Suicidal feelings yet again

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fifasy, if you're no longer in crisis, let this thread die out and post on a more cheerful sounding topic.

People do worry about you.

I been talking to fifasy on Facebook messenger, I wish we live closer to each other.

He's nice, isn't he.

Thank you. I wouldn’t mind getting a cup of tea with you if I were in England, but I’m many thousand miles away. But I am sure that there is someone in England who wouldn’t mind meeting up with you. I just think the culture in some areas does not lend for meeting people easily for those who are different. Do you ever invite people to socialize with you? Not just women but men, pensioners, and others who might also be lonely?

I'm afraid I don't really know how to answer this, I'm not sure what to say (or write to be technically correct).

I suppose the sum of it would be I tried and failed at that. There are reasons why I think that to be the case but they aren't interesting.

You can continue to plug away, sir.

Chronos has never said she wanted to have a cup of tea with ME. I don’t feel too good about that

I'm one lucky guy!

I don't associate New York with tea. But should I ever visit New York, you and your wife are welcome to join me for a bagel and cream cheese.

I’m really sorry you feel this way, and that it’s a reoccurring state of mind.
I really identify. I’ve experienced suicidal ideation for as long as I can remember.
For what it’s worth, I find myself attempting to negotiate with myself.
Pamper - not punish. If that makes sense?

Go out of your way to do a thing that you enjoy.
I watch crapulence on YouTube. Makes me feel talented.

Make a proper cuppa, with loose tea leaves in a tea ball. Take time over the ritual. Dunk a biscuit. Don’t be funked if it snaps.

Water some plants. Pet a cat/dog. Fold some laundry. Be mindful about all the useful stuff you do. Even if you’re not doing it in your current state of mind.

I find myself talking to animals a lot. They don’t judge.

Also, sit tight. The mood should pass. It’ll be back of course, but it’s somehow easier to manage if you consider it to be an obligatory shift.

And remember always that you’re the only one of you. That has to count for something

/\ Nice reply!

Taking time over a ritual is good advice. Today I've spent 4 hours making a chilli con carne and watching TV and browsing the net simultaneously.

I used to talk to cows sometimes when I lived in the countryside and walked past them.

Thank you

I love chilli. I’m a massive advocate of therapeutic cooking. Something deeply satisfying about prepping, especially when you’re making from scratch. Even better so if you’re able to include bits and pieces you’ve grown yourself, or a personal spice mix that you’ve blended to your own specification. I regularly cook for people - it’s a passion, and it’s one of the few interactions with others that I seem to be able to get right.

I’ve become something of a chicken whisperer of late.
I’m currently babysitting my partners chickens. 16 lovely girls. Well, mostly lovely. Some of them are proper little bum holes. They’re ruined - warm porridge for breakfast, and I sing to them at night when I put them to bed. I know it’s demented. I always thought I’d end up a crazy cat lady... but I’m beginning to see the appeal of collecting chickens

I'd like to cook for people too actually, it's great to see people enjoy something you make. I agree about the spice mix, that's fun experimenting with them. I haven't grown any of my own food though, I always killed every house plant I had so didn't think it was worth a go.

Your situation with the chickens is an odd one. It's like back to front. They say usually it's men who are hen pecked!

They’re tiny voracious raptors