Confused about this guy

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So I met this guy on Grindr twice now for two long dates. We seem to be very similar to each other, both jobless, both have aspergers syndrome and we are both looking for a boyfriend etc. I've only known him a week and I have never been into anyone so quickly before. It just felt right. He is a virgin if that matters.

We keep texting but it's been about 5 days now of both me and him asking to meet up and he keeps on canceling, just saying he is tired or depressed. It wouldn't bother me except that he is on Grindr almost all day long. Why? We were going to meet up tonight but he again told me he was too tired and said "maybe tomorrow". So I asked him if he still liked me and he said of course.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I've had this sort of thing happen before with a girl and she turned out to be lying and she was actually in another relationship. He is on antidepressants which I know make you tired but so am I and I would still meet up. I'm already so into him so if it's not real then I want to end it as fast as possible before I get even more attached.

Yeah, I get the idea of getting obsessed with new friends easily. That got me into quite a lot of trouble, before I quit bothering with it. This takes time, though, but it's not my suggestion for you.

Obviously, the first order of business is for you to figure out if it's you or him that's causing this reaction he has. It could be one of those slow-motion ghosting things (bad). I always assumed that if the other person was Aspie then they would implicitly know that Aspies don't deal with coded messages and only work well with direct communication. Don't count on that assumption being right.

You wrote that you already had two long dates, so I'm not sure if his reaction is shyness around the area of sex. That makes the virgin part important. So I wonder what you did on those two long dates. If it started out platonic then I don't see what the problem is other than a breakdown in communication. But then again it was grindr, which so far as I can tell is not a place one goes to for long-lasting, platonic friendships. Exceptions occur, of course, but is it possible your eagerness for friendship is at cross purposes to his intentions?

I ended up asking more questions than I answered, but maybe this will help.

It's more than platonic. He is pretty shy around sex but I am more so. We still did quite a bit. He put on Grindr he is looking for a boyfriend. I think either he is confused as to what he actually wants or he thinks he can do better than me. I don't think he is trying to convey a message to me I think he maybe just doesn't have the courage to say he doesn't like me. Because I probably wouldnt. But he still initiated conversation a few times so

Well then I think you have to take the message at face value. As you indicated, it could be a mistake to become obsessed with the guy, which is something we Aspies tend to do with prospective friends. It's a very difficult habit to break. I find myself starting to go down that road and have to stop myself from time to time. It probably took me 40 years to stop being a disaster magnet all the time.