Is Being Yourself Always Enough or Is Self Improvement Good?

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I'm new to the forum but I have encountered a lot of negative reaction during the times when I have suggested that it is very often if not usually good to identify those aspects of oneself which are causing them distress and or decreasing the quality of their lives and minimize those as much as possible while maximizing those qualities of theirs which are positive.

This is what I have endeavored to do throughout my life and it has gotten me great results but does anyone else feel that this is a valid in their situation or is it simply another way of saying that I think we should all forsake ourselves and become someone else entirely? If so or if no, why?

Be yourself is a stupid advice if your current qualities are the problem.

truth

Be yourself, but always seek improvement.

Agreed.

So we do have common ground after all. Good to see.

Yep. I think you can be true to yourself while improving your lot in life, too. Learning a new skill or taking better care of yourself, your home, and your relationships doesn't fundamentally change your values or interests.

I understand that people dont want to pretend to be a type of person they're not, or to do things they think are wrong.

Not wanting to improve strikes me as something to be cautious of because it tells me that person is unhappy and not going to do a damn thing about it, but I might be expected to (while managing my own happiness, too).

It seems more likely that such a person has a vested interest in their role as “victim” — they either get attention or sympathy (usually both).

I think self-improvement is good up to a point. Also, some kinds of self-improvement are better than others.

I do NOT think it's good to put so much effort into conformity to social norms, and/or remediating one's weaknesses, that one does not have enough energy left over to develop one's strengths. It is better to put most of one's energy into becoming good at whatever skills the person can most easily excel at.

For example, for some of us at least, I think it's terribly wasteful of our time and energy to put huge amounts of effort into mastering the imitation of culture-specific NT eye contact rhythms, thereby making it harder for us to focus on whatever things we are actually good at.

Instead we need an organized effort to convince major employers to stop judging prospective employees on the basis of eye contact rhythms (except in jobs where stuff like that is actually necessary, such as sales). And we need to build autistic-friendly subcultures in which people are not judged on that basis.

Be yourself is stupid advice and it is usually a person with no issues(advantaged) advising someone with issues(disadvantaged) that being yourself is enough. It is like a rich person telling poor people that working hard enough will make them rich too.

I'd say it depends on what "being yourself" means, in what context?

Could I be more gregarious? Sure. Would it improve things? Hard to say.

Could I be more sympathetic? Possibly. Do I need to be? Probably not.

There are many aspects of me that could do with some improvement, some which are fine.

Do what's best for you.

Though, there are always things to be learned. ALWAYS.

“Each of you is perfect the way you are ... and you can use a little improvement.”
Shunryu Suzuki roshi

'Be yourself' can be taken a couple of different ways. It could mean not changing anything about yourself, or it could mean being true to yourself. In the former case, if you're struggling with love despite trying a lot of things, maybe you need to change or improve on some things, but you can still do that whilst remaining true to yourself.