Vacation has come to an end and I feel anxious

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I've been on a relaxing vacation all week (not abroad) with my boyfriend, and it's been so nice to be somewhere quiet with very little traffic. The people here are friendly and cheerful, and there's no chaotic rush hours or crowds and crowds of people all doing the same thing. It's just countryside, wildlife and rich but not snobby folk.
We were staying with my boyfriend's relatives who are retired out here.

Now we've got to go back home today, and I'm feeling all panicky and anxious about facing Essex again. I'm going to miss the peaceful countryside, the friendly people, and the quiet roads. Essex is chaotic, overpopulated, full of aggressive people (that outnumber the decent people), lots of lovely countrysides being built on, lots of traffic day and night, unruly kids and crowds and traffic and more crowds and traffic and millions and millions of people and cars and people and cars everywhere in every direction everywhere you look, it's like there are more people and cars than there are ants around here.

If I were rich I would move out to the peaceful countryside where they're not building houses on any patch of grass they can find. But I'm not rich, never will be, and neither is my boyfriend. We're just commoners, having to be lumped close in apartments with other commoners, among the noisy traffic.
Plus I usually come down with a bad cold after I've been on a vacation for some reason, so I'm looking forward to that (not!)

I'm just feeling a bit blue at the thought of returning to it all. I'm even feeling nervous about going back to work, and I like my job. The only thing I'm looking forward to is seeing my family.

Yep. I often feel the same way.

But reality is reality. And you will soon realize that there is good amid the bad.

I wish you both could save up to get a retirement home.

Have you applied to be on the council housing list? If not, might be worth a look. The list can get you eligibility to housing association properties as well as council ones which tend to be newer, more attractive and better neighbourhoods.

If you managed to get a council or housing association property you can then join HomeSwapper.co.uk, an online home swapping service for council and housing association tenants.

So if that is possible for you, it could be a future way to move somewhere more to your liking.

If you do apply or have applied, try to make sure you get priority on the list by emphasising how hard it is living with your disability and why that means you need a specific kind of property. If the council are sympathetic it would mean waiting a lot less longer to get somewhere. You might be able to get someone to help you with that too, like from the Citizens Advice Bureau or a local advocacy organisation if there are any.

1. It's not as easy as that to move to the other side of the country and find work

2. My disability isn't 'severe' enough to be understood, and I don't like lying or exaggerating because these days the government are very hot on who gets what support and I worry about them finding out that I've been lying (I get paranoid about spies)

3. There aren't many council houses where I want, that's why it's so nice up there because there are less houses, people and cars. But you have to be rich or retired to even get a chance to just pack up and go

But thanks for your advice anyway.
I'm just feeling a bit low at the moment.

If you marry your boyfriend, when his folks pass on, you might inherit their place in the country. Something to look forward to for the future maybe.

I feel you! That was me a few weeks ago after having to go back to work after being off for a few months due to surgery. It sucks, but so do disability checks so I'm at least greatful to be earning money again!

Just take it one day at a time hun. Can you visit the countryside during your off days?