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Amity
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09 Sep 2018, 3:22 am

What do you do to be well in the broadest sense of the term?

What in particular has worked to help your head?



kraftiekortie
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09 Sep 2018, 8:40 am

I try to indulge in my interests, while also fulfilling my responsibilities.

What makes me feel good is being successful in balancing the two things.

Sometimes I screw up. I can usually fix what I screwed up, though. It’s no good when somebody just criticized, and doesn’t listen.



Amity
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09 Sep 2018, 3:33 pm

Hi Kraftie, my thinking is that this balance helps you to be stable.

Feedback is more useful than criticism, it's unfortunate that you have that negative experience in your life.

I want to understand how men look after themselves, I know here in Ireland sport and exercise play the main role in helping that mind-body wellness.

Stability/health are attractive in any person... I'm wondering if there are ways to support autistic men to achieve this.



HighLlama
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09 Sep 2018, 3:57 pm

Amity wrote:
What do you do to be well in the broadest sense of the term?

What in particular has worked to help your head?


Recently, I started spending at least 15 minutes each day by naming my emotions, and accepting them. I will also do this during the day in situations where I feel anxiety. This has helped tremendously with starting to find some calm, to think more clearly, and enjoy life much more than I have in many years.

I also make sure I spend enough time outside and push myself more to be around people. I didn't realize how lonely I was until I started doing the emotion work described above.



Fnord
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09 Sep 2018, 3:58 pm

Walk, bicycle, and consume meat only three times each week.


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QuantumChemist
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09 Sep 2018, 4:56 pm

I spend on average between one to two hours a day just walking and thinking about things. This process helps clear my head of needless worries, so that I can concentrate on the important details of life. I do not work out in a regular gym due to severe body shaming that others have done to me in the past. I probably should, but I just cannot break that phobia yet. My back and legs are extremely strong, arms not so much.

Because of my allergies, I am on a restricted diet (no eggs, no fish, no rice, no MSG, etc.) that many would not like. I also do not use drugs (legal or illegal) nor consume alcohol (severely allergic to that one). The only medication that I use is flavored calcium carbonate (generic Tums, for upset stomach), Pepto-Bismol (for occasional acid reflux issues) and baby aspirin (for heart health).

Also, no coffee for me. I have never liked the flavor of it. Many people just do not understand how I can get up early without needing a cup (or more) of it to be mentally awake.



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09 Sep 2018, 5:41 pm

One I can agree with is being passionate about any hobbies or occupation, drive and motivation, staying in physically fit shape. Cliche, but it's all good.

However, I do think that young men are "set up" in a way by society to over-focus on getting a woman, whether to just sleep with her or be her partner. I don't want to get too complex into it here, it's very nuanced and there are many factors of this epidemic-like ideal.



TheSpectrum
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09 Sep 2018, 5:52 pm

Being in a healthier state of body and mind has greatly improved my "eligibility" if we're keeping this relative to L&D. Not gonna lie. The following play a big role in one's wellbeing IMO:

-Stable routine, sleep patterns, eating patterns.
-Not indulging at any point as a result of negative emotion of cognitive thought processes. Whether it's a chocolate bar, binge-watching a show, drink, whatever it is. Do it by moderated choice in and only part of the routine you've mapped out.
-Porn. Avoid it, period.
-Exercise as set times - could even be just walking.
-Remove many unnecessary items from your meat/veg dishes and drinks where you can e.g. sugars, calories, fats, carbs.
-Take time to talk to at least one person a day. Not just about your favourite topics. Ask some questions to learn.
-Find something small that you can count as a success each day. Could even be doing any of the above.

Take any of that how you will, by the bucket or with a pinch of salt. Entirely up to you. :)
I've made similar changes (if not most/all listed) and I'm in a very stable, happy relationship with someone I once thought was way out of my league.


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nick007
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09 Sep 2018, 7:47 pm

What helped my head is analyzing why my 1st two relationships fell apart. Taking responsibility for my faults & then analyzing why I have those faults. Then researching meds to treat some of my issues & getting on some meds.


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goldfish21
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09 Sep 2018, 9:58 pm

Focusing on digestive health.

Digestive health = mental/neurological health.

The enteric nervous system controls a lot more of the head than the head does. There are more signals sent from the gut to the brain up the vagus nerve than the other way around.


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goldfish21
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09 Sep 2018, 10:17 pm

Amity wrote:
I know here in Ireland sport and exercise play the main role in helping that mind-body wellness.

Stability/health are attractive in any person... I'm wondering if there are ways to support autistic men to achieve this.


Diet & exercise apply to humans all over the globe. The thing with autistic men is that they've got to want to do these things for themselves & their goals for their personal reasons. Maybe they want camaraderie with teammates? Maybe they want to attract a girlfriend? Maybe they just went to be fit and healthy? Maybe they want their brains and bodies to function better? Maybe they want to ward off depression/anxiety? etc. Whatever the reason, if it's not the autistic man's goal/reason, chances are he's not going to do anything. It doesn't matter how much logical, rational, sense it might make for him to diet and exercise - autistic men are super humanly stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something he's Not going to do it. He may even agree that it's a good idea and that he should do it, but then the follow through is almost never there and he won't ever get started or make it a part of his routine.. unless he really wants to.

The trick is to find out what he's motivated by and then push those buttons and let it be "his," decision to do things for himself and "his," reason(s). That is, if you can figure out how to gently sell him on the idea.

For myself, someone I had a crush on and really respect told me what kind of physical fitness level they're attracted to in a guy and my thought process was something like, "Well, I want to attract you or someone like you, so, I'll get in shape." Also, I did it & do it for brain function. (Reminds me, I really should go for a run later this week.) I do it for other things, too, like functional strength, self defence/protecting others.. oh, and because I like hooking up with 21 year olds and I don't have a Million dollars. :mrgreen:


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HighLlama
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10 Sep 2018, 1:22 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
-Porn. Avoid it, period.


Cannot be said enough. The internet, in general, is not your friend.



Amity
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10 Sep 2018, 4:09 pm

I find these practices attractive in people, not sure why that is exactly, I guess it's an indication of self awareness and self care.
Most people don't have perfect health, but regardless of conditions, forming habits and routines to care for yourself is for some reason appealing.



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10 Sep 2018, 10:22 pm

HighLlama wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
-Porn. Avoid it, period.


Cannot be said enough. The internet, in general, is not your friend.


The case against porn has some point there. And yet, everyone else just says it's normal and we are called prudes just for even suggesting a point.



HighLlama
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11 Sep 2018, 4:39 am

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
-Porn. Avoid it, period.


Cannot be said enough. The internet, in general, is not your friend.


The case against porn has some point there. And yet, everyone else just says it's normal and we are called prudes just for even suggesting a point.


I think those people equate sex with porn, unfortunately. For me, the argument definitely isn't against things people do in porn. Whatever consenting adults want to do is fine. But, I've seen in myself where porn makes you very detached. You're just an observer of something fake. It's extremely unfulfilling, and makes you feel very empty. It also cuts you off from your imagination. Masturbating to your own fantasies seems way healthier. People will do anything to avoid real communication, which is what real sex is. And masturbating with just internal fantasy is communication with yourself.



RetroGamer87
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17 Sep 2018, 1:39 am

I stopped eating most of my favourite foods so I don't get fat again :(


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