More Thought on Incels.

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When you're over 30, most relationships lead to marriages. Do you have any freaking idea how miserable most married men are? They live lives of quiet, ongoing misery in fear of their wives' rage and being put in the doghouse. They lead a soulless existence of getting up, going to work, coming home, fighting with their wives over dumb crap she came up with, and going to bed. Screw that! That's like being a child again, living with your parents.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 18 Sep 2021, 1:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Are you calling all married me "soulless"?

I am married to a fellow Aspie and we are extremely happy together. Ok what you describe is how it may go married to a NT woman...or not as the case may be. But your issue is that you are clearly a delusional woman hating sociopath.

Note: I'm not anti prostitution. Imo it needs to be legal for the same reason alcohol needs to be legal. Because it's unstoppable and it's illegality does far more harm than good.

That makes sense, so its not even necessarily that they haven't had sex, its that they overthink and make it a whole big thing...when women once later into adulthood a lot of times maybe don't see it as such a big deal anymore. I suppose I did not really think about that part, since I am in a relationship so haven't considered how I'd feel about a virgin my age if I was single.

For sure sometimes it is best to just get the virginity over-with, granted lack of legal prostitution can get in the way for people who may have trouble just finding a casual partner to do it with. Lol don't want to derail the thread with a debate about that, but I think it could help some with that problem.

What you got for 20 min for 300 I get every night for free. And my wife isn't pretending to enjoy my company.

Why is it that it seems that most women make such a big deal about a guy being a virgin but if it's a female virgin, most guys don't care, in comparison?

That is the experience of people in that toxic sort of dynamic yes, but there are many couples who aren't like that. Also if a partner behaves like that maybe one should make a stand and decide they will not tolerate it. If I tried to be like that to my boyfriend he would break up with me, not that I'd want to. There are women like that in my family and I think that's gross of them to be like that I prefer helping my boyfriend/making his life easier...he's the one that works full time, though I do plan to get a part time job. But yeah of course he doesn't want to come home to some naggy women getting on him about not doing enough house work/straightening up on top of his work hours. He wants to come home to someone who is happy to see him and has already taken care of some of those chores like you know feeling welcome in the place he lives.

But I cannot be the only woman out there who wants to be with someone they care for, and actually help enhance their life rather than make it worse. I get that you fear settling down with someone and ending up in that gross situation but if you did get serious with someone you could for sure break up with them if they wanted to act like that. Like you can decide that is not what you want in a partner and refuse to continue with partners who act like that. For sure maybe get long term before marrige so you can see how it is living with them. I think some people think you should wait till getting married to move in with your long term partner, but I think it is better to move in with them first spend some time living together and then determine if it is worth a marriage. Like if you move in and the person starts being super toxic, then you can still leave before commiting to marriage.

There are women in my family like you describe, with the unhappy husbands, and I personally always thought that seemed gross...and I cannot be the only woman who thinks that.

Is that “most” women everywhere and all of the time, or only “most” of only the few women you actually know?

Look at it this way you paid a woman 300 for one hour. How long did it take you to earn that? That small talk was probably just play acting.

@ezbzbfcg2

That's weird? I don't recall ever having a dispute with you? perhaps you were saying stuff about NTs that caught the eye of mods but I don't particularly care since NTs have plenty of privileges.

NTs don't have a checklist for autism but they do have a checklist for "special needs" and they tend to lump everyone with a neurodevelopment disorder into one one bucket. The fine distinctions you are alluding to don't cross the minds of NTs unless they have a family member with a specific disorder. You can be high functioning "insert disorder" for anything as long as you pass for normal. The moment you show signs of having behaviour (outside of the normal range) then you begin to be perceived as strange. NTs tend to avoid strangeness or they prey on it as a weakness.

You need to bring something to the table to compensate for those "divergences" so an NT will consider being your friend or your partner. Many people on WP obviously have succeeded as they have partners and friends who are NT.

Why the aggression? But I do agree that your mental state seems to have some impact on how you are perceived by the opposite sex. Having a pleasant disposition and smiling tends to attract like minded people which is a bonus since you also attract nice girls.

It's not going to always be enough to be nice but in the mating game it can only help not hinder.

My commentary wasn't about AS-NT dating. Totally not the point at all.

I was trying to compare two unrelated issues where the same sort of discrimination pops up:
higher-functioning Aspies being ostracized/victimized by NTs who don't know, much less care about a spectrum, or are told they can't be on the spectrum because they're not an extreme case...doesn't make the spectrum any less real (I think the people on this website can comprehend this point).

Unrelated issue: Men's looks are a spectrum. (Nothing to do with neurotype, this affects NTs and Aspies, we're talking purely acceptable looks). Some men fall below the passable level in the eyes of women. And these men don't have to be extreme cases like Elephant Man. Yet, they'll be told by other men, men who can't comprehend the spectrum, that they simply need to work a little harder or it's all their fault...

So, two unrelated issues, but similar situations. I was hoping that since most people here can comprehend the first scenario (the concept of an Autistic spectrum, most NTs not knowing or caring and unable to discern only extreme cases), maybe they'd at least think about a looks spectrum. As is, their hatred and discrimination toward the ugly is comparable to the way Aspies are sometimes hated and discriminated against. I'm trying to explain ignorance and hypocrisy.

No need to explain more about the NT-AS dynamic. Not the point of my posting. The point is the ||. The Aspies here know full well an Autistic spectrum exists, even if NTs don't know/care. Hypocritically, they can't even entertain the idea that a looks spectrum exists.

What does appearance/ugliness have to do with a the autism spectrum though?
People can gauge varying degrees of attractiveness visually but how do you gauge varying degrees of autism visually?

I don't follow?

They have nothing to do with each other, as I said.

What do you not follow?? Re-read everything I wrote.

If you're an Aspie, you know NTs are often oblivious to the concept of an Autistic spectrum and only recognize extreme cases...

If you're a decent-looking Aspie, realize that you may be oblivious to the looks spectrum and stop demonizing the ugly (just like the way NTs may demonize you as higher-functioning Aspies). Just because you can't fathom something, it doesn't make it any less real.

Need more clarification?

I'm trying to teach empathy by using one scenario people here can comprehend (because they've experienced it) with another scenario they can't comprehend (because it doesn't affect them personally).

Got it now...is there an outcome you would like to see?