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alpacka
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29 Aug 2018, 6:52 am

Kamryn wrote:
Does anyone get ghosted frequently or have a very high ratio of being ghosted when trying to make friends?
It's rare that someone doesn't ghost me. It's usually as quick as after 2-3 messages. I'm generally not negative. I'm not so quick to bring up Autism, and it still happens.

I also get misjudged frequently, like if I say something and sincere (but not taken to be disrespectful in anyway), people act like I'm not, but rarely has someone accused me of not being sincere or honest. Maybe the people where I live are just very judgemental? I feel like it is me personally, like something about me, a curse, strong insecure feelings that others can sense and registers as negative energy or something. I can't figure it out, but it feels like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Maybe I just have horrible communication skills, and I'm not picking up on how my words can be misinterpreted. It could be that and talking to the wrong kind of people.

Is there anyone else who this happens to or gets what I'm saying?


Yes this happends to me too. I think it´s the modern way to say "okey, I feel I have figured you out now and I want to escape from this relationship as soon as I can but in a subtle way as possible". The only problem is, it´s not subtle at all, we do notice when someone is ghosting.
Let say you have a friend that takes ages to reply your email, you know for sure that this person really doesn´t put you on a piedestal but still you hope he or she change one day (never happends). So you patiently wait and wait and wait until one day you understand that she has ghosted you all the time.


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SabbraCadabra
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29 Aug 2018, 4:18 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
In the course of human history, texting is such an incredibly new phenomenon, that it should be no surprise that there is a lack of etiquette around it.

I was thinking about this today, and we actually used to have etiquette, but it was very different back then. We used to have instant messaging, and you knew that if their status was set to "away", or if they weren't online, or whatever, you would leave an offline message, and you wouldn't expect an instant reply. It was understood that not everyone had broadband Internet, and not everyone kept their computers online 24/7. If it was really important, you could email or dial them on the phone.

Now we have these cell phones, and this giant influx of people who have never touched a computer before, with this assumption that since you always have your phone on your person, you are always available to answer a text. And if you don't answer...


On the flip side, I imagine that with people using so many different "apps" to communicate with people, and the volatile nature of modern Internet/social media, if they don't reply to your message right away, it immediately gets lost in a flood of information overload. Here today, gone today.


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Kamryn
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13 Sep 2018, 9:34 pm

Someone who I was sure wasn't going to ghost me, has, and has blocked me on here. I'm don't know if it's a curse or because there is something off with my communication skills or they are just so horrible, or people are judgemental.

I had replies to a post that I made about myself about my struggles for anyone like me who can relate. I had a couple messages saying I am free to talk about anything with them or rant, and they ghost right after the first messages. I'm sure it is a curse, because there is a wall between me and making friends and connecting with anyone.

When I try to find out the reason for the ghosting, or blocking, they avoid telling me like it's the plague.
Are people just cruel? Do they enjoy the fact that there is someone suffering and not knowing why?



blackicmenace
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13 Sep 2018, 10:04 pm

I don't communicate with many people so I have no idea how prevalent it is, but I did have someone I met on tinder give me her number only to completely ignore me. I found it to be very confusing.


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Kamryn
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22 Sep 2018, 11:02 am

Friends of my Sister who meet me in person, don't ghost me, and I met someone with Autism, she hasn't ghosted me.

The guy who PM'd me, who claimed that I was ghosting him, would've looked and seen my last online time, he would have seen that I haven't been online and wasn't ghosting him. That is on him. I don't know if he was playing with me, or what. It's really hurtful.
He has blocked me despite I haven't sent him any nasty messages, I only replied to say that I wasn't ghosting him, and I didn't mind him asking questions about my PPA. I don't know what is going on, but I decided to stay clear of him.

I don't know why these type of people always seem to sniff me out and become attached to me. They seem to go out of there way to connect with me, act all friendly, and then out of the blue, ghost me. I don't know if it was the plan, if they were a sociopath, who likes setting people up and hurting them. But the people who ghost me have that reoccurring theme.

On another website, this girl went out of her way connect with me emotionally after I put myself out there.
She asked all about me, saying things about her that related to me, things we allegedly had in common. She said some things about her, and the conversation seemed great, than out of the blue, ghosted.

One girl waited until I said I had Autism then suddenly went 180, claiming she had a degree in psychology and I couldn't have Autism because I was talking to her and said some nasty things to me.

I recognise the theme, and the game they play. They seem a little too interested, too kind; too good to be true.
I never had a legit person message me like that.
Is it a good idea to just block someone who does that?



Yakuzamonroe
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23 Sep 2018, 10:13 pm

I've ghosted people simply I did not feel connected with those people. Happens a lot as one who is part of the spectrum.

I've made some enemies doing that. Won't lie.



Dear_one
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24 Sep 2018, 5:29 am

Mine is often the last letter in an exchange. I like to think that this is because I leave little more to add or dispute. In general, I don't find much room between boring and scary - there are only a few people interesting enough to stay in touch with. I don't have family, and I've moved away from most of the friends I've had physically, and not kept up much after that.
I suspect that these days, people using social media are multitasking and unable to really perceive and respect a fellow human through their gadgets. Anything that does not fit a stereotype can't be processed, so it gets ignored.



sharkattack2
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24 Sep 2018, 1:12 pm

Kamryn wrote:
Someone who I was sure wasn't going to ghost me, has, and has blocked me on here. I'm don't know if it's a curse or because there is something off with my communication skills or they are just so horrible, or people are judgemental.

I had replies to a post that I made about myself about my struggles for anyone like me who can relate. I had a couple messages saying I am free to talk about anything with them or rant, and they ghost right after the first messages. I'm sure it is a curse, because there is a wall between me and making friends and connecting with anyone.

When I try to find out the reason for the ghosting, or blocking, they avoid telling me like it's the plague.
Are people just cruel? Do they enjoy the fact that there is someone suffering and not knowing why?


I got to know a relitave with classic autism and I was plagued with texts and calls.
He did not understand boundries so in the end I ghosted him and I know I did the right thing.

I have Aspergers and I understand people don't have to be my friend.

It sounds to me that your messages were too much and too soon.

In my case I ghosted this guy because dealing with him was chipping away at my sanity.

Life is not all about YOU communication is a two way street and you being ghosted a number of times says more about you than it does about the people ghosting you.

Your communication must have made the people feel uncomfortable.

Now before you take this post the wrong way remember what site we are on.
I do not have friends of relationships either guess why? I have ASD as I am guess you also have.

My self worth is not based on friendships or relationships and if it was I would be in a sorry state.

These people that have ghosted you do not wish to communacate with you accept this and move on.

Maybe these people are afraid you will get upset if they are honest with you like I have just done.
If my post upsets or offends you I am sorry that was not my intention but if you are upset or offended by my bluntly honest post you have your answer to why you have been ghosted.

Your 22 I am 44 double your age I have learned to like myself maybe your should do the same. :D