When NT's complain about rejection, anxiety, awkwardness...

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a true friend is someone, who will be there for u. even if its only chat experience. someone, who will put an effort to understanding u. and then, launch an attack at ur deepest horrors and defeat them. someone who will not be grossed out, or weirded out. someone who is ready to be around u when everybody else is not. and ya, they will know when to push u and when to not. sometimes u need pushing, yep. but u gotta be open for it. if u shell all the way up, if u leave no opening, they wont be able to become ur friends. there allways is a risk, every time, but its a risk one has to take, if one wants to have friends)

I totally agree with you, but sadly, it's actually hard to recognize when you're the one who refuses to open up or is it the other person.
In general, life is complicated

with time, u learn to recognize cues. if u watch for them. i've written a few walls of text around here on the topic. of cause its all only my take and experience, but i think i can pretty much trust a few people with as much as my deepest insecurities. still i often want to be cued, asked. and at another time i want to be given space. and even closest people dont guess every time xD because ya, i am chaotic, unstable and damaged. but they do put up with it and try again. this is what makes them friends.

Thank you for your advice

I'm glad you have people that stand by you no matter what Cherish them!

i so do!
and i tell them so^^

Hello. What I think about this specific topic will be discussed in my own experience.

I don't know about NT's. I also can't imagine what it would like to be a NT. However, I imagine their loneliness is valid, although some of them might be faking it, just as people suggested. I think that generalising such a wide range of individuals is prone to errors. Such as you can't find an equal person with ASD, you can't find an equal NT.

I feel lonely because I want a friend to do things together, like playing computer games, or watch anime, or to recommend books with. People talk about others a lot in a prosucuting way, but I don't thing about such things ever, so I get surprised. I think I'm too innocent of a person. Because I'm too innocent, I was constantly being bullied in school. Now, being an university student, I don't face too many challenges, but... it's still complicated. I wanted friends to study japanese with. I have japanese acquaintances but I'm always awkward with them, I even lost a friend because of that and it made me feel melancholic. Japanese people want to drink coffe with me and such things, and want that I teach my language to them, but I don't feel too comfortable eating with people. People always multitask, but I can't focus on many things at the same time, such as eating, speaking and teaching. I'm prone to making mistakes that way, so I feel anxious in that state. I'd rather eat alone. I sometimes want to hug someone. No, I really want to hug certain people, but that's socially unacceptable. People always get the wrong idea... why? Because of that, I only hug my plushies. However, I don't want any other intimacy, I don't really understand other types of intimacy. I feel lonely because I have to mask my true emotions, or, when I'm feeling emotions truly, I must amplify their outwardly. I feel lonely because going outside hurts my eyes and I want to talk with people inside buildings, and eventually I feel bad about such requests, so I go outside. I'm a woman, but I feel unconfortable around most women, but not all of them. It's because I feel that they are the most complex to understand. I can't really emphasize with them. I like to make friends with boys, but I fear that they might feel feelings for me, because that thing that people call "romantic love" (or, better said, the love that is experienced by most people in a way I can't understand fully), is something I can't really get. I wanted to know what to speak about, but when I speak, I always become confused how I should continue with the conversation. Seing people seminude makes me feel very unconfortable, so I can't go to the beach. I can't stand when people talk about babies, it runs my stomack. I hate it when people push intimacy in me I can't understand. I feel that, as for such things, you should only do with family. However, in my country you have to kiss people on the cheek, and I dread it. Why is it that you must eat with fork and knife? I am learning to do it being 20 years old, but I wanted to continue eating with only fork. I don't understand why women should wear make-up and I don't do it, but people are always projecting their ideas based on appearance. I hardly do it. I just want to wear what I feel like, something simple, but I can't. Why is the world so complicated? I want to go outside and be independent and to travel the world, but since I'm too socially inept, that would probably be difficult. I can still function, but... I'm mostly unspoken, since I really have nothing that most people would find interesting. I don't really know much about the world that runs around me, and I'm not really interested, either. However, if I was to say such things, people would bully me again, wouldn't them?

I want friends, but although I am a caring person, being overly polite and all, making friends also makes me feel uncomfortable. People are very complex structures. Many people speak loudly and I personally find it offensive. I don't understand why people curse all the time. When I hear curses, or seeing people being cursed, even if that's a friendship way of showing affection, I can't stand hearing it, even knowing it's not directed at me. I wanted people to be more friendly towards each other. I just don't understand it at all...

Because of that, and also because I lose time doing the things I like, such as playing games and such, I can only function having a friend. I want to cherish that friend that has the same interests and do things together. Although I know I have people that care for me, such as my family, I only have a friend that I talk with in real life, but I made that friend recently and I'm scared I will do mistakes such as with my japanese friend.

Making friends and knowing how to keep a friendship is a mystery to me. That is why when people say they are lonely, I think that they are lucky because they instinctively know how to connect with others functionally correctly. I don't understand why people that have friends want to have lovers, or to have more friends than one friend. I don't understand how people can hurt others and don't feel a thing. I don't understand how people can keep with a lot of things going around. I don't understand a lot of things, but I'm not prosecuting them, it's just, I feel that even if you are not in ASD, all people suffer in their own way, so my opinion is that people shouldn't judge others in such an incognizant way. Since I can't imagine what it would like to be in their shoes, I can't say much about it, and I don't think I have the right to judge them either. If I only had one special friend (or, better said, knew how to properly get closer to that special friend, and wouldn't feel anxious), I think I would be happier. I think.

u sound lots like a very young me. hope u fare better though. as to anxiety, it allways be there. part of our nature. sorry if i am not helping right now.

Thank you.

I've been doing okay.

Even though I'm NT, I sympathize very much with you, because you seem like a kind and humble person
I really, really, really hope you'll find a true friend one day

NTs aren't perfect, most will run into awkwardness or social anxiety sometimes, when they complain about it I just relate to them.

Personally, I try to always remind myself that, just because one person has a harder time than another, does not make either of their troubles invalid. You will never know exactly what it is like to be anyone but yourself. Everyone, NT, autistic, or whatever is completely different. That being said, I do find myself getting a little frustrated seeing complaints on social media from people talking about their struggles, saying they have no one to talk to, joking about not having friends, etc. It is frustrating to see, because I feel like it is a mockery of everything I deal with every day.

When someone posts something like "oh if only I had friends" and there are 20 comments of people saying they care, with meaningful messages and loved ones saying to talk to them if they need it. it kinda hurts. I purposefully don't put out all of my depressing thoughts of every waking day, not only because that is annoying, but because I know I will only be disappointing by the result of no one caring.

As frustrating as these things can be, I know everyone can struggle, from any circumstance. I try my best to always keep in mind that my struggles do not make anyone else is better. Furthermore, I do not agree with comparing anyone's life to another, because again, you will never understand what it is like to be anyone else but yourself.

I do understand forced isolation/loneliness that some NT'S do go through from time to time,but it's nothing like it is for a Aspie person,where a vast majority if not all of the non Aspie/Autstic population is judging him/her becasue of their differences and being bullied becasue of those difference. Apsies often time also get treated like children becasue of differences.NT'S,including the one's who go through loneliness) would never understand how it's like be talked down to becasue of differences.They don't know what's it's like not be hired on a job due to differences.Like I said before,NT people,including the most weird and introverted NT's that have no friends should be grateful that they don't have to worry about the the things that Aspies have to worry about each and every single day.

Hmmm, I think I can understand feeling annoyed by people who apparently do have lots of friends (or at least friendly acquaintances) complaining about a lack of friends (if you don't even have any friendly acquaintances). However ....

Lots of different kinds of people get talked down to because of various differences. For example, there are all too many men who routinely talk down to women (although this is less common now than it used to be). It is also not uncommon for well-to-do people to talk down to poor people (insofar as they deign to talk to poor people at all), or for people of ethnic majorities to talk down to people of ethnic minorities.

And, yes, lots of different kinds of people (e.g. gender-nonconforming people, older people, physically unattractive people) have to worry about not being hired for a job because of whatever difference.

Also, aspies/autistics aren't the only people who lack social skills; autism is defined by more traits than just a lack of social skills. (On the other hand, even with under-developed social skills, some aspies/autistics get lucky and do manage to make friends.)

Ok, this is where I may struggle with sympathy.

I don't consider myself to be uncaring. I don't think I am.
I also certainly don't think I've "cornered the market" on suffering because I know that's not true either.
I also don't believe I can judge the level of someone else's suffering because that's not possible.

Like many here though, I've experienced sustained and intense emotional suffering in different intensities throughout my life. I have to admit that because of that, when someone seems to be complaining about some issue they're experiencing that I perceive to be minor compared to what I feel I've endured, I don't find that I have sympathy for them. I'm thinking: "Yeah? Try being me sometime..."

I know that's not right to think that way. And by thinking that way, I realize that I'm thinking or being those three things I listed above.

It's one of my shortcomings.

Among the general American population, drug overdose deaths are up 21.5%, and suicides are up 25% (in some states, 30%). Measures of subjective well-being declined in nearly half of the states, and no states showed a significant increase; the most precipitous drop in well-being on record.
Everyone is suffering. And yet suffering can be intensely personal; we all experience suffering in our own way. This is why there is no valid way for me to judge another person's suffering against mine. Just because your struggle is different than mine doesn't invalidate the pain we are both experiencing. Regardless of our differences, we're all suffering. Rather than allowing this to divide us versus them, perhaps in our collective pain we can see our shared humanity, and learn to take compassion on one another instead.
Be kind, for others are fighting a hard battle, too.

Pain is relative. Sometimes that cheerleader who just got dumped, and lost their core group of friends is really in pain. You can choose to hate them for it, or judge them, thinking they got it easy.... but In my experience, judging and hate never helped me all that much. Though more often then not, what turns "people i know" into real friends (People who will go through hell for you), is listening to them and sharing my experience with what they are dealing with. NT's suck at this. They rather compare pain. The simple act of sharing how you got through your's means just as much as it would to you if they did the same thing. The friends i bonded with that.... I don't have to try to be their friend, they accept that i'm differn't and weird. They make an attempt to understand me and watch out for me. It's differn't then other acquaintances where i often have to use a mask to fit in. Though i totally hear you. I get frustrated by it all the time as well.