Will I always be told "I have a boyfriend."?

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Sometimes—not ALWAYS, but sometimes—the crowd happens to be right. I believe in walking my own path. It happens to intersect with the crowd sometimes, but it is MY path. I’d be lying if I told you my path didn’t come at a cost. There’s a price to be paid for going your own way. The question is whether or not it was worth it.

Some would say it’s always worth it. While you’re working at the library, go check out The Fountainhead.

I guess because we’re different, the way we’re raising our children makes them really stand out at school. My oldest two are not necessarily the popular kids. But I’m teaching my daughter how to navigate politics so she can spin her uniqueness in into something more influential. My oldest isn’t really cut out for school, and he’s in a class full of girls. So I’m teaching him about how to navigate the sea of hormones that is 6th grade. He is musically very gifted, so I’m hoping to steer him in a direction that will see him more successful than I ever was.

My youngest...well, he’s unique and well-liked.

There are ways of celebrating and exploiting uniqueness, going our own way while persuading the crowd to follow us rather than the other way around. Believe me. In hindsight, I see that following the crowd would have been easier...

...but then again...I do like the life I have. So maybe it was worth it after all.

I agree with superaliengirl. She has a lot of good advice. You need to start taking responsibility for yourself. If you don't take responsibility for yourself, you're going to find yourself exactly where you are now, in five years. I also didn't notice her telling you to stop being a p**** and snap the bleep out of it. People here are trying to help you, but you keep twisting their words around. We're trying to help you but it's hard when you take things personally.

Read the bolded part. I am not twisting superaliengirl's words. The context of my message was about how the people in the culture I live in are often depressed themselves but are in denial about it and how they treat me poorly.

Sorry. I apologize.

If I could just find the right path, I'd be able to come to terms with my past.

The right path is "F*** the Past!"

The past is over. What happens in the present is all that matters.

I never really learned how to be present because I was always told to "let go and let God" which is one of the most harmful things you can tell someone in their developmental years. People I know still insist to me God has a "plan" for me even when I tell them I no longer worship God.

Now you're focusing on what other people say and think. Forget them. They don't matter. YOU do! Only you can change your life, so stop worrying about the past, stop worrying about what others say, and stop over-thinking your situation! Just follow the advice that Bea and I have given you, and things will get better -- not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but they will get better.

It's all up to YOU.

Whenever my older brother wanted a girlfriend, he could always go out and come home with one. I feel like everyone except me can achieve their goals on the day they make them while I can not.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm about as impressive to the ladies as a baked potato. I can con my manager into thinking I'm a pillar of this place when I barely even know what I'm doing, but I can't seem to get even the tiniest bit of attention from women.

Women run from me like the plague. I guess I am too creepy. I love the song creep by Radiohead it makes me feel like being a creep ain't so bad.

I tried to get into Radiohead but I couldn't.

I don't see women running away from me. They tend to either ignore me or look uninterested when I try talking to them.

Ever tried to talk to completely different demographics of women? Like totally different ethnicities and cultures.

If you are still trying with the same demographic you tried with before your whole
life then you’re wasting your time. Remember my regional tinder experiment? There are whole demographics where one’s looks is totally pariah (zero match out of 100) while for others the same one can be seen as a sex god (70 matches out 100).

Ie. In Germany, Australia, and Turkey I got zero matches - in my own country I almost always get matched with Filipinas, Thais and Indonesians very very rarely with a local; in some other mixed places like in some US states and Canada I only got matched with Asians, Latinas and Africans- in Asian countries I got 70 or 60 of 100 in each, in Morroco I got the same (~70/100) despite them thinking I was Moroccan too; and not only that but most initiated the chat too and tried hard to get to know me. This just to give you an idea how crazily different one’s attractiveness level varies from one community to another; and this seems to be like homogenous “blocks”: either the majority of the whole one community finds you attractive or it doesn’t.

You may be a baked potato to your community, so try a different one.

I am thinking I need to leave this forum again and this time for good. I am losing support and I can't stand seeing certain forum posters anymore. Alliekit also isn't coming back and I think I will only be remembered as the person who posted about his struggles but he could never overcome them.

Yes. Markins, you can't change the world, you can only change how you react to it an interact with it. Don't let it bulldozer over you. Take charge of your own life. Its no ones business, but your own.

Something to think about... I think you should stay, though.

Something I don’t mention that often are my current struggles. I’ve mentioned before that I’m having a hard time in the music biz right now. But it’s not something I dwell on. I do have problems in my marriage, but I don’t really talk about it much.

You find that when things are going well, it only takes ONE tiny little thing to ruin your day. Why is that? So I quit giving voice to those problems. If my wife doesn’t feel like being intimate with me, I scratch her back and give her a massage. Maybe I don’t get what I want, but at least I’m not so repulsive she won’t let me put my hands on her at all. My career sucks right now, but so what? I have no control over that. So I focus on the small victories. I’ve got a clarinet and a flute student that show some crazy potential. I’m premiering a clarinet duet with a friend of mine at a church I DON’T regularly attend. I’m coming down with plantar fasciitis and shin splints and can’t afford new shoes yet, plus my wife didn’t train yesterday because of a mild knee injury. So freakin what? I focused on adjusting my gait and posture, mostly avoided stressing my shins by moving some of my weight to my knees, and got through a 5 mile pace run not nearly as worn out as I expected. In fact, by my next pace run I might be able to push myself a little harder.

People want to say offensive things like don’t be a [cat] and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and it’s not very helpful. I think they say those things because their own struggles are no different than yours or mine. I think probably the majority of folks really are depressed and don’t admit it. And I think that’s because it doesn’t do any good to admit it. If everyone is depressed, the last thing they want to hear is how bad someone else’s life is. People get excited over good news. And the happiest people out there aren’t overly concerned with the bad things that happen. If they have control over it, they fix it and move on with life. If not, what difference does it really make, anyway? So they move on with life.

You’ve got a lot of good things going for you. You always get our attention. That should count for something. So just work on keeping on the bright side of life. That would be a good start.