People Keep Accusing Me Of Things And I don't know why

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This one person claims she is a "healer" and she is a "Native American". She claims she is a "family friend" and she has also claimed she was my so called "friend" and she thinks she has known our family for years. She comes to my house and she works on me. I haven't seen her in several years and now during our session she has accused me of being "angry" and "immature". She doesn't think I am an adult. I don't know why she thinks this.

But anyways she says all these good things to my face and then she says mean things. I can't keep up with her. This isn't the first time I have been accused of being "angry". People have accused me of this before. It seems to have got to do with my tone of voice. People tell me to chill out because how I sound and people have pointed out it is my tone. I may sound angry to her because I raised my voice but only because she was talking over me and she wasn't listening.

I don't get social cues. I don't understand what's going on. I am very confused because I thought she would have been more understanding and then instead she cared more about herself then me. Because I felt I was just being normal and then I feel like I was getting accused at random. People do think I am getting angry and yelling. But I don't feel angry when I am talking. I feel like I am sounding monotone.

I tried to explain to this person that came over to my house that I have autism and she's like "No, you don't". She went on to say something about labeling. I don't know what she was talking about but she never makes sense to me. The situation had already made me very frustrated. By that point SHE was already mad at me and started going on and on about how I can't work with you when your angry and that your anger will go straight to your heart and she explains how she is an adult because of this and that and I didn't really care. She says your "hurting me" and I was confused by that point because it seem to happen out of the blue in my perspective. She sounded critical and manipulative.

She claims she has a brain injury and that I can't be angry around her by then I have completely lost it because I didn't know what that had to do with anything and why was she there to help me in the first place if she can't really deal with me and my issues. She went on and on telling me how your supposed to sound like this and not that. I don't know if she really has a brain injury or not. It sounds made up from the way she put it because it sounded like she used that as an excuse and if she had a brain injury I would think she would have acted differently. But what do I know. I don't mean to think she lied but she does lie a lot and she claims she is "psychic" and she believes in psychic abilities but I don't. She says all these things that I can't understand because I don't believe in them. (She tries to put me down for what I believe in. But that is beside the point because I just wanted to explain how she is.)

Sometimes she even sounded like she wanted to control me. She started telling me I was negligent about things and she came off very critical. I wish I never told her things. It was my mistake to trust her. Why did she even come over in the first place? Why didn't she leave like she said she would. She thinks she made me calm down but really I just didn't see the point of talking to her anymore. She makes things up as she goes a long and she changes her stories a lot. I just stayed quiet. She ignored me and didn't let me finish.

My sisters told me she talked behind my back about me saying how immature I was and how she was worried about me being antisocial and she accuses me of not being social when I have friends and I met a lot of people and I am very popular. She doesn't know me or what goes on in my life.

I wrote her an email telling her how I felt and she wrote back to me.
I basically told her and explained to her everything I could think of in the email.
Her reply back was very similar to what she said during the session except more in detail. She thinks I was being very immature. Except now she accused me of "yelling" at her and then she said I was very angry. My previous email I told her I was just expressing myself and then her reply to that was that she said what I did was very unhealthy and she then went on to say that if I want to work with her again I am here and then she told me that if you want to find someone else then do it and then she was telling me what to do.

But I told her in the previous email that I don't want to work with her again and that I have found someone else.
Her responses were her telling me the same thing back to me that I told her and just basically was telling me what to do. Also denying the fact that she did what my sisters told me she did.

I just don't get it. I am very confused.
I am just trying to understand what's going on.

I am wondering if there is anyone out there that might understand what I am going through because I want to find someone to relate to. Thank you.

Just walk away. It sounds like what she is doing is "gaslighting" (click here for more info); she is trying to make you doubt your own diagnosis and your own feelings so that she can be in control of the relationship at all times, and is preying on your difficulty reading social situations. She is also being selfishly hypocritical; she wants you to accept her "brain injury" (which may or may not be real), but won't accept your autistic traits in turn. If she is so against the idea of "labelling", then why is she so adamant that you label her as "Native American" or "psychic", and why is she perfectly fine with "labelling" you as angry or immature? You don't need to answer those questions, it is enough to know that these behaviours are warning signs, and you are quite right to be concerned about them.

I think your understanding of the situation is better than you give yourself credit for. As you suspect, she is being manipulative, and her gaslighting is either deliberately intended to confuse and distract you from this, or is the result of some psychological condition which she can't see in herself. I would have nothing more to do with her, and don't pay any more attention to her speculation about you.

Thank you so much for your reply. Your response really helps out a lot.

You are under no obligation to maintain contact with people who drive you crazy. If she comes to your home don't open the door. Don't respond to her emails and don't send her emails, except one to tell her that you are permanently discontinuing all contact with her. Instead, have them go into the spam folder. Don't answer her calls, and don't call her. If you have a cell fone, you can assign different ring tones for different categories of callers, or even for specific individual callers. I assigned the "no ring" ring tone to the unknown callers category, so now my fone doesn't ring when I get spam calls, but it will chirp to let me know there is a call. If it happens to be an important call, the person calling will leave a voice mail message, and I can then listen to it, and decide if I want or need to call back, and if I want to add them to my "friends and family" category, my "business" category, or my "government" category. All of these have their own ring assigned to them--a different one for each category, so I have some idea who is calling by the sound of the ring.

You really need to erase this person from your life, and all of the above suggestions make it easy to do that.

“Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, “I am not paid to listen to this drivel — you are a terminal fool!” Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.”

--William Burroughs