Kavanaugh Victim #4

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I'm so sorry to hear that Ezra. I didn't realise that you had also withstood a terrible attack. I think it is more important that we support one another as best we can than argue politics. Our healing is paramount.

I'm over it now. The memory is more like a bad dream I had. But I remember where it was out in front of a house I hadn't been to very often, but I know who's house it was and that it was in green valley and that it was in 2008 during summer break but before my 9th birthday in august. I remember who was at the house and the number of people. How I got there, how I got to the hospital to get sedated. It's easy to remember when stuff happened as a kid because I know how old I was at the time and what grade I was in. I have a bad memory in general. But things out of the ordinary stand out.

In case anyone is wondering what happened, I had managed to get outside and was on the sidewalk staring at hole in a tree that had a spider's web inside it doing the hyperfocus thing, when someone behind me smacked my face into the tree and then I was wrestled to the ground. Two kids pinned me down while the third tried to make me eat a dirt clod while one of the kids on top of me was pushing the side of face into the dirt. He finally pinched my nose shut so I had to open my mouth to breathe and in went the dirt clod. Then they ran off just as everyone was coming out of the house because I was hollering so loudly. They were laughing their asses off the whole time. I'd say they were between 13 and 14 years old.

I am sorry for all the people here and elsewhere who have been triggered by the constant news about the Kavanaugh conformation process. Despite the bastardization of the concept by SJW’s triggering is very real and very distressful for people.

I was randomly assaulted resulting in a broken arm. I remember it was 2012 and where it occurred not what date it occurred. I was mugged twice in the 80’s with much less consequences. I remember where I was not what year it happened. I remember Keg parties were a big thing we had them right in the hallways of my dorm. I can not tell you for the life of me when they occurred or who was at parties I attended in the 1970s and 1980s. You have have to take people saying I was at this party with Kavanagh and Ford and Kavanaugh did this to Ford on this date in 1982 with a big grain of salt. Also these people were often drunk out of thier minds.

Memories are odd. I only know the date of one of the terrible assaults against me as there was a national tragedy the next day and many lives were lost. I can remember thinking at the time "I wonder why I don't feel anything". I was deeply traumatised and in shock but I didn't realise that. Nearly 35 years later I reported it to the police (after masses of therapy) but they dropped the investigation after several months as even though I had reported who the people involved were, and went though the awful process of doing a complete witness statement, and the police interviewed most of the assailants,) they decided that they wouldn't get a conviction so it was best to close the case. I was devastated by that. It probably would have been better for me not to have reported it all. However, I do have to say that another almost 15 years have passed and the wounds are healed to a remarkable extent, and I can write this without feeling shameful, guilt ridden and ugly. It is a very long journey.

Yes this has stirred up a lot of stuff, and it has shown me how far I have come in my survival. I feel a deep deep anger when I hear the 'boys will be boys' excuse. They have no idea.

Anyway I won't get worked up again. Cheers to all the survivors - we rock!! !!

You should take heart in your bravery in coming forward to the police, even if they couldn't make anything of the charges. If the people involved are ever investigated for another sex crime, this investigation should come up in their police records so there will be a record that someone else sought charges for a sex assault against them and that could help with further investigations/trials. It matters that you went on record and told your truth.