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EyeDash
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18 Sep 2018, 4:59 pm

Anosognosia is a good topic. I definitely used to be in steely strong denial about my autism and truly thought that most people were deeply flawed: giving so much weight to feelings that they made horrendous life choices, caring so much about relationships that they failed to achieve academically or at work, being preoccupied with social nonsense, TV and music personalities and watching sports or car races or the like. I did see myself as being superior (I’m intelligent) and I blamed others for behaving in ways that seemed to make it more difficult for me to interact with them or to socialize. I really had a dim view of people and I saw animals (who I could better relate to) as being more virtuous than humans. I was very successful professionally, but my social life was dismal, my friendships few, and my marriages ended badly. I had a bad case of seeing myself alternately as being very superior to others versus being a complete loser.
How I got to that point was that I got mainstreamed in school and it was not OK to ever talk about the program for kids with developmental problems I had been in for a year, not OK to act differently, not OK to draw attention to myself much less get into trouble. Things happened such that I wound up with PTSD and for ages I couldn’t acknowledge my autism and alexithymia, although therapists would always end up pointing it out at some point. So I couldn’t accept my disability for ages and instead I projected my difficulties onto others. It took until I was in my late 50s to eventually process the memories of my autism diagnosis and my mom’s horrified reaction to that, and to understand just what it meant: that I’m mentally and emotionally different with impairments in social interaction and big differences in how I think and communicate. I had to review most of my life experiences and do a lot of forgiving of myself and NTs. And I had to let go of certain cherished dreams that I had. But I now am able to build more honest relationships with people and I better understand my strengths and weaknesses without being such a hater. So when I see some folks on WrongPlanet who seem to think that it is NTs who have the problem and take suggestions for managing interactions better as being demeaning, I can relate to that and I want to help them through it. But I can only make gentle suggestions. Blaming others for our problems isn’t limited to autistics after all… One blessing that has come out of it is that I now see NTs sort of as generally good-hearted but sometimes odd critters who do this social thing that I can’t quite flow with but which can be endearing anyway. Sort of like a bunch of parrots chirping and squawking at each other, preening their plumage, flapping wings, fluffing feathers…



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18 Sep 2018, 5:25 pm

This doesn't apply to me. I know I'm different and probably have been all my life.



Arevelion
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18 Sep 2018, 6:03 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Anosognosia is a concept I first became aware of in literature about dementias. The word means a condition in which you are unaware that you have a disability. Sometimes, a person with dementia has no insight into their own mental decline, and therefore believe their relatives are just trying to "put them away," maybe to get control of the person's money or just to be rid of them. (This is NOT true of ALL people with dementia.)

I do see a few people at WP who seem to think there is no social skills deficit in them, and the "problem" is in everybody else in the world. Typically these are the folks who don't feel they should adapt or change because it's all NT's problem, not theirs. They can name and diagnose the problem all those NTs have (typically named as an expletive). If you suggest anything the individual could do to manage a situation better, these people reject the suggestion or even take it as evidence that you are demeaning them.

Can you see this in posters here? Do you think it might even be true of yourself? (hint: if you think you may have anosognosia, you probably don't!)


It's hard for me to judge how disabled people are through this forum, therefore making it equally hard to know how severe their anosognosia is. What I do know is that in general people, disabled or not, have trouble knowing their true condition. It's like trying to know what your own face looks like without a mirror. It's why it pays to have people you can trust tell you.



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18 Sep 2018, 7:05 pm

Arevelion wrote:
It's hard for me to judge how disabled people are through this forum, therefore making it equally hard to know how severe their anosognosia is. What I do know is that in general people, disabled or not, have trouble knowing their true condition. It's like trying to know what your own face looks like without a mirror. It's why it pays to have people you can trust tell you.

This is exactly why I sought a professional diagnosis, once it dawned on me that I might have autism. I am all too aware how easily we can trick ourselves - a universal human tendency. This is not to put down those who feel they don't need the formal diagnosis. It's just that I wanted to know if I met diagnostic criteria, without the confusion of wondering whether I was biasing my own conclusions.


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18 Sep 2018, 7:15 pm

Arevelion wrote:
It's hard for me to judge how disabled people are through this forum, therefore making it equally hard to know how severe their anosognosia is. What I do know is that in general people, disabled or not, have trouble knowing their true condition. It's like trying to know what your own face looks like without a mirror. It's why it pays to have people you can trust tell you.


And even with a mirror, you don't know what you look like due to the inversion of the image.

I also wonder, Bea and others, what is anosognosia and what is just a coping mechanism to keep from dealing with an overwhelming problem. Is the problem that I can't see/understand what I am doing or is the problem that I can't face it and so keep denying it to the point I don't even know it is there? Is it a skill one could improve upon, like OT or speech makes improvements in ability? If one could improve on this skill, would it be worth the effort?

To your original question, Bea, there do certainly be posters on the forum who are "stuck" in one spot and can't seem to get off it in spite of encouragement and suggestions. But does that mean they actually can't see the problem? Or it is too scary? Or they don't have the skills? Sometimes, the only thing you can do is tread water....

:heart: All the I's and you's and they's are editorial and do not refer to anyone in specific. They are generalities. :heart:


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BeaArthur
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18 Sep 2018, 11:09 pm

I tried to answer your post, blazingstar, but my brain is fried and I guess that means it's bedtime!


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19 Sep 2018, 7:45 am

Happens to me all the time! :D


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22 Sep 2018, 8:15 am

I've seen this kinda behavior in my brother who is bipolar and had a long run of not taking responsibility for his actions. I don't like people very much but even I do realize that I have an issue.



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22 Sep 2018, 10:41 am

EyeDash wrote:
I did see myself as being superior (I’m intelligent) and I blamed others for behaving in ways that seemed to make it more difficult for me to interact with them or to socialize. I really had a dim view of people and I saw animals (who I could better relate to) as being more virtuous than humans. I was very successful professionally, but my social life was dismal, my friendships few, and my marriages ended badly. I had a bad case of seeing myself alternately as being very superior to others versus being a complete loser.


Get out of my mirror!


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23 Sep 2018, 10:09 am

I noticed that in some other posters. There was a time that it kind of applied to me. I was very frustrated with life & with others for treating me badly like bullying me physically & using/taking advantage of me. I got tired of being told my whole life how everything was my fault & I started placing the blame on society.


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