How do you convince people...

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Well err...I really like my boyfriend and all, like I would not want to split up with him. But I think he needs to go to a dentist, his gums are not in great shape from what I see...and I think it would do him good to get it looked at and treat and on the other side maybe I would like to 'make out' more if that was dealt with. Like I love my boyfriend and I want to stick with him...but well now I keep getting pre-occupied with his gums and how they don't look healthy. I am concerned of his health like he's my S.O and I care about him, so apparently that means now I also care about his health. (this is my longest relationship, I never had things get so far with other guys...but with him we are actually living together and just got our second apartment so this is a long term thing).

So I don't know if anyone has ideas of how to bring it up without hurting his feelings?...like I love him no matter what but, uhh I just even though I don't have the greatest teeth health, his looks worse and I don't want him to end up losing his teeth early or something all because of gum problems. I mean I get gingivitis a lot but my gums still have the healthy pink color, my boyfriends gums do not they are getting that blue-ish color people with more severe gum disease have. And so I want to try to encourage him to get that treated or looked at before it gets worse, but I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad so not sure how to bring it up without seeming like an as*hole. I mean I have aspergers so I kind of just want to bluntly say 'hey you should get your teeth cleaned' but I don't think that would be quite the right approach. So if anyone has ideas I am curious.

1) Tell him you're making it a policy to have regular dental checkups.
2) Make an appointment for both of you.

I'd just explain to him that his gums don't look healthy and you're concerned about the effects gum disease may have on his health, and because of the potential health effects, you really think it would be a good idea for a dentist to have a look. But then again, I also tend to be too blunt, so perhaps my advice isn't the best - I'd trust your instincts as to whether this would hurt his feelings or not, since you know him and I don't. Also, Raleigh is right - it will probably make it feel less personal if you make appointments for both of you to have a checkup/cleaning.

I suppose so long as I make it clear its about concern and not like a 'omg your gross and I don't like being with you because of it' type thing. I mean his breath isn't bad or anything he brushes regularly, teeth look fine but I just know gum discoloring is a bad sign, and not sure its something that can just be fixed with a better toothbrush, mouthwash or toothpaste.

We have both talked about trying to make our lifestyle a bit more healthy after we've moved into the new place like eating better(there is actually a kitchen with room to cook no more having to use the same little counter for food preparation and drying dishes) making coffee in the morning rather than getting energy drinks/sodas and stuff like that so perhaps once we're moved in and start working on that it would be an appropriate time to mention it.

I just get way to worried about how I come off, I mean my boyfriend knows me well enough to know I am not just being as*hole if I mention a concern about his health. So I shouldn't worry so much about it.

I understand your struggle. I am horrible with these things. What Raleigh commented sounds good to me though, that way he won't feel like it's all about him and him having gross teeth or something.

Describe to him the worst-case scenarios of ignoring dental needs: tooth loss, root canals, dentures or implants to the tune of about $20,000 ... ultimately jaw and facial bone loss redesigning his face in ways one can't expect.

Maybe deliver your concerns in the form of a "compliment sandwich"? I don't know if that works as I usually just bluntly state what is on my mind. Doesn't your bf smoke? That is probably why his gums are the way they are, and seeing a dentist isnt going to change that. Gum disease will likely continue as long as he smokes and only get worse.

If his teeth have already been neglected for many years, the damage may well be irreparable, at least unless you have several tens of thousands of dollars to spare. I speak from personal experience here. Until the age of about thirteen, it was a good week if I brushed at all. My teeth are now covered in stains and full of cavities. Of course I brush twice daily now, and have done since that age, but it was too late.