Telling off my ex gf's mom

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i've reached my wits end with a situation in my life that i've just never known how to handle and i'm hoping for an autistic's perspective on it.

i had a good friend i met a few years ago and she had set me up with her daughter (the mother was much older than me - me and the daughter aren't far off) but we just couldn't work it out because of some things that happened to her in her life before i came around. me and her were very toxic and really didn't have much in common short of sexual tension. so, we moved on. 4 months later, we try to be friends, and we couldn't do it because she was dating someone. he breaks her heart later on and she tries to date me, confesses she was an a-hole to me and we hook up. that lasted 2 weeks, and we started fighting and she was ignoring me. so, that time i blocked both of them.

now, again, they found me. we agreed to just be friends, all 3 of us, just have fun doing the things that brought us together and not worry about anything. well, sexual tension happened (we're both apparently attracted to each other a lot) and now we're finding ourselves in the same place we always are. she's only casually interested in me because she has no better options. she's very toxic and manipulative and i'm already seeing serious red flags from her that scream she's using me. we're going to fight, and we're going to block each other, it always happens.

it's been particularly hard for me because people don't just come in my life and be the friend her mother was. she's never asked me for a favor, she typically pays for the movies we see and what not (i can afford them, she's just that type of person) she talks to me and she's always had my back. she's said we should just be friends and her daughter has issues that she needs to resolve before she can be ready to date anyone. she's really been a good person all around about all this. i understand what i do wrong, but i can't help myself. whenever i tell myself to just be friends, ignore her, whatever, she makes her presence known. she tries to make me jealous, flirts, or whatever she needs to do to get my attention and it always works. it's always her making the first move and i don't have the courage to tell her no because tbh, i just like the chemistry we have and the affection too much. but once it works, she shuts down and i never hear from her until i chase her. i realize the flaw in my character in my inability to tell her no but tbh that isn't going to get better. i'm a damn fool and i know it.

the reality is, i need to tell my exes mom that we can't continue to be friends. i've tried saying "i don't want to see your daughter even as friends" because they're always together. i've tried pretending she isn't around when we hang out, i've tried everything. the only option is to cut her off completely. how do you tell a great friend who truly cares for you that you don't want to be friends anymore? as a man with autism i don't find friends very often like that, and it's something i'd prefer not to lose but it's been proven that we cannot set appropriate boundaries and the only option is no contact.

i mean she calls me "the son she wished she had" like how do you tell a woman like that off

edit - for context, her mom and i are platonic friends and there's never been a hint from either side of anything beyond that.

If the daughter is always around the mom then thats a problem. Unless you can ignore her to hang out with the mom. But you said you cant do that. So how are you supposed to be friends with the mom. You may not have much of a choice. You probably shouldnt be friends with the mom if the daughter is always around. Im really sorry you have to make this decision because it is really hard to make good friends.