Are these "okay" behaviors?

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I'm 22 and the only person in my family diagnosed with HFAS. But I believe almost everyone in my family is AS or ASD. I'm also born with a minor birth defect (I'm missing a right eye) The relationship I have with my parents is emotionally abusive, as because of my various disabilities. I am considered lesser than human to them. I go to school out of state, but I return home during my summer and winter breaks.

My father is also an narcassist and has this unhealthy obession with me, becuase for the last few years I have tried to cut him out of my life. And he wants to "fix" our relationship by his "love." He dosen't believe in therapy (for himself) and dosen't believe in medication for mental illness (anti depressants, ADD medications, etc) Recently I got into a heated argument with my father becuase I called him out on his likely-AS inapproprite behavior.

Yesterday I was in the kitchen, while my mother was making dinner. I was refilling my pill box at the table for the week, like i normally do. And my father, grabs the pill bottles and asks like he is four "what are you taking?' I grab the bottle from him and say, "Your being invasive." He gets mad, "how am I being invasive." I take my meds, pillbox with me and head upstairs, telling him I don't want to have this conversation with him. He'd been literally picking arguments like this the entire day yesterday.

Earlier this afternoon, my mom questions my "outburst" towards my father the previous night. (I forgot to mention, my parents secretly hate each other) I tried to explain to her that I have been very uncomfortable with my father's obession with me and my "outburst" was about him invading my personal space. My mother tries to justify his behavior saying becuase he is my parent, he should know what I'm taking. I tried to explain to her this would be reasonable behavior if I was:
a) Under the age of 18
b) Was at risk at harming myself or others (which I have had a history of, but I am almost year clean of suicidal thoughts)
c) Didn't have the cognitive or physical ability to live on my own

Am I wrong here? Other weird things my dad likes to do is:
* Walk in my room uninvited, lay on the bed and ramble about nonsense, as if he is having a conversation with himself, as I have tuned him out.
* I'm not even allowed to have my door closed during luxury time unless I am sleeping, filming (I have a few webshows), changing, masterbating/having sex or on the phone. IRONICALLY, my younger brother (19) always has the door closed. Dunno why that is.
* He has to ask every time I come out of the therapist or psychiatrist office what I talked about with them
* He vents to his children about the personal issues he has with his wife
* Puts the blame on me when I call him out on his behavior because I don't empathize with him.
* Reads diary or journal entries of mine when I'm not home. (I'll be out of state for school and he'll tell me about the wonderful stories I wrote in my diary back at hime. Which is in a bookshelf)
* Rummages through my sex toy and porn collection (which is very small by the way) then asks if he can borrow them, then claim "as a joke."

Am I supposed to be okay with this? What do you guys think?

Nope. They are not “okay” behaviors. Most of these wouldn’t be okay even if you were a child.

I have certain thoughts and speculations. One of them is that your father harbors unconscious incestuous feelings towards you.

It’s only speculation. But some of the actions he performs aren’t “dad-like.”

It is very difficult for parents to let go of their role just because you had a birthday, especially if you are still living in their home. They will feel responsible for things that happen in your life until the day you die, whether you like it or not, but will eventually learn to push it out of their mind and let you have your independence, especially once you are no longer living with them. I recommend having a little empathy for where your dad is coming from while working to establish your autonomy in a gentle but firm manner. Us parents are capable of learning to let go, but not for one minute will it ever be natural (for many of us, at least; everyone is different). The step you can take to make the break easier is to move out on your own.

I found a lot of your dad's behavour inappropriate. It might be that he is finding it difficult to relate to you as

an adult rather than as a child. Both of my parents had trouble adjusting eg my mother left when I was 14 but

when I was 26 she smashed a plate with her lunch on it against the kitchen cabinets. When I asked her why

she said because I wouldn't do as I was told I was in no way financially reliant on her or living with her, and

I had listened calmly to her opinion and given a clear reason for not following her advice so she throw her plate

across the kitchen My dad has said some inappropriate things over the years but he does so across the

board. I don't think he can tell when he shouldn't say something. Does your dad say embarrassing things to

other people too?