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chris1989
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29 Aug 2018, 1:05 pm

In my own time I read my books and try to write my own book and I do like being social, but I feel other people maybe even other people with Asperger's Syndrome are more social and go out a lot more socially than I do.
I feel left out and missing out and my life is wasting away when I see on social media, my 'friends' are posting selfies and having a great time socially with friends at a club, bar, pub or restaurant, out for the day somewhere exciting and on holiday somewhere nice or achieved something great that haven't achieved or not yet achieved.



Olivia_H
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29 Aug 2018, 2:14 pm

I literally have zero social life. I don't feel as though I'm missing out because I don't crave that normal social life.

You're only missing out if it's something you actually want, not something you think you should want. I grant you I do often wonder how much easier it would be if I was NT and could do all of the things you listed, but that's just not possible so I've given up craving it.



hurtloam
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29 Aug 2018, 2:39 pm

Losers don't have the self discipline to write books. You are not a loser.

I always wanted to be a writer, but somewhere along the road I lost sight of that goal. I'm not sure what I would even write about now.

I understand that feeling of wanting to be more social. I used to have a close friend who then made new friends and never invites me out with them. I unfllowed her on social media because it just upset me too much.

I've learned that if I want a social life I need to be the organiser. I find shows to go to and invite others along. I have people over to my house. I arrange to meet up for coffee.

I don't wait for invites anymore because I know they won't come. I take charge.


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Joe90
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29 Aug 2018, 4:01 pm

chris1989 wrote:
In my own time I read my books and try to write my own book and I do like being social, but I feel other people maybe even other people with Asperger's Syndrome are more social and go out a lot more socially than I do.
I feel left out and missing out and my life is wasting away when I see on social media, my 'friends' are posting selfies and having a great time socially with friends at a club, bar, pub or restaurant, out for the day somewhere exciting and on holiday somewhere nice or achieved something great that haven't achieved or not yet achieved.


I feel for you, Chris1989. I feel exactly the same. This clubbing thing gets to me. I don't even care for clubbing, but because everybody else around me has done it at least once in their lives, it makes me depressed because I feel like I'm missing out. Clubbing is one of those experiences that the vast majority of people of any neurotype have had, even the people who tried it once but didn't like it. But me, I never ever tried clubbing. But I don't want to...aagghh! The paradox!


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shortfatbalduglyman
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29 Aug 2018, 9:45 pm

The lives of your friends do not necessarily get correctly represented by Facebook

Not everyone goes to clubs, bars, restaurants

For example me

Not everyone achieves "great " things



rick42
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31 Aug 2018, 5:22 pm

Being a Aspie,I realize I will be living a "boring" and very lonely life, and I don't feel too bad about anymore like I used to before a couple a months ago.The only thing that's keeping me from being totally housebound is the fact that I have a job.Until I realized that's okay to not have a social life and live a "boring" life,I went through a lot of depression.For a vast majority of my life I have been feeling that I'm missing out in life and feeling left out,but after realizing within the last 2 months that I'm not them,I have accepted my total aloneness.



rick42
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31 Aug 2018, 5:23 pm

Olivia_H wrote:
I literally have zero social life. I don't feel as though I'm missing out because I don't crave that normal social life.

You're only missing out if it's something you actually want, not something you think you should want. I grant you I do often wonder how much easier it would be if I was NT and could do all of the things you listed, but that's just not possible so I've given up craving it.


Agreed.Over the last 2 months,I have totally given up my craving for social interaction and it made feel a lot better abut myself.