Lady at work keeps interrogating me 0.o

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I don't get the erection in public whole thing, but maybe I am not high in testosterone enough - I thought only young adults have this ability? At my current age I don't get erection unless I am doing something sexual with someone or deeply fantasizing in the right setting, or morning wood - otherwise I don't get aroused just visually ie. by just seeing an attractive girl in public; yes, I will think she is attractive but not to the point of getting an unwanted erection.

I'd like to comment on this, just in case you might get the impression that all men are the way one person represents himself here:

I don't know about "everybody", but yes, men can do that too. Erections, either involuntary or triggered by sexual thoughts go away if you deliberately concentrate your mind on other things. It has nothing to do with age or level or "horniness" - I'm just teaching my teenage son these days how to avoid embarrassing himself at the pool and generally in public. Most men will know what I'm talking about.

Also, men (with some exceptions it seems) don't automatically get erections or slip into detailed sexual fantasies when they hug a female friend, even an attractive one.

While men are sexual beings and can be very visual, we also have self control and the ability to relate and interact with (attractive) women in a non-sexual way. And plenty of us manage to have meaningful friendships or professional relationships with women without lusting over them.

Can you explain what you mean? I am confused. These things always trouble me.

Like recently I was in the states and filling up at the gas station and my pump wasn't working and this man handed me his pump and said to fill up on him... Why would he do that? What does it mean, what does he want? I really don't get it. What is the scenario he is hoping will happen? Or do people just go around giving away petrol?

If I am guarded in these scenarios I feel like I am being vain as I take it they are approaching me because they find me attactive but if I am not guarded I fear I am being naive. Recently, in moments of self-doubt, I have even wondered if all my male friends through the ages were only friends with me because they thought it would eventually lead to something more which would make me feel rather sad. Although if I am honest with myself I do actually know that is not true as there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.

But recently a female acquaintance said the mums in the playground felt threatened by me as I am attractive. Once again, I am left gobsmacked. Of all the reasons I feel I don't get on with and find it easy to chat with the mums in the playground this would be at the bottom of my list. I myself would never even pay attention to someone's appearance. And they are all dolled up and I am not. So, is this just something she said or do women actually make those kind of odd decisions.

Wow, really pouring out all my insecurities in one place tonight.

Better go to bed now.

Can you explain what you mean? I am confused. These things always trouble me.

Like recently I was in the states and filling up at the gas station and my pump wasn't working and this man handed me his pump and said to fill up on him... Why would he do that? What does it mean, what does he want? I really don't get it. What is the scenario he is hoping will happen? Or do people just go around giving away petrol?

If I am guarded in these scenarios I feel like I am being vain as I take it they are approaching me because they find me attactive but if I am not guarded I fear I am being naive. Recently, in moments of self-doubt, I have even wondered if all my male friends through the ages were only friends with me because they thought it would eventually lead to something more which would make me feel rather sad. Although if I am honest with myself I do actually know that is not true as there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.

But recently a female acquaintance said the mums in the playground felt threatened by me as I am attractive. Once again, I am left gobsmacked. Of all the reasons I feel I don't get on with and find it easy to chat with the mums in the playground this would be at the bottom of my list. I myself would never even pay attention to someone's appearance. And they are all dolled up and I am not. So, is this just something she said or do women actually make those kind of odd decisions.

Wow, really pouring out all my insecurities in one place tonight.

Better go to bed now.

Doesn’t stop it from going erect in the first place . It just happens, yes it goes away that wasn’t the point. It takes time to go away too it’s not instant.

I find your post mean and judgemental
I have lots of self control

Also they’ve done random interviews most men interviewed admired if given the chance they’d have sex with their friends. Everyone needs to focus on how men and women deal with their urges not that they have them.

I'm sorry if I upset you, I really wasn't talking about you. Of course it happens sometimes and sure it's embarrassing and yes, sometimes guys have sexual thoughts about their females friends. And I fully agree with your last sentence.

I was irritated by a few other posts suggesting that just by being around women men's brains suddenly became incapable to think about anything else but sex, bringing up rape completely out of the blue - rape is not motivated by sexual arousal itself and it had nothing to do with this discussion.

Also some of the explicit posts here would be better suited in the Adult section, especially since hurtloam expressed discomfort with that side of things.

Peace - I know you're struggling and didn't mean to make you feel worse.

^Hello fellow dinosaur

As you age it gets harder and harder to meet people of the opposite sex so work can't be ruled out especially in

something like retail (where employers don't mind).

^Hello fellow dinosaur