27 Aug 2018, 12:06 am
More violence on the news and I'll be 25 in a few hours. I'm also starting a new job in the morning. I feel like I could do state of the art tech work my whole life & it might never bring me closer to anybody.
All the skill in the world means nothing for me when I'm out of touch with pretty much everyone I really trust socially.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
27 Aug 2018, 2:09 am
Existential exhaustion is pretty heavy.
Can you put it down for a while?
At least while we raise a glass.
Happy 25th, cbergster 
27 Aug 2018, 2:54 am
It's 1:50am and I just did the same; not much else to do but I picked my friend up. Frozen pizza time.
Back to the insomnia & addicts threads; I bought a whole new router & now I can stick around here twice as easily, to keep it weird.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
Last edited by cberg on 27 Aug 2018, 3:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
27 Aug 2018, 3:04 am
I'm sorry I forgot ypu loathe frozen pizza, at least it's not a terribly cheap one.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
27 Aug 2018, 6:06 am
27 Aug 2018, 9:10 am
27 Aug 2018, 7:26 pm
Thanks, though by then I hope to have stopped worrying once my isolation & awkwardness is no longer such a problem. It takes me years to even remotely trust anyone & I can disappear behind a bunch of LCDs for almost as long. I'm only working in the first place so I can more easily stay in touch with people who actually know me. I just want my place in a quiet corner to smoke herb & ponder their tech problems.
There's got to be some kind of resolution eventually.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
28 Aug 2018, 9:01 pm
Back to work in 8 hours. I can't sleep even though I have to. I can't stop thinking about the consequences of having almost nothing to do with people.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
29 Aug 2018, 12:01 am
It feels like there's nothing I can ask in here to answer my real questions.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
29 Aug 2018, 1:49 am
Sometimes I don't know why I keep trying, other than to prove to myself how far I can go without falling over.
I really need to get that disabled parking permit. 
ilovehumanitybuthatepeople
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 28 Aug 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Midwest
29 Aug 2018, 2:34 am
ilovehumanitybuthatepeople
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 28 Aug 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Midwest
29 Aug 2018, 2:34 am
29 Aug 2018, 11:59 pm
I'm working 40 hours but I also volunteer testing free software quite a lot. I'm actually typing this in a test version of Firefox on my phone.
It just bums me out how seldom I get to share anything I know with friends who understand me. I feel like I'm selling everyone short when we can't find any time to learn from each other.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
30 Aug 2018, 6:58 pm
I really need to get that disabled parking permit.
The only reason I'm working this hard is to enjoy the spoils with the few friends who really know me. I just finished guilt tripping myself for leaving the office 2 hours early even though my boss was fine with it. My job is actually awesome, I just can't stop walking on eggshells though considering my prior experiences.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
02 Sep 2018, 1:52 am
Bumping my own topic because I'm so f*ing confused & this seems more efficient than complaining in a new one.
It feels like the more I work on myself in order to spend more time with people, the more the introspection isolates me.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
02 Sep 2018, 3:12 am
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