Do women like or dislike effeminate men?

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sly279
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02 Sep 2018, 9:57 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:

I don't know what you mean about being submissive, I'm not into it as this sexual kinky thing... but thinking about what you said to kraftiekortie I would definitely prefer someone who doesn't decide everything about dates than someone that does. I don't like when a guy acts like he is the one in charge of everything because I have my own rhythm and desires and we are equal, I should be heard too. I also don't like this attitude when guys do things trying to impress, like I'm some sort of thing to be conquered.

How do you know how most women in your area think? Do they told you that in real life? Or aren't you just using your negative feelings to confirm a negative bias? I'm not disputing that a huge number of woman may prefer partners who fit this traditional idea of masculinity, but... there are ones who don't and if you are too busy being sorry for be who you are you won't find the ones who appreciate who you are.


There’s sexual submissive and regular submissive, some women like a submissive guy in bedroom but nit anywhere else, just like some women like to be submissive in bedroom but nit out of it. I’m submissive both although can be dominant in bedroom sometimes.

This isn’t adult section though so just outside bedroom. I’d be fine with gf deciding where we eat, controlling the money and bills, deciding any vacations we go, provide she’s reasonably about it all. I’d probably go along with what she wants, but somethings I’d say no to. I’d rather she wear the pants in the house as men say.

Most women are pretty open about how they view men and what a real man is and etc on their social media and profiles.

The ones who don’t are in relationships though.
I’ve met slots of women who say they don’t care but they all have one thing in common, they’re in a relationship or married and met their spouse in high school or college so 16-25 age rage. Most single women here have this perfect dream guy idea and won’t take anything less and tell me I’m not a real man(they don’t even know anything about me being submissive just thst I don’t work a good job, own a car or have my own place. People on wp have pointed out no women will date a guy like me so it’s hopeless.
So anything relationship wise is all theory talk for me :cry:



cberg
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02 Sep 2018, 10:19 pm

sly279 wrote:
Even if I was the bread winner I’d still want my gf in charge


Seconded. If my money needs to be shared why would I want to be in charge of it? I don't mind girls being somewhat bossy because it clarifies how they may be thinking. When someone's important to me I'd rather she have a say in my life even if we're not together. It's better to have an open dialogue than no one at all.


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ltcvnzl
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02 Sep 2018, 10:28 pm

sly279 wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:

I don't know what you mean about being submissive, I'm not into it as this sexual kinky thing... but thinking about what you said to kraftiekortie I would definitely prefer someone who doesn't decide everything about dates than someone that does. I don't like when a guy acts like he is the one in charge of everything because I have my own rhythm and desires and we are equal, I should be heard too. I also don't like this attitude when guys do things trying to impress, like I'm some sort of thing to be conquered.

How do you know how most women in your area think? Do they told you that in real life? Or aren't you just using your negative feelings to confirm a negative bias? I'm not disputing that a huge number of woman may prefer partners who fit this traditional idea of masculinity, but... there are ones who don't and if you are too busy being sorry for be who you are you won't find the ones who appreciate who you are.


There’s sexual submissive and regular submissive, some women like a submissive guy in bedroom but nit anywhere else, just like some women like to be submissive in bedroom but nit out of it. I’m submissive both although can be dominant in bedroom sometimes.

This isn’t adult section though so just outside bedroom. I’d be fine with gf deciding where we eat, controlling the money and bills, deciding any vacations we go, provide she’s reasonably about it all. I’d probably go along with what she wants, but somethings I’d say no to. I’d rather she wear the pants in the house as men say.

Most women are pretty open about how they view men and what a real man is and etc on their social media and profiles.

The ones who don’t are in relationships though.
I’ve met slots of women who say they don’t care but they all have one thing in common, they’re in a relationship or married and met their spouse in high school or college so 16-25 age rage. Most single women here have this perfect dream guy idea and won’t take anything less and tell me I’m not a real man(they don’t even know anything about me being submissive just thst I don’t work a good job, own a car or have my own place. People on wp have pointed out no women will date a guy like me so it’s hopeless.
So anything relationship wise is all theory talk for me :cry:


I don't have much experience neither, but sometimes I feel people tend to inflate their expectations when they talk about it. Relationships are a hard thing and I'm a bit hopeless too, I just want that you (and anyone) get depressed or feel urged to act in another way because of it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Sep 2018, 11:57 pm

I’ve lost refently a lot of weight because I am through a life-changing difficult health issue.

When I was with my girlfriend and her friends yesterday from various Asian countries, all her friends commented (in their own languages which I don’t understand) that I am too skinny, I knew because she translated, but I could also tell from their facial expressions that it wasn’t a positive remark. In fact most of her friends told her so before my weight loss, but now it’s even more frequent. She told me they expect her with a bulkier guy, especially she is not very petite (she is almost of my weight and we have same height exactly, equal size overall).

Only she still likes me though, no matter what. My angel.

So to answer the OP, no, not even most of the Asian girls like any form of unmanliness in a man, let alone effimancy.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Sep 2018, 12:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

cberg
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03 Sep 2018, 12:03 am

Dude I'm pretty sure we knew you would say as much. I don't think OP asked for generalizations.

Why make this about who gets along with whom when we can just enlighten each other?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2018, 12:11 am

cberg wrote:
Dude I'm pretty sure we knew you would say as much. I don't think OP asked for generalizations.

Why make this about who gets along with whom when we can just enlighten each other?


I don’t understand your post.

What I am saying is a true story, not jumbo mumbo, the first remark *all* her friends did when they saw us togother first time was “He is too skinny” or “or he looks skinnier than the pictures”, and often jokingly ask me to eat more to change that.

And we all know that skinniness is not a masculine trait, at least not culturally so.



cberg
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03 Sep 2018, 12:27 am

It is if a guy is skinny. Clearly your expectations do not match reality. I have a female friend wbo tells me to eat more & she has a point but I'm always going to be skinny so are you saying I should errode my courage of conviction in my own identity?


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sly279
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03 Sep 2018, 1:44 am

ltcvnzl wrote:

I don't have much experience neither, but sometimes I feel people tend to inflate their expectations when they talk about it. Relationships are a hard thing and I'm a bit hopeless too, I just want that you (and anyone) get depressed or feel urged to act in another way because of it.

I have none.
They may be hard but they’re worth it and life without them is horrible.
Why are you hopeless people who’ve seen your picture say you’re pretty. You see, really nice too.
I’m depressed a lot. I feel it’s to be expected when one never has a relationship and women don’t want anything to do with him and he doesn’t have any friends or social contact.
Another way?



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03 Sep 2018, 5:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I’ve lost refently a lot of weight because I am through a life-changing difficult health issue.

When I was with my girlfriend and her friends yesterday from various Asian countries, all her friends commented (in their own languages which I don’t understand) that I am too skinny, I knew because she translated, but I could also tell from their facial expressions that it wasn’t a positive remark. In fact most of her friends told her so before my weight loss, but now it’s even more frequent. She told me they expect her with a bulkier guy, especially she is not very petite (she is almost of my weight and we have same height exactly, equal size overall).

Only she still likes me though, no matter what. My angel.

So to answer the OP, no, not even most of the Asian girls like any form of unmanliness in a man, let alone effimancy.


here is the same, skinny isn't masculine nor do women like effeminate guys. effeminate guys are considered to be on the gayish side, especially if they dress girly/like metro-sexuals or talk in an affective manner.

I'm sorry about your health issue, hope all will be OK.



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03 Sep 2018, 7:28 am

sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:

In our society taller typically means dominant. Maybe you should try dating taller girls?

A lot of women want men to be taller then them.
Even if they didn’t im 6’4 I’ve only seen one woman taller then me.
6’5”+ women are very very rare.

Also the dominant women I’ve seen online like being dominant over men who are bigger and stronger then them. Says it makes them feel impowered


Wow! That really changes things! You should date tall girls. Too tall is a date breaker for MEN.



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03 Sep 2018, 8:48 am

It's not impossible for an effeminate guy to find a woman but the tricky thing if meeting the rite woman. As I mentioned in my other post in here, I'm kind of effeminate. My girlfriend jokes that I'm 51% feminine & that she's 51% masculine. She's very different than other women because she was interested in me despite my MANY issues. I was(& still am) on Social Security Disability, cant drive, & was stuck living with my parents cuz of that & was also very lonely & a little depressed. on top of lots of other things She liked the fact that I'm very supportive(or at least try to be), very affectionate, very accepting(I was very desperate), & was very willing to relocate(I felt very trapped living with my parents in a rural area with no public transportation). This whole combo of stuff made me unattractive to most other women but for some reason my girlfriend was actually surprised I was still single when she messaged me.


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06 Sep 2018, 1:47 pm

I think some people here are misconstruing the concept of effeminate with the idea of having no responsibility or being submissive in a relationship. However, among homosexual men at least, being a "fem" or a "queen" has no bearing on their level of responsibilities in a relationship and whether they are dominant or submissive, sexually or otherwise. They are effeminate in terms of the fact that their personality, body language, and manner of expression contains elements more often associated with the female gender.



sly279
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06 Sep 2018, 4:06 pm

Chronos wrote:
I think some people here are misconstruing the concept of effeminate with the idea of having no responsibility or being submissive in a relationship. However, among homosexual men at least, being a "fem" or a "queen" has no bearing on their level of responsibilities in a relationship and whether they are dominant or submissive, sexually or otherwise. They are effeminate in terms of the fact that their personality, body language, and manner of expression contains elements more often associated with the female gender.


Being submissive doesn’t mean you have no responsibility, just that you give more decision making over to the other. Usually(which is changing hopefully) most relationships the man makes the decisions after discussing(sadly sometimes without).
Both partners still need do chores and stuff.
My emotional and behavior or more like women like, perhaps cause I was raised by only women. I don’t like getting dirty, I’m not physical strong, I prefer to stay inside, etc. women who like getting dirty, doing outdoors stuff etc are called tomboys, am I a tomgirl? Am I effeminate? I’m not too masculine. I do tend to like male steroptye hobby’s to a extent. Men call me a wuss, women say I’m not manly.
Emotional I’m more female, sex is very emotional thing for me that makes me feel more attached to someone, while for a lot of men it’s not and they just see it as fun. I tend to want to be listened to rather then have solutions given(stereotype for women), I cry when upset. Aren’t tomboys usually raised by mostly men? Atleast in movies and shows they are, perhaps that is why they are mor masculine? So perhaps the opposite is true.
Probably why I get along better emotionally with women as friends then men. My male friends liked to do things outdoors that I didn’t.
I dont know if my body language is effeminate or not though.



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06 Sep 2018, 5:42 pm

As a butch woman who often gets mistaken for an effeminate man, I can say that being a "fem" man is a huge PITA.


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sly279
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06 Sep 2018, 6:19 pm

What’s pita mean?



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06 Sep 2018, 6:49 pm

Sorry.

Pain-In-The-A$$


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