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jimmy m
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09 Sep 2018, 7:10 pm

I am still in my Pleasing 4 stage of childhood development. Its a gift. If you think an Aspie masking as an NT is a stretch. Then think how a 4 or 5 year old masking as a 70 year old is a challenge. But it is definitely doable.


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Desmilliondetoiles
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12 Sep 2018, 1:47 pm

I've always had my mental age and intellectual age as incongruous. I think because society doesn't really confront getting help from others beyond this misconceived notion of a Renaissance Man who can do a little of everything. It's only in academic settings where they tell us to abandon that notion and remember that we're always learning. Sometimes instructors can't explain things because they don't think they're that simple. I feel that we shouldn't be embarrassed or treat it as a bad thing because as a whole it means that we have higher emotional intelligence, adults in comparison are jaded and desensitized. Adults are always sad because they never find joy in the mundane whereas children tend to be fascinated by the simplest things.

That reasoning doesn't immediately take away the icky feelings but it'll be easier to accept eventually. I'm not bashing neuro-typicals, there are plenty of those young at heart. I'm bashing the notion that we have to have "adult interests" and walk around "adult-like" with our "adult" manner of speech.


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Irulan84
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13 Sep 2018, 7:10 am

jon85 wrote:
I still feel like I have to rely on other people carrying me through life.


This is me all over too :( I can't even think what will happen after my mom's death - but well, maybe it won't be that bad. I feel like I was a teen like the OP said - but paradoxally, even when I was in my early teens I was mentally a normal adult woman like any other; I behaved, thought, spoke and wrote like i was 20 years older, once even when I was in my early teens I heard once that one could talk to me rather like to a person in her late teens.



questor
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13 Sep 2018, 8:15 am

Yes, being "young" inside does seem to be common among those on the spectrum. I always feel emotionally like I'm still very young, although I am now in my late 50s. Unfortunately, my health is now shot, so physically, I feel like I am a lot older than my years. As for my looks, for a long time I looked a lot younger than my real age, but now I look approx my real age. I wouldn't mind feeling young inside, if my body also felt that way, too, but I really don't want to go back to being a teenager or kid. Those were really rough years for me.


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Gaara
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13 Sep 2018, 9:15 am

37 but will always feel 12 with the wiseness of someone much older. Mostly it's probably just not wanting to grow up and take adult responsibilities.



kazanscube
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13 Sep 2018, 9:29 am

Yes, seemingly been compared to someone much wiser than my own age indicates wheras, I've been seen as a young adult since, I tend to understand things others seemingly fail to comprehend pertaining to persons younger than myself..


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inkgirl
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13 Sep 2018, 7:03 pm

I have always felt less mature, mentally, than my peers. I am 18, but still don't understand makeup and dating. I feel quite naive sometimes. I also seem to look younger than my age, which I don't mind. I think my appearance matches my mental maturity. I keep my hair really short in a pixie cut, and I love to wear overalls. Functionality and comfort come first in clothing choices.



commentsgohere0101
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14 Sep 2018, 1:26 am

Yes. And I look young for age. I've only recently considered referring to myself as a woman rather than a girl. It still feels wrong. Like I'm an imposter posing as an adult. Today, I was interviewing someone at work and felt myself "going there" and getting too familiar and child-like in my conversation. Playful, joking, maybe. Excitable. Not polished, sophisticated, or professional sounding. I did feel privileged that I wasn't the one feeling uptight in a suit trying to impress me, though.

I try to act polished sometimes and can do it for brief periods of time - but I don't take myself seriously enough and would grin or giggle if I thought about it. Because of this, I've been told I can be cute and endearing (as well as a host of negative traits when I'm not feeling spunky, of course).



auntblabby
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14 Sep 2018, 2:09 am

I don't know what it means, when I've always related to older people- when I was a child, young adult and now older man. :scratch:



b9
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14 Sep 2018, 3:14 am

how can you know you feel younger than you are if you have never felt your age to compare it with?

also, even if you have felt your age briefly in order to say you feel younger than your age, how do you know you felt your age since you have never been in the mind of anyone else your age?



BookwormSophie
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15 Sep 2018, 5:04 pm

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I’m a world traveller and not even 20-year-old me could handle what I’ve done (now 25.) In many ways I am fiercely independent. In many ways I’m an adult. But yeah, in some respects I still feel like I’m kind of stuck at age 18/19. At that emotional maturity age where you’ve outgrown a lot of your teenage angst but you’re still not a full-fledged adult so you’ve got some left over teenage immaturity and incompetence.



nick007
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17 Sep 2018, 2:40 am

I read on more than a few sites that Aspies mental ages tend to average about a 3rd less than their physical ages. Since it's just an average this is not the case for every Aspie. Lots may be older than a 3rd & lots may be younger.

I think that may be the case for me but I also have other disabilities on top of Aspergers & I wasn't able to have the life experiences/mile stones as you age that most of my peers were able to have so this is probably another factor as to why I feel younger.


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auntblabby
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17 Sep 2018, 2:42 am

i missed lotsa milestones but if anything that makes me feel older.



IstominFan
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17 Sep 2018, 8:41 am

I realize that, even though I have made great strides in my life, I will probably never catch up. People consider me intelligent and they tell me they are impressed with my factual knowledge. However, when it comes to sharing stories about relationships, I have nothing to contribute. It makes me very sad.



kazanscube
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17 Sep 2018, 10:33 am

IstominFan wrote:
I realize that, even though I have made great strides in my life, I will probably never catch up. People consider me intelligent and they tell me they are impressed with my factual knowledge. However, when it comes to sharing stories about relationships, I have nothing to contribute. It makes me very sad.



That's quite okay if your not good at expressing your knowledge of social scenarios- relationships and the like, I'm in the same realm as you, Honestly!!


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MSBKyle
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18 Sep 2018, 12:16 am

Same. I'm 25 and feel like I am a little kid. There are a lot of things I should have mastered by now but haven't. I don't feel like I will ever grow out of it.