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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 21 Jun 2017
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 60

06 Aug 2018, 6:47 am

I realized over the weekend that I need to be controlled in order to not feel anxious and have extreme anxiety. I need to be told what I can and cant do and have some boundaries that are stricter than what I would prefer. I thought that my intense anxiety was from being alone but realized I'm only comfortable more specifically when I am in a situation where I have rules imposed upon me that restrict my behavior and make me do things out of obligation. This is why I have fantasized many times about being in a mental hospital or jail and why I was happy in the military. Anyone else? I seem to need this at all times... to be under authority.

Babi dwr
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Age: 1942
Gender: Female
Posts: 95
Location: UK

06 Aug 2018, 8:06 am

No I hate feeling like I am being controlled and really struggle if that happens. But I do realise now that throughout my life I have taken on 'too much' so that my life was naturally limited into chunks of time where I had no choice but to do certain things to manage. Ive lost that and it made me realise just how important it is. I cant make my own routine or timeframe, I have to just juggle lots of commitments and then I function much better.


Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,745

06 Aug 2018, 10:59 am

My daughter recently said to me that she thinks she does better when she has more responsibilities (than her normal, stay-home disability allowance imposes). No s#!t, Shirley! (not her real name)

We have been talking for years about how she does better with structure. Without it, her daily rhythms become unmoored, she seems more confused, and she accomplishes little, which she feels bad about.

So I can totally identify with what you've said, although I think personally, I can function okay with only moderate structure.

I think structure or limits are part of executive functions, which are severely impaired for many of us.

A finger in every pie.