Spiteful remark!

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29 Aug 2018, 11:01 am

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?"

How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Aug 2018, 11:21 am

I bet this usually happen when the girl’s female friend thinks you’re not handsome enough.

That’s why it’s much harder to approach a girl who’s with her friends; even if the girl is responsive to you but her friends may whisper her like “you can get someone much hotter than him” and ruin all the rapport you tried to build.

Note: before anyone says anything stupid, I actually heard countless of times girls telling such things to their friends (about some guy, not about me), so it’s not me having a social phobia.

Jamesy
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29 Aug 2018, 11:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cheers for saying i am not handsome

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Aug 2018, 11:43 am

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cheers for saying i am not handsome

I don’t know how you look like, but yeah...

Look, pubs are usually sausage fests, and often full of handsome/metrosexual/social guys, it’s not your field jamesy.

Even online dating may be better than a pub for guys like us (both are horrible sausage fests tho).

Jamesy
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29 Aug 2018, 11:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cheers for saying i am not handsome

I have been told i am good looking by other people before.

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Aug 2018, 12:00 pm

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cheers for saying i am not handsome

I have been told i am good looking by other people before.

By women of your age, or by family and old women?

Fnord
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29 Aug 2018, 12:04 pm

Jamesy wrote:

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?" How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

Why are you so quick to judge someone who only asked, "Why are you talking to him?"?

The friend may have meant:

"Why are you talking to him instead of me?"
"Why are you talking to him when you said you only wanted to drink?"
"Why are you talking to him instead of putting him in a lip-lock?"

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Jamesy
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29 Aug 2018, 12:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Cheers for saying i am not handsome

I have been told i am good looking by other people before.

By women of your age, or by family and old women?

These girls at the bar were much younger than me like 18 or very early 20s. I am nearly 29.

Maybe thats why they didnt think much of my looks

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Aug 2018, 2:49 pm

Fnord wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?" How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

No, according to the way he described it and the timing of the comment, it certainly doesn't mean any of these possibilities.

kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2018, 2:53 pm

I just wish James would find something else to do other than bars/pubs.

Like Boo said, they are “sausage feats.” They don’t attract the best of people.

Jamesy
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29 Aug 2018, 3:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?" How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

No, according to the way he described it and the timing of the comment, it certainly doesn't mean any of these possibilities.

I litteraley only spoke too the girl for a few seconds before her friend made the comment.

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Aug 2018, 3:08 pm

Jamesy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?" How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

No, according to the way he described it and the timing of the comment, it certainly doesn't mean any of these possibilities.

I litteraley only spoke too the girl for a few seconds before her friend made the comment.

Then yes, my earlier explanation is the most logical one.

Other sous-ententu variations may mean:
"He's uncool, don't talk to him"
"I feel he's creepy, don't talk to him"

Other possibilities, but unlikely so:

"You are taken, why are you talking to him?"
" You're gay, why are you talking to him? I am your gf!!"

Fnord
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29 Aug 2018, 3:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Jamesy wrote:

I was at the pub recently and i had a quick chat with this girl who i know. As i walked away the (the friend of the girl) who i was talking too said "why are you talking too him?" How can someone be so quick too judge me like that without even knowing me?

No, according to the way he described it and the timing of the comment, it certainly doesn't mean any of these possibilities.

From my perspective, it could very well mean any one of those things.

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Sahn
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29 Aug 2018, 3:32 pm

It just a way of asking why are you talking to that random stranger?

No need to stop going out, no need to analyse it

Chronos
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29 Aug 2018, 3:35 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Now that was a b*tchy thing for her to say. I probably would have turned right around and said "Why not talk to me?" Not in an angry way as I would not want it to be misconstrued as a threat, but in a manner that conveys that I value myself and that the friend's comment was rude.

But concerning your experiences in general at these pubs, while I have no doubt that you struggle reading non verbal body language and social cues, concerning your treatment by others, could it be that these pubs in your area just attract a low quality group of people?

Sahn
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29 Aug 2018, 3:39 pm

There are a lot of great minds at work putting the worst possible spin on this. It just means "who was that?"

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