How to friendzone a guy and set boundaries with him

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Hi:
So last night, I was on my way home I ran into a guy with Asperger's who has always had a crush on me and we did talk about dating but I just feel we are on different wavelengths in so many ways because I feel like he still acts like a wild 16-year-old next to talking about unrealistic things. Last night he asked me to:
1. Kiss him
2. Hold his hand
3. Asks me if I think he is cute


He also is known to be kind of insulting to me and especially if I tell him "No" to the other stuff and he told to
1. Grow my hair out
2. That his other friends think that I look like I am a man and that my hair would look better if it were a tad bit longer
3. I am mean because I won't kiss him
4. I embarrass him doing this or that
5. He compared me to another guy who I wrote about over the summer who works when I was trying to show him to the door. "You're a female version of him," when I was shutting the door.
6. I texted him and said that I would not be kissing him and he wrote back and asked "Do you think I am cute?" I wrote "Umm...goodnight"

On Sunday I am going to meet a group of friends and I said he could come but I want to
1. See him from time to time
2. Assert myself with him with

If he won't accept "No" for an answer, then you likely won't get him to change. If you keep seeing him, sooner or late he will likely make a serious effort to "have his way" with you. I hope I'm wrong.

1. I was thinking of having him come to a group setting
2. Let him know that we just aren't on the same front page
3. I think he is cute but that I don't have those feelings towards him

How do I assert myself?

First, you gotta set standards. Then, you gotta stick to them. Finally, you gotta let him know that you will not tolerate any breach of those standards. Stand up to him, look him in the eye, and declare in a loud voice...

"You will NOT compare me to a guy!"

"You will NOT decide how I should wear my hair!"

"You will NOT try to kiss me or hug me or get all 'touchy-feely' with me!"

"If you will not respect me, then you will NOT hang around with me!"

"IS THAT CLEAR?!

ya by being evasive u send a wrong signal/ like im liking u, but i am being eye-winky or smth. even an allistic guy who wants something, can misread in that case. let alone autistic. have to be VERY specific. what Fnord wrote.

+1

Be clear and direct. It is better to offend someone than to let them grow false hopes. It is better to lose a "friend" than to keep being insulted.

This.

Thank you very much, and I will keep these in mind because he is very immature. I texted him and answered his question that yes it is a very handsome guy but that I don't have romantic feelings for him because we are on different wavelengths along with feeling that he's very immature. I said that I prefer associating with him if he is in a group setting and not one-on-one.

He wrote back and told me that I must have been thinking about him a lot and that he does not have feelings for me but he was just playing. Rather, he said he likes one of my other friends over me.

Please, for your own sake, downplay the compliments you give to someone who is "on a different wavelength" than you. "You're a very handsome guy" might express more interest in him than you actually have. "You look okay" is more vague and non-committal, and less likely to provoke an over-reaction on his part.

For many guys -- especially for many aspie guys -- it's easy to perceive a compliment as an expression of interest.

I saw it a lot in the Navy. A cute waitress in a port-side bar smiles at a new sailor (it's her job to smile at customers) and the next thing you know, the sailor has imagined that she not only likes him, but that she wants to date him (which her employer forbids her to do).

And something like "You so handsome, Joe" gets translated in the man's mind to mean something like "I want to marry you and have your babies".

I'm trying to say that if you are not interested in someone, then act like you're not interested -- minimize contact, and keep the compliments low-key.

Don't bother with him, he is not a good friend if he won't take no for an answer and insults you. Why would you want such a horrible friend in your life and why would you force a guy to be a friend who wants to be more than your friend?

I have male friends and it works great if he has respect for women and keeps a respectful distance without ever insinuating anything romantic or sexual which my male friends don't.

Then there are the other guys... I've had many male friends in the past who's blocked me on social media when i've entered a relationship although they've swore they can handle being just friends and guys who keep saying they want to kiss me etc. even after i've told them we're just friends. They aren't real friends, they're only part of your life for one reason and it's not because they think you're such a great friend.

Some guys can have female friends and won't try to turn those friendships into more than that while others have 0 respect for women and only sees women as creatures they can get sex from so if you say no they'll get irritated or angry because they think that you owe it to them. I personally wouldn't want male friends who didn't care about me and only wanted to get in my pants. "No" should be enough of a boundry, if it's not then he's not worth anything.

Pretty a-hole and narcissistic of him. Not worth bothering.

Ok, then I will not invite him to my birthday or even remind him which he asked me to. In fact, I will not contact him again unless he contacts me about the party.

What should I say in case he contacts me to confirm with him?

Fnord, I have betty guy friends who don't treat me like that or drive me nuts the way this one does. Now in terms o the handsome compliment, I wanted to be honest while letting him know that I am not interested. If he does it again, I will tell him, yeah but looks are only skin deep, besides we are not on the same wavelength. The main thing is that I want to be polite but firm all the same.

Cool, but just be careful, since mixed messages can cause trouble later on.

its the green grapes thing. he'd be messing with u, he got this, so he now is like "never wanted it". i'd totally cross him out after this. and ya why compliment? like others say. ofc its ur life, ur choices, but he really looks like s**t to flush, sorry for being rude. this behaviour of his is highly inadequate, and its not about aspergerian stuff. its about absolute lack of respect. i'd so really trash him (verbally ofc) xD

He's got a serious ego and thinks he can act however he wants because it makes him feel good because "He's having fun."

so frag him! if somebody is like that why would u even want to emm, spare his allready oversized pride? sorry, if im over the line right now. its just so unsafe... ppl like that are... well. they can decide to have fun at ur expence, not ONLy verbally! sorry, im being triggered. been there, had that. look out, please!