Feeling like a child trapped in an adult’s body

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graceksjp
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10 Oct 2018, 1:49 pm

I accept and embrace the fact that I am perpetually a preteen. I have about a gajillion guilty pleasures because I still like books, shows, movies etc that are aimed for middle school age.
More than that though I’m still really...dependent on others I guess. Like my parents still do everything for me despite me being a legal adult and I still feel lost and shy whenever I’m forced to do anything by myself. Even if it’s as simple as going to the store or getting a haircut.
That and I think I kinda act like a child too. When I need to be I can be mature and professional, but most of the time I probably act like an eight year old ㅋㅋㅋ (I think my friends have picked up on that. They tend to kinda treat me like one too)


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rick42
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16 Oct 2018, 8:15 pm

I'm 34 years old and feel like I'm 11 years old.While I do work and drive,I still don't really get to experience much.Never hanged out anywhere(outside of work).Never have dated. Recently,ever since I give up on the idea of Friendships and relationships,I haven't really been talking with anyone unless I'm spoken or it's strictly about work related stuff.I wasn't fully independent until I was 25.I feel like I'm around 20 years behind emotionally.People tend to treat me like a child,(which is part of the reason why only get along with other Aspie people).My social experience(or lack there of) is of a young child.



brightonpete
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16 Oct 2018, 8:52 pm

I am 63, but still feel like a kid at times. The way some things make me go "Wow!" Feeling that I have yet to mature. It must be one reason why I have been single and alone all my life. No one wants a kid. And when you are 63, you are supposed to be so cool and experienced of which I certainly am not!

I wish I was 4 years old again!



hannahjrob
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16 Oct 2018, 9:09 pm

Yes, I can really relate. Ever since my preteens/early teens, I've really never felt my age. When I was in middle and high school, I typically had more in common with kids who were 2-3 years younger than me than with kids my own age. I did manage to find a few friends my own age who just happened to be more on the childish side like I was. I'm almost 27 now and it's hard for me to even believe I'm that old. I don't feel like it at all. I feel like I still depend on other people so much. I still have imaginary friends and play in my imaginary world in my head all the time.



IstominFan
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17 Oct 2018, 9:04 am

I think I would do very well in a field that helps people with disabilities (or anyone who just feels different, with or without a diagnosed issue), because I have compassion for people who have difficulties of one sort or another.



kyniel
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17 Oct 2018, 6:05 pm

I have thought the same too. I can't relate to other people my age at all. They all seem to secretly hate me and ignore me. Younger people though seem to be nicer to me, I relate to them much more.



blooiejagwa
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18 Oct 2018, 9:53 pm

As a kid I felt more adult than other kids- eg i thought their arguments and things they care about were immature and unimportant (like celebrity culture, who likes who, clothes, parties)

As an adult, I feel like a kid surrounded by adults.

V strange


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xatrix26
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19 Oct 2018, 6:46 am

I would say that this is very much my current state of mind because I am 43 but my maturity feels around 10 or 11 years old. I'm still very much interested in a lot of children's toys like Legos and model trains and such. When I get excited about something I sound like a child with my explosive enthusiasm.

There are quite a few examples like this.


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blooiejagwa
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19 Oct 2018, 7:02 am

KathyKitty wrote:
IMO: Every single post in this string would rightly be evaluated as having been written by an intelligent, articulate, interesting, analytical and self-aware person. The fact that some of us don't always choose to limit ourselves to countless ridiculous cultural conventions, and are thus perceived as different for our age or even demented, weird, detached, dim, (oh I could go on for days,) are just more prejudices we must face as courageous, thoughtful, creative individualists.

I just think our thought processes are so complex that it is difficult for us to respond quickly in social situations because we need to think things through and word our responses carefully. So instead of the brilliant stuff that is going on in our heads our mouths spew out something of a mash. Eventually we decide to pass on the gross effort of socializing at all. But we are there for the ones we love, and we want to do good, right?

This is one of the friendliest forums I've ever visited. The fact that many posts have hundreds of reads and only single digit responses could well be interpreted as agreement, honest disinterest, disagreement mercifully omitted, or too many possible responses for the poster to list.


This is an interesting point- that’s why we may be more nuanced and thorough in writing


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SilentJessica
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19 Oct 2018, 7:25 am

I felt older than everyone I went to kindergarten with, and my cousin who was my age. I was homeschooled, so I don't know how I felt after that.

Now I feel like people my age and younger would probably judge me and look down on me for everything I haven't done or been able to do. I feel more like I'm about 18 than 26. Not only for the "milestones" I haven't met, but the childish things I still like to do. Some people have told me I seem innocent. I know I can be naive at times, even if I can't see it until afterwards.


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IstominFan
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19 Oct 2018, 9:06 am

blooiejagwa,

I am the same. As a kid, I remember reading about things most kids didn't. Education studies say that people don't read to learn things until about fourth grade, but I remember doing that as early as second grade. I studied my favorite breeds of cats and dogs at an early age.

Now, in terms of life experience, I am the "dumb kid in the room," even though I am university educated and have had a stable employment history (only part-time, but I have been working at my current place of employment for nearly 16 1/2 years). I am working hard to catch up. One day, I hope to find a man who accepts me and won't leave me or overprotect me based on my differences.



Jo_B1_Kenobi
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19 Oct 2018, 10:36 am

graceksjp wrote:
I accept and embrace the fact that I am perpetually a preteen. I have about a gajillion guilty pleasures because I still like books, shows, movies etc that are aimed for middle school age.


I really relate to your guilty pleasures idea. While I read adults books too I love a good Young Adult novel, plus comics, TV shows, Star Wars, science toys for kids. I think this is definitiely a good side of being autistic!


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mrspock
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19 Oct 2018, 10:46 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
How many of us on the spectrum feel emotionally and socially significantly younger than our actual age. This is a new phenomenon I have only recently heard of, but how many of us actually feels that it adequately describes us?


I don't see anything wrong with this at all. If I like comics at 40 who does it hurt? And besides, the whole industry is no longer geared for children, in fact that's a side issue in comics now. Its all geared for adult fans. Marvel wouldn't spend billions on its films if they were for kids. And we are a small percentage of the general population, so we are not driving this on our own. Its a shift in society as a whole that I welcome.


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CockneyRebel
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19 Oct 2018, 11:50 am

I feel like I'm half my age mentally and emotionally. I feel like I'm in my early 20s. There's nothing wrong. I wonder if I will live 20 years longer than the average person.


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mrspock
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19 Oct 2018, 12:21 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I feel like I'm half my age mentally and emotionally. I feel like I'm in my early 20s. There's nothing wrong. I wonder if I will live 20 years longer than the average person.


I agree totally. I also LOOK much younger than I am. We need to push this as the new normal and not something to be ashamed of.


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green0star
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19 Oct 2018, 4:06 pm

I'm actually slightly emotionally and mentally stunted actually so that would make some kinda sense.