I don't know who is being more childish here

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Summer_Twilight
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29 Aug 2018, 10:45 am

Hi:
I recently had posted about a situation that arose on Fakebook involving a woman who I thought was my friend only to learn that she is capable of starting drama. Well anyway, she pushed my buttons with her self centered attitude because the graphic photo was hurting her. When I tried to set boundaries with her, she continued to argue back in which I unfriend and blocked her.

My friends and I called her out and even called her some colorful names in private message because we felt that she was being unfair. Her husband has been attacking us Via Facebook message about how he is going to go to the police because my friends and I are "Ganging up on her and calling her names." He also said that instead, we should have just deleted the posts and just grow up.

If I want to confront something the next time they guilt trip me like that how do I handle my anger on social media?



Stardust Parade
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29 Aug 2018, 4:42 pm

Stay off of social media?



Chronos
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29 Aug 2018, 4:57 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Hi:
I recently had posted about a situation that arose on Fakebook involving a woman who I thought was my friend only to learn that she is capable of starting drama. Well anyway, she pushed my buttons with her self centered attitude because the graphic photo was hurting her. When I tried to set boundaries with her, she continued to argue back in which I unfriend and blocked her.

My friends and I called her out and even called her some colorful names in private message because we felt that she was being unfair. Her husband has been attacking us Via Facebook message about how he is going to go to the police because my friends and I are "Ganging up on her and calling her names." He also said that instead, we should have just deleted the posts and just grow up.

If I want to confront something the next time they guilt trip me like that how do I handle my anger on social media?


Had I posted something on social media that a friend found it objectionable and requested I remove it, and neither of us could be swayed by polite discussion, I would then have to reevaluate the value of my friendship with this person and if I wanted to continue to associate with someone who's views differed in such a way from my own, and if the friendship is worth moderating myself to the extent the person requested.

If I decided the post or what it expressed or represented were more important than my friendship with this person, I would politely decline to remove it and let the other persob respond as they please.

It sounds like the mistake you both made was prioritizing trying to control other people (each other). The attempt to control others is actually what is at the root of most social drama. Those who focus on controling their own actions and safeguarding their own boundaries have considerably less social drama in their lives.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Aug 2018, 7:39 am

I did some mindfulness yesterday and it came to me that none of us handled things very well and really my friend's husband should not have had to interfere in my conflict between my friend and I. It also came to me that we could have met over coffee or talked it over on the phone. Instead, we blasted each other because it would appear that we all have strong personalities next to being hot-headed people who like to outdo each other in a shouting match. I know next time not to call them again.

Still, I am mad at them not respecting my rights to post something on Facebook and picking a fight with me and then blaming the victim when my friends and I got angry with them in private message. I also don't appreciate her husband poking his nose our business.

Chronos, I like your suggestion about controlling my actions instead of other people and that is something that I am working on.