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Hi, I'm an Asperger's woman dating for a few months a nuerotypical guy, and I think I'm falling in love with him. However my social limitations make it at times painfully awkward when we're together. He says it doesn't bother him, that he knows and is a very patient and understanding person. I am so scared to lose him. we have good times together, but it can get so painfully awkward making conversation:/ Should I give up on this? is it ever possible for a "normal" guy and a girl on the spectrum to ever work?? or am hoping for the impossible an outcome that will never happen. I am so upset about this cause I'm thinking about it so much. Any and all help/advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I think part of your problem is that your worrying too much about this. There have been LOTS of Aspie/NT relationships on this forum. Some work better than others. Part of it depends on the NT. If your guy is patient & understanding, that is a huge plus. it's possible that he's not nearly as bothered by social awkwardness as you think he is. Just do the best you can but don't try too hard, try to focus on the moment with him & enjoy yourselves.

A. Relax.
B. Don't overthink it.
C. Don't make assumptions. When in doubt, ask.
D. To the greatest extent possible, be transparent.
People tend to personalize what they don't understand. If you're being withdrawn or emotionally remote, in the absence of other explanations most people will assume on some level that you're rejecting them (we're all insecure), when in fact you aren't feeling that way at all. The more we can verbally communicate what's really going on with us, the less room we're allowing for misunderstandings to develop.

I’m a guy on the spectrum married to a NT woman, and I’m here to tell you it can work.

I made a point early on to say that I’m the quiet type and that “I hope I’m not being too quiet.” This let her know that my silences are just part of me, not a rejection. Sometimes you can spend time together without talking much if you’re both OK with it. Sometimes we do things that don’t involve talking, like watching a movie. And sometimes I will encourage her to talk - the secret is to pay attention, and be interested in what the other person is saying. It’s not that I avoid talking, just that I find it wearying and appreciate when she takes more of the conversational burden.

Citymale is right that he will stay with you if you have qualities he’s attracted to. Although I don’t think being “pretty” is a deciding factor. That word means so many different things to different people and is easy to obsess over. Ultimately, it is more important that you feel comfortable with one another.

Are you afraid to be yourself when conversating with him?

Hate to break it to you,but AS/NT relationships tend not to work.First our brains are wired differently than NT's.NT's even the most shyest,weirdest,introverted NT's are vastly different than we are.We have nothing in common with NT's . A vast majority of NT's don't like Aspies,tho your boyfriend is the exception of the rule. I will also say there more of a chance that a NT male/AS female relationship will work than a NT woman/AS man relationship(particularly becasue NT female/AS male relationships very rarely ever work in the first place),but it doesn't mean the relationship between NT males and AS females won't have a lot of problems.You are still different from him.Does he understand and accept the fact that you have Aspergers and that you will struggle with certain things? Do both of you have simlar interest? Are there compromises in the relationship,being that compromises are very important in relationships? Does he expect for you be normal or he does accept the fact you not? To me that's a lot to ask for when it comes to NT's.Unlike a NT female/AS male relationship,I say this type of relationship can work,but it's going really difficult.

I have social anxiety and have never been diagnosed but I think I am on the spectrum. When I was first seeing my boyfriend I was super awkward around him. We’d go to a restaurant and there would be these long silences and I would be grinning and giggling like an idiot. I can’t remember how long long it lasted but eventually I got comfortable around him. We have a ton in common and great chemistry and we stuck it out. We’ve been together for 9 years now. He isn’t exactly normal though. He’s gifted so he has his own social and attention issues which are very different than mine but he tries to understand me.

I think one of the big issues in relationships is if your partner accepts you as you are and wants to understand you. It sounds like your man wants these things so you have the opportunity to have a healthy, supportive relationship. I’m super happy I didn’t give up on things because I was awkward for awhile at the beginning.

Some think of Aspergers as an extreme male brain so it seems like it would be a lot easier for an Aspie woman & NT guy to have a relationship than an Aspie guy & an NT woman. There's still plenty of Aspie guys who have relationships with NT women thou, it's just more difficult but it can work.

“It sounds like your man wants these things so you have the opportunity to have a healthy, supportive relationship. I’m super happy I didn’t give up on things because I was awkward for awhile at the beginning.” - This answer is much better than my answer!

Why is it easier for an Aspie woman & a NT man than an Aspie man & a NT woman?