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SaveFerris
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14 Oct 2018, 5:06 pm

yeah , life's a b***h then you die


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englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:11 pm

how long should i wait though before getting a new one



SaveFerris
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14 Oct 2018, 5:14 pm

englishguy wrote:
how long should i wait though before getting a new one


Personally I would wait until you can pay for it yourself and get some help for your anger issues.


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englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:16 pm

how long would you say then



Raleigh
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14 Oct 2018, 5:27 pm

I'm wondering why you took your rage out on the camera, which you parents so nicely provided.
Do you have anger towards your parents too?


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englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:35 pm

no, i just get angry about my life. like i said i want to get into that UNI but i can't because I have to have GCSE maths which im not doing this year



beady
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14 Oct 2018, 5:38 pm

Take pride in yourself by taking control of yourself in whatever way you are able.
Many people like to disparage people who work at low level jobs and it takes self confidence and thick skin to ignore those insults.
The sooner you humble yourself by taking whatever job you can get, the sooner you will find a way to improve your life.
A job well done will earn you experience which over time may enable you to have buying power and independence and perhaps, eventually, and depending on your abilities, a better job.
It all starts with the right attitude.
The time it takes is completely up to you.



Trogluddite
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14 Oct 2018, 5:44 pm

englishguy wrote:
I want to be independent and get away from my family.

If this is what's most important to you, then I'd try to get into whatever Uni' you can. SaveFerris is quite right, you can't predict the outcome of going to one Uni' over another. The one you want to go to might seem more appealing or have a course that particularly interests you, but could turn out to be where there's some kind of unpredictable consequence, so that it turns out nothing like you imagine now (it could be something as random as meeting one particularly nasty bully). Another place might not be so obviously appealing now, but could be the place where the atmosphere lets you thrive. There really is no way to know; but either way, you get the opportunity for independence that you're looking for.

I ended up going to a different Uni' than I wanted to. I didn't get my degree, but that had nothing to do with the Uni'; I had no idea I was autistic at the time, and I'd have had the problems I did wherever I'd have gone. However, I accidentally stumbled upon an area of the country that I enjoy living in, and I'm still living in the same city now, thirty years later. I still see people who I met back at Uni', they're still good friends and they've supported me through many a crisis in that time. I did things that I never expected that I have the courage to do, like playing in bands and leading outdoor pursuits trips. Would my life have been better if I'd gone to Uni' somewhere else? There's no way to know, but I have no regrets.

As the old saying goes; "don't let perfect be the enemy of good." Making a compromise in one area can open up many possibilities in others, but we all have to do this without being able to perfectly predict the future. You need to decide which is more important to you; gaining your independence while you have the chance, or continuing to be frustrated by your lack of independence until you can get to go to the Uni' that you prefer (which could never come to pass for a variety of reasons, or may simply seem less appealing by the time it comes.)


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englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:51 pm

yeah i suppose that's a good way of looking at it but it still doesn't bring my camera back



ezbzbfcg2
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14 Oct 2018, 5:52 pm

Perhaps a third camera will solve all of your problems. Maybe ask you mother for another one.



Trogluddite
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14 Oct 2018, 5:57 pm

englishguy wrote:
but it still doesn't bring my camera back

Might make it less likely that the same thing happens to the next one, though!


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englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:58 pm

what do you mean



englishguy
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14 Oct 2018, 5:59 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Perhaps a third camera will solve all of your problems. Maybe ask you mother for another one.


how would i tell her and ask her



Trogluddite
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14 Oct 2018, 6:37 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
englishguy wrote:
but it still doesn't bring my camera back

Might make it less likely that the same thing happens to the next one, though!

englishguy wrote:
what do you mean

Why did the cameras get broken?
Venting frustration in the form of a melt-down!

It sounds like much of that frustration comes from feeling that you're not independent; not in control of your own life. If you can break free and assert your independence, it might take away a lot of that frustration, so you'd be less likely to have these kind of melt-downs. I don't have melt-downs anything like as much as I used to when I was younger, because I have the independence to adjust my life so that it doesn't mess with my autistic traits so much. Finding other ways to vent the frustration might help too; it could be anything from seeing a counsellor to getting a punchbag to pagger every evening, but whatever way you achieve it; less frustration = fewer broken cameras.


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englishguy
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15 Oct 2018, 1:10 am

True I agree with that



NicoleC
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15 Oct 2018, 4:11 am

I would highly reccomend getting some counselling for your anger. Asking your mother to replace another camera that you deliberately broke shows no consideration.
If you realise that you need to make changes to improve your out bursts to prevent you from destroying things the ln start making progress and then maybe you would actually deserve another one.
Why should your mother replace your broken camera when you have done nothing to prevent it happening again?
As far as frustration goes everyone faces it. It is a part of life.
Just last week I was so angry and frustrated I said to my husband "i feel like taking that laptop and smashing the s**t out of it" now the laptop did not piss me off, and if i break it because i get in a rage, my insurance won't replace it and i can't afford to buy a new one. Find something (punching bag?) less expensive and possibly suited to have the s**t beaten out of it and take your frustration out on that.
You say you want to be independent, find a girlfriend, lose weight and be an "adult" but then you also don't want to take a job or go to a university that you feel is beneath you. Sounds like you want a life where everything you want is simply provided for you. Trust me, we all want that.
But life is not fair, the world owes you nothing. If you want something you will likely have to get it yourself.
I would suggest that you speak to your mother, tell her what happened to the camera, admit to her that you need help controlling your emotions. Do not ask her for another camera, she may just buy you another one because she wants to make you happy, but unless you take responsibility for your own actions I don't think you deserve another camera.
Get a job, you are not better than anyone working what you think of as a menial job. Speak to your GP or pharmacist about your skin. There is a product called Zinplex (I'm in South Africa, not sure of the name where you are) it is available from pharmacies. Its a zinc based treatment for acne. Its also relatively inexpensive.
Having your hormones all over the place with rage will not help with losing weight (maybe punching bag would have 2 purposes)

There are 2 sayings I really love:
*You can have anything, but you can't have everything.
- you can't want independance but also find fault with every task which would assist your independance.
* you are free to choose, but you are not free of the consequences of your choices
- you can break your camera, but then you can't have a camera.

It may sound harsh, but you need to grow up.