Support Groups in Person

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Ever attend an Aspie support group in person? What was your experience like?

I went to one and loved it. It was immediate validation for me to be face to face with other adults who were autistic. There were men and women. It was the first time I ever met another aspie face to face. It made me realize that aside from the support group I would never meet another autistic adult in my normal life. Its not like they announce their diagnosis to the world. I felt the women were passive like me and very feminine and the men were very matter of fact and all about their nerdy activities (which was fine). There were non autistic people who attended for their own narcissistic and obnoxious reasons (to brag about themselves and their careers). They were disruptive in my opinion. I cannot relate to neurotypical people, or people who do not have severe conversational limitations like i have.

I never had but I think I would really enjoy such a thing. How did you find out about the group in your area?

How did you know some people were NT?

It is a different experience, interacting with other autistic people face to face in a structured and supportive environment.

I found out about the group by googling Autism Support Groups in my neighborhood.

I can tell by the way they interact (they are arrogant) and they told everyone they were not autistic.

I like support groups. For me is good to observe other aspies. I meet on some groups people, where I have doubts about their ASD.

Especially one boy. He can talk with other people without problems, he is very social, he has friends, he likes to go to the pub with them... I would not know it. Maybe I do not know him well.

I met one girl. She came to me arrogant and unpleasant, AS is for her part of her image... Maybe it is her sign of ASD how unpleasant for me she is, I don't know.

Other girl - I would say she is like the boy. It is not so visible on her. She is very social, has her friends... But it seems to me that I can live with it better than she. I looks like I have more severe AS than she, but it has more impact on her. And that's really a mystery to me, how it's possible.

Sometimes I meet those who are my exact opposite. They are very social, can not be silent for a while.

It is amazing how everybody is different.

I can relate to feeling flustered and even angry to be honest, when meeting or interacting with someone who says they are autistic and they talk about their lives in a way that seems very neurotypical or like they really don't have a problem. Most adult autistics have serious mental, physical and personal issues as a result of their disability. I would prefer talking to people I can relate to then not. If I wanted to talk to a NT I would do so.

I came away with an unfavorable impression of an "ASD Support Group" at a local university.

• One man refused to speak to anyone except in the softest of whispers. When encouraged to speak up, he began shouting and calling the rest of us "a$$holes" and other profane labels. Then he ran out of the room.

• One woman complained that every man she met was thinking about having sex with her. When asked how she knew this, she replied "I just know".

• One man appended every one else's testimony with a segue into his own "Nobody likes me" speech. He had to be told multiple times to wait his turn, but whenever it became his turn to speak, he had nothing to say.

• One man wanted to do a frame-by-frame recap of the most recent episode of his favorite anime series ("Evangelion", or something like that). He spoke about nothing else.

• One woman wanted to talk only about her sister who was so pretty, so smart, so popular, and so much "better" than she in every way that she felt worthless. Of course, she blamed her sister for making her feel this way.

• Finally, a facilitator who was introduced as a psychologist, but who was actually only a third-year undergraduate working on his practicum credits. He mostly read responses from his classroom notes on the "Empathy Model".

• And then there was me. Even though my ASD had been confirmed by no less than 4 PhD-level psychologists at that same university, nearly everyone there accused me of faking it "just to make us feel bad" (as the "Nobody Likes Me" man put it).

I never went back.

Ahh...

"Aspies are never arrogant" + "People never lie" + "I believe it, so it must be true".