NT behavior that baffles me
"Being popular" is a bit abstract. It depends on context. You can ask the question popular among whom? Regarding relations my view is that quality is better than quantity. Of course, being too dependent on someone can have its risks, but still. I think you get my point.
Well, there are although luckily enough tolerant NTs too who can see the person behind the asperger-related difficulties, even if these sometimes can be hard to find. I hope you have or will find NTs of that kind in your life.
Some NTs do not socialize easily. Some NTs are not popular. Some NTs do not read body language easily. Some NTs are socially awkward.
Some NTs socialize easily, are popular, read body language easily, and are not socially awkward.....with other NTs
Plenty of NTs that socialize easily with other NTs do not socialize easily with autistics
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goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I have literally felt in awe at this. I remember sometimes my ex would strike up a conversation with a store cashier or someone in the street and I would ask afterwards "who was that?" And when she shrugged her shoulders or said "I dunno" I would think 'how do they do that? Just chat like they've known each other for years. I genuinely admire it.
Did you have to learn body language? I've picked up a few tricks from experts but how did anyone just originally know these things? Is it really an innate skill some people possess? What an amazing advantage. From my point of view it's as good as mind reading.
Tell me about it. I'm so jealous. I could study this until I die and I still wouldn't get the hang of it.
_________________
"There once was a little molecule who dreamed of being part of the crest of a great wave..."
(From the story 'The Little Molecule' - Amazon Kindle, 2013)
I have literally felt in awe at this. I remember sometimes my ex would strike up a conversation with a store cashier or someone in the street and I would ask afterwards "who was that?" And when she shrugged her shoulders or said "I dunno" I would think 'how do they do that? Just chat like they've known each other for years. I genuinely admire it.
I heard someone say just yesterday that the trick is to ask people about themselves because people's favourite subject is themselves, and they can always be counted on to open up and talk about Number 1.
So ... what was it like for you growing up?
_________________
"There once was a little molecule who dreamed of being part of the crest of a great wave..."
(From the story 'The Little Molecule' - Amazon Kindle, 2013)
Is that an honest question?
I'm just not used to people taking a genuine interest for any good reason.
My childhood was f*****g awesome! I grew up in a small town in Australia in late 80s early 90s. I had the 90s kid version of the Stranger Things kind of nostalgia upbringing. Lego, Nintendo, Magic the Gathering, anime and kung films, weekends and school holidays spent down at the river or building pretty impressive tree houses at home. Man I was lucky!
Don't get my wrong, we had a large dysfunctional family. Including half siblings I had one older bro, one younger bro and, wait for it, 5 older sisters! (but no little sister which always kinda bummed me out a bit). Come to think of it, maybe it was something in the water. I never had a single friend in primary school or high school with a little sister. Kind of weird but an interesting trivial fact that might come in handy one day
Okay, I see your point. I'll stop boring you now.
How about you?
Is that an honest question?
I'm just not used to people taking a genuine interest for any good reason.
My childhood was f*****g awesome! I grew up in a small town in Australia in late 80s early 90s. I had the 90s kid version of the Stranger Things kind of nostalgia upbringing. Lego, Nintendo, Magic the Gathering, anime and kung films, weekends and school holidays spent down at the river or building pretty impressive tree houses at home. Man I was lucky!
Don't get my wrong, we had a large dysfunctional family. Including half siblings I had one older bro, one younger bro and, wait for it, 5 older sisters! (but no little sister which always kinda bummed me out a bit). Come to think of it, maybe it was something in the water. I never had a single friend in primary school or high school with a little sister. Kind of weird but an interesting trivial fact that might come in handy one day
Okay, I see your point. I'll stop boring you now.
How about you?
For me growing up was fun overall. Grew up moving around every few years. Always a shy kid and better at making a few close friends. MTV was something new and exciting when I was a teen and it was music videos with VJs and not an endless run of boring shows about pregnant teens, ha ha. Didn’t know I had NVLD until I was an adult and completed neuropsychology evaluation. Any way anyone else how was growing up for you?
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."
Is that an honest question?
I'm just not used to people taking a genuine interest for any good reason.
My childhood was f*****g awesome! I grew up in a small town in Australia in late 80s early 90s. I had the 90s kid version of the Stranger Things kind of nostalgia upbringing. Lego, Nintendo, Magic the Gathering, anime and kung films, weekends and school holidays spent down at the river or building pretty impressive tree houses at home. Man I was lucky!
Don't get my wrong, we had a large dysfunctional family. Including half siblings I had one older bro, one younger bro and, wait for it, 5 older sisters! (but no little sister which always kinda bummed me out a bit). Come to think of it, maybe it was something in the water. I never had a single friend in primary school or high school with a little sister. Kind of weird but an interesting trivial fact that might come in handy one day
Okay, I see your point. I'll stop boring you now.
How about you?
Actually, yes, it was an honest question, but put in a cheeky kind of way.
Your childhood sounds awesome! I agree that 80s/90s Australia was the best. (yeah, we all loved the Ninja Turtles).
I didn't get out in nature as much as I wanted... streets were my home. Mostly going from one neighbourhood kid's house to the other, seeing who was free to play. We used to eat flowers and dare each other to touch those weird caterpillars with the scary designs on their backs. They told us if we touched those, we would get sick and die.
And the horror movies...don't get me started on the horror movies... so good! Way before Scary Movie came out, we had The Amityville Horror and creepy old Freddy Kruger.
Overall, I miss my childhood. Didn't have many school friends and no sisters (lucky you) but plenty of strong men around me. I always feel I missed out on the feminine stuff because of that - nobody to do my hair, take me shopping, etc, but plenty of guys happy to show me how to punch people and lecturing me about how to service my car. Nevertheless, I feel very close to the women in my life today and am enjoying girly things like never before. (Go ahead - ask me anything on beauty and fashion ... I'll wow you ... and probably put you to sleep, ha ha).
_________________
"There once was a little molecule who dreamed of being part of the crest of a great wave..."
(From the story 'The Little Molecule' - Amazon Kindle, 2013)
All-in-all, at the end of the day, this is the definition of neurotypical. And the antithesis of what it means to have Asperger's. Sensory overload/meltdowns/executive functioning and the slew of OCD/ADD/anxiety/depression are all possible secondaries. But I've yet to meet or read about an Aspie that's been a total, natural social success.
All-in-all, at the end of the day, this is the definition of neurotypical. And the antithesis of what it means to have Asperger's. Sensory overload/meltdowns/executive functioning and the slew of OCD/ADD/anxiety/depression are all possible secondaries. But I've yet to meet or read about an Aspie that's been a total, natural social success.
Wow OCD/ADD well sometimes feel like I have mild OCD and likely have NVLD and feel like I almost have Aspergers or HFA.
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."
Yeah at age 13 I started to realize I wasn't catching onto body language or social norms. My mom snapped at me one day when I was trying to have a conversation with her saying "Stop focusing on that one thing."
I have issues knowing when it's appropriate to stop talking about a certain subject and moving on. And when to make eye contact and when someone doesn't like me.
Anyway once realizing this at 13 I started thinking back, even in Preschool I was an outcast, none of the other children really liked me and I was always isolated in the corner reading a book or playing with dolls.
I never really thought about it before up until that point.
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