out on life ?

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Am I missing out on life ?

I'm 28, I have Asperger's and I seem to feel like I'm missing out on life. Going on social media and seeing everyone else's photos of people my age or younger having a great time on holiday, going out somewhere exciting during the day, going out for a drink and having a laugh with friends and taking selfies etc leaves me to feel frustrated and left out and that those are the things I should be doing as if its a requirement and that my life is boring and that no one has the time for me. I used to post and upload photos on social media but I stopped it because it wasn't getting hardly any likes or comments whereas everyone else was getting lots of likes and comments, it frustrated me and I then resorted to posting negative statuses to get people to talk to me.
In my own time like reading books, writing, listening to music and I also like socialising its mainly though with family, work colleagues and customers at times. I also like going out and usually its on my own or with family. I don't like nightclubs and my weekends on friday and saturday nights have never been a night out for a drink, its always indoors doing the hobbies and interests I just mentioned. I have had few friends since leaving school, college and uni. A couple of friends I know are more severe than me and are not the 'going out' type of people. I also tend to enjoy socialising more with people who don't have Asperger's syndrome or autism because it makes me feel like I'm accepted and belong with everyone else and even though I went to schools for autistic people I feel I don't belong amongst other people with Aspergers or Autism because they maybe more severe than me and I'm the only mild one there.

Do you think you're missing out on life? Sounds like you enjoy your hobbies. Do you really want to do what all those other people are doing, or feel you should do what they are doing? Are they really happy?

No.
Sure you won't enjoy things others do, but there are amazing things you can enjoy that very few others ever will.
And no one will be exactly like anyone else, autistic (More severe or less) or not.

I feel the same. I'm mild, like you - even though the majority of WP don't believe that there's a "mild" or "severe" in autism...but, you know, there is.

I have an odd way of thinking. I have no interest in nightclubs and drinking, but, at the same time, I get bugged by the fact that I don't like these things and everyone else my age seems to. If I tell anyone about it, the convo just goes round in circles:-
Me: All my peers are either into clubbing or have been clubbing at some point in their lives, and I never have
Other person: Then go clubbing if you want to so much
Me: But I hate it
Other person: Then why are you complaining?

It's not that I 100% choose to not go clubbing. It's just that I don't like drinking, I don't like dancing, I don't like the dark, and I have social anxiety plus general anxiety disorder. All these things make things like clubbing seem like a living nightmare. But I still have this thing about being left out. I just wish my brain was wired differently, where I am not afraid of getting drunk, and love dancing, and not get bothered by being out late. But I'm more of a daytime person, so if I'm going to go out and socialise, I like to do it in the day. The night just has this unsettling atmosphere. It's like all the children and the elderly are in their homes, while all the youngsters and the drunks are running amok. I know children cause me anxiety because of their noise and unpredictability, but I do feel safer at the times of the day where families are out, and also elderly people. It's just a completely different environment.

Sorry, I kind of drifted away there. But it does explain my avoidance of nightlife. Like you, I much enjoy being in my home, doing creative hobbies or watching DVDs or being with family, where I can be myself. And going to bed early with a good movie to watch is what I love to do at night. Oh, and you can't beat sleeping!

It's just a shame that society seems to somehow make us young people feel guilty if we're not being out partying. I feel like when I tell people I don't drink, they think there's something wrong with me. And people seem to think I'm dull and boring just because I don't go out partying.

I know a lot of NTs don't really like clubbing and that they only do it to fit in, but they're still lucky to have the motivation to go out without shying away.

Yes, you miss out on some good but also bad things in life. The problem is when other people try to make you feel like their way is the "right" or "only" way to enjoy life.

If you are constantly comparing to others, yes, you will lose your life, which is unique and non-transferrable.

Plus information: instagram, youtube, facebook, magazines usually exhibit fake lifes. Normal life is 99% boring for all of us, Nts or Aspies, and that is great.

I don't feel that I'm missing out on life at all. I imagine that I miss out on some pretty bad things.

I was never into clubbing either. At your age I was into hiking. I liked to climb mountains and sleep under the stars (and I don't mean in a tent). Just me inside a sleeping bag staring into the night's sky. I wonder if they have hiking clubs in the U.K.?

It's a good way to meet new people.

Many people live happily without the nightlife. No shame in checking out someplace new now and then if it looks interesting though.

I "miss out" on some things other people experience and they "miss out" on things I experience. That is true for everybody.

I put "miss out" in quotes because I believe some of these things were never mine to have in the first place. Sure I have blown chances for positive experiences because of laziness, careless, stupidity etc but not everything.

The difficult thing is some of the things I "miss out" on partially or totally because of my autism is what most people either do not "miss out" on or JUDGE most important in life.

ASPartOfMe,

I was the same. I missed out on a great deal of the experiences I am now having because of my own stupidity and ineptitude. I have to think, 'I'm here now," and be careful so I don't lose what I have.