Women who view sex more like men--how many of us?

Post Reply New Topic

I've always been this way, and it regularly astonishes people, both secular and religious. It doesn't fit the narrative people have about women and sex. I've now been on countless web sites, and have dealt with media through the years, and at age 33, it's clear to me that most women don't like sex. But I'm not this way.

I've never quite understood most women's hang-ups over sex, unless there's been a prior abuse experience.

Since I'm actually female myself and I have a very high sex drive and am easily stimulated by physically attractive males, I got married in part because I couldn't remain single anymore and needed to deal with the urges (marriage has been great in this regard, and thankfully the bed is undefiled per Scripture--I'm conservative Christian).

I surfed web sites like Playgirl a lot when I was a teenager (although I think it was paid then and I had to get around the age restriction, so I could only view the free galleries). I avoid magazines like ESPN Body now because the men stimulate me, and as a married female, it's not appropriate for me to be looking at other men in that way. When I joined a web site like Dirty Girls in part to deal with past porn addiction, none of the women there understood my problem. Their porn addictions all stemmed from prior abuse. Well, I have no history of abuse. I just like handsome and toned men. I left that site when I realized no one else shared my problem.

I have no close female friendships largely because I refuse to indulge and empathize with most women's view of sex. It's hard for me to imagine why they cannot get excited by attractive men.

I like the physical, visual, and intimacy aspects of sex. All of it.

I posted these thoughts on a Christian forum recently, and it was surprisingly well-received. (Although so far all the likes are from males.) I posted it on another autism forum recently, and it was again well-received, but only by the males.

But I cannot be the only female like this. Who else is afraid to simply admit it? I know I've come across a few online who admit that certain males are super-hot and sexy. But they seem reluctant to admit that outside of more limited contexts.

Wondering when we will get beyond MeToo and Victorian ideas about sex and get to the point where more women admit that it's amazing and that there are hot men out there who excite them in such a way.

I can’t relate. I’m not turned on by “hot guys.” I’m turned on by things like romance, kindness, and affection.

I've known plenty of women who are pretty aggressive sexually.....I don't find this unusual at all.

Women usually are not demonstrative in public—though some are.

In the private domain, it’s a different story.

I think the culture of the midwest is much more conservative than NYC so that's probably why there's a social bias against it where you are but not where kraftiekortie is.

That's probably true.

But, in the "NASCAR" culture, there is a paradox. Women tend to be rambunctious----but they tend to be abused, too. There tend to be more defined gender roles within that culture.

Within other Midwest cultures, conservative values reign. But the strictures and barriers are loosening even there---despite Trump.

Actually, come to think of it, I didn't really grow up in mainstream NYC culture. I grew up in "outer borough" culture (Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Staten Island), where more conservative values actually reign. TV shows like "All in the Family" and "King of Queens" reflect this "outer borough" culture. The more "liberal" culture is actually in the borough of Manhattan.

Twilightprincess' reply indicates what I've always perceived the general tendency is -- women want and respond to romance and affection, not physical sex or attractiveness. This is probably emphasized more in conservative areas and in Christian churches, but I've always gotten the impression it's a general American media thing as well.

No other females have replied to this thread, incidentally, which I think emphasizes this aspect. Either they are afraid to admit it, or it really is a much less common thing, across the world ... ?

I see what you mean. Why wouldn't a woman want to admit that she has a heart and soul?

And that she is a person with certain needs, just like men are people with certain needs.

I once had a girlfriend who ordained that we have sex six days a week....and she was really the shy type in public.

I would agree that women usually prefer gentlemanly behavior (except maybe in the sack) over rough-hewn, "bad-boy" type of behavior.

I should mention that I do appreciate gentlemanly behavior, and my husband exhibits such. But he is also hot.

I mentioned ESPN Body. There was this guy who appeared in that a few years ago...a really hot athlete dude who models underwear and other clothes when he isn't playing his pro sport. Well they had him parade around naked in a desert. Really handsome and sensual dude out there in his birthday suit...WOW it was exciting. I mean they edited it so you couldn't see his equipment but you could see everything else. In my flesh I wouldn't have minded seeing the equipment, too. I also learned I wasn't the only lady who swooned over him. He got his modeling deals for a reason.

So anyway, I know a lot of girls get upset when a guy eyeballs a hot lady. But that's how those things work. When people of the opposite sex look good, it's exciting. I still love and adore my husband, and think he's hot. But I did get distracted by that athlete dude. I had to stop looking up all his modeling pictures and such because it was too titillating. Besides, I don't want to upset the Deity since I'm Christian. I'm pretty sure that staring at naked guys who aren't my husband fall under the sin of lust, so I can't be doing such things and adhere to the faith.

But again, just to explain further, that's how I respond to things. And lots of folks think it's unusual. I guess most women don't ogle hot guys or especially hot naked guys, or like to admit they do.

They don't ogle them publicly.....but at least some of them "ogle" them secretly.

I've had to make do with my other attributes---I don't have an "ESPN" type bod...I'm short, and I'm nerdy-looking. And I'm old, too. I have to concede that I'm no heartthrob.....

Most of us guys have to make do with what we got, and use what we got to the greatest advantage.

They don't talk about it because they want the option of getting in a long term relationship with a guy who isn't very good at it. In the USA there are a lot of guys who aren't good at sex. There are more plausible options for lying if you don't talk about it.

I did yes most definitely and used to talk about it just like it was the usual thing to do. I didnt realise it was that much of a problem because I worked in a male dominated job. When I changed from that industry and realised that it wasnt the usual thing I quickly adapted to not talk about it because I kept causing 'shocked' reactions in people and it made me feel bad. Also it kind of changed with age too as I just cba these days, that side of life involves a man and when you are as bruised by life as I am its best left alone sadly. Its something that was a fun part of my earlier years.

Guys don't mind talking about it as much because women will lie about orgasms, so guys think they are doing great. But, women know the truth, even though they aren't willing to share that information.

Faked orgasm on Youtube
Harry met Sally
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNEX0fbGePg