Will I always be told "I have a boyfriend."?

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Something to think about... I think you should stay, though.

Something I don’t mention that often are my current struggles. I’ve mentioned before that I’m having a hard time in the music biz right now. But it’s not something I dwell on. I do have problems in my marriage, but I don’t really talk about it much.

You find that when things are going well, it only takes ONE tiny little thing to ruin your day. Why is that? So I quit giving voice to those problems. If my wife doesn’t feel like being intimate with me, I scratch her back and give her a massage. Maybe I don’t get what I want, but at least I’m not so repulsive she won’t let me put my hands on her at all. My career sucks right now, but so what? I have no control over that. So I focus on the small victories. I’ve got a clarinet and a flute student that show some crazy potential. I’m premiering a clarinet duet with a friend of mine at a church I DON’T regularly attend. I’m coming down with plantar fasciitis and shin splints and can’t afford new shoes yet, plus my wife didn’t train yesterday because of a mild knee injury. So freakin what? I focused on adjusting my gait and posture, mostly avoided stressing my shins by moving some of my weight to my knees, and got through a 5 mile pace run not nearly as worn out as I expected. In fact, by my next pace run I might be able to push myself a little harder.

People want to say offensive things like don’t be a [cat] and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and it’s not very helpful. I think they say those things because their own struggles are no different than yours or mine. I think probably the majority of folks really are depressed and don’t admit it. And I think that’s because it doesn’t do any good to admit it. If everyone is depressed, the last thing they want to hear is how bad someone else’s life is. People get excited over good news. And the happiest people out there aren’t overly concerned with the bad things that happen. If they have control over it, they fix it and move on with life. If not, what difference does it really make, anyway? So they move on with life.

You’ve got a lot of good things going for you. You always get our attention. That should count for something. So just work on keeping on the bright side of life. That would be a good start.

I struggle with being patient because it just doesn't come naturally to me. My brain feels like a goal should be accomplished soon after it is decided on and when it isn't met soon after I decide on it, I feel like I am making a mistake because no one else seems to go through what I do.

I feel like it bulldozed over me when I didn't see it coming.

Time to stand back up then.

You're now at an age where you have more life experience. Don't argue. You do. You now know what you don't want. That is a place to start from and develop your own goals and your own life.

Please let us help you if you continue believing that you will never find someone to love.

If you do find someone and you feel confident enough, just remember:

-Let the relationship develop at its own pace. If you meet a girl and come on as too strong to her, she may view you as desperate, creepy, or anything similar.

(Of course, you are not a creepy person. Being on the spectrum is just a part of your essence and be open about it to her as much as you can. If a girl you meet rejects you just because you're on the spectrum, forget about her and let us continue helping you.)

-Compliment her. Say the compliment as normal as you can. Girls like guys who have self-confidence instead of an ego.

(Of course, you are not a selfish person. Let us help you gain more self-confidence which in turn, could help you meet a girl who understands you and you understand her.)

-Make her laugh or smile. Girls like guys who know how to make her feel good.

-Be a sincere person.

-Show her that you truly care about her. Show her that you're serious about her instead of lusting after her because girls (again) may view you as desperate, creepy, or anything similar. Ask a girl you meet about herself. Talk to her instead of trying to kiss her.

-Never compliment a girl about her physical appearance except maybe her eyes, smile, or her hair. Even better, compliment a girl about her personality or her laugh. However, NEVER compliment a girl in a sexual manner.

-Learn how to break what is known as the "touch barrier." When you feel like you understand a girl well enough, touch her in areas that to her are not dangerous such as her back, shoulders, or even her hands.

-Be happy for her whenever she does something great or whenever she feels bad about something, try to understand her feelings and try to tell her that you want to make her feel better.

I do get told to work on myself but some, even the ones who tell me I need to work on myself, have told me there isn't anything wrong with me. I find being told those things at the same time to be very confusing.

Yeah I know I get the same listed messages.

What do you want to do that would improve your life in a non relationship specific way? Work on that.

Today I made a budget and I think I can pay my credit card off by April 2019. That my current thing I'm working on.

I'm trying to be more confident too... That's going so so.

I honestly can't set goals for myself. It doesn't come naturally for me at all.

I'm not a natural goal setter either. It's something I've had to work on. I'm quite bad at starting things and not finishing them as well.

My health is my big issue. I've actually got lots of ideas for things I want to do, but I'm really ill at the moment. I was going to paint a picture this weekend, but I've had a sore throat and just been exhausted so I've been binge watching Better Call Saul.

I may set a goal to read more instead of just watching tv. I've always wanted to read Far from the Madding Crowd. It's not like I lack the time.

My nect goal is artistic. Actually you helped with this talking about art. It made me think about just how long it's been since I did any art. I've got a big box full of paint and pastels and pencils and canvases and paper. I have no excuse, other than being completely exhausted

xxZeromancerlovexx, are you single?

Why don't you and Marknis try dating?

I was thinking the same thing. I think there might be a question of distance, though.

Where is she based?

In any case, his problem has been solved.

No, a solution has been suggested. The problem itself still exists.

It seems like a good idea.

I think a bright and happy future is on the horizon.