More Thought on Incels.
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MXH
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Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
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Location: Here i stand and face the rain
He just thought women should come up to him, rather than he come up to them.
Chads and Stacys are just archetypes, stereotypes, don't really mean anything in the "real world."
Theres a big difference between good looking and attractive. That is not to say someone good looking won't find someone that thinks they are attractive. Its like a steak vs lobster. Steak aint bad, but most people are gonna go for the lobster.
As for The Who approaches who part, that isn't a straight forward thing. More often than not women will make some attempt at an approach. Its not a committed approach like men do, but its the same. If anything Ive learned to stop approaching everything and stick to what has indirectly approached me. And im doing much better out of it.
I prefer steak myself, actually.....
I've only had women approach me like that---subtly or not subtly---a few times in my life. I'm the one that had to do the "work" in these cases. In actuality, I feel sort of uncomfortable when a woman "makes a move" on me (though it really hasn't happened that much).
At first glance, I'm not seen as particularly "attractive," or "hot," or whatever. But I've had women become attracted to me because they thought I was "badder" than I actually was. They see me writing poetry, and think I was a rebel or something.
I'm as straight as an arrow---but there are women who thought I was into doing outrageous things sexually. When they found out I was "vanilla," they decided to find someone else other than me.
I can remember being told several times something like, "Are you blind? That girl was coming on to you!"
Honestly, there was a time in my life that unless a girl blatantly demanded my attention, I would not have noticed.
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MXH
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Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
I've only had women approach me like that---subtly or not subtly---a few times in my life. I'm the one that had to do the "work" in these cases. In actuality, I feel sort of uncomfortable when a woman "makes a move" on me (though it really hasn't happened that much).
At first glance, I'm not seen as particularly "attractive," or "hot," or whatever. But I've had women become attracted to me because they thought I was "badder" than I actually was. They see me writing poetry, and think I was a rebel or something.
I'm as straight as an arrow---but there are women who thought I was into doing outrageous things sexually. When they found out I was "vanilla," they decided to find someone else other than me.
The thing is, just like any approach its just the beginning. You still have to find the intent (one night or possible long term), build a connection that matches that intent, and follow through.
The second and third part of your post come down to self realized expectations. Not that dissimilar to what many people here consider unrealistic expectations men have towards women. Its a process of trying to fill in the blanks on someone with some idea of what youd want them to be. Sadly many bitter men tend to take this into why women think they're not good enough instead of internalizing why they think they're not good enough.
MXH
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
Honestly, there was a time in my life that unless a girl blatantly demanded my attention, I would not have noticed.
Yea, I still get it often even having an idea of what to look for. But those people also don't understand how frustrating flirting under the spectrum can be. Where what she meant as a joke or tease can seem totally different to us. I still think of those as if it wasn't obvious enough for me I wouldn't have been able to do anything regardless.
I didn't think he was bad looking. But I'm not a woman, and neither are you. And there's nothing wrong with women having different biological standards of attraction. What I'm saying is how attractive you thought he was may not align with how attractive women found him. In their eyes, the majority may very well have seen him as subpar or ugly.
And of course he wasn't the Elephant Man. That's an extreme. I'm saying women's collective standards of what is passable vs. ugly may not translate through your eyes. I know this concept frightens many.
As far as being Autistic: I've never been diagnosed. I may not actually have Asperger's. However, when I found this website, I thought, "Wow, I can relate to so much of this, I'm not the only one." I don't believe this site is just an echo chamber and I adopted its beliefs. My experiences before discovering this place in real life finally seemed validated, since the majority of people I've ever met don't have these experiences. Not just the social stuff, but things like stimming and executive function.
I remember a thread where a teenager showed his parents this site. They told him Asperger's wasn't real, all these members are just crazy and seeking attention, and he could be a completely "normal person" with just a little more effort. And since most "normal" people don't have the problems described here, it clearly can't be true that some people do.
This is why I find it troubling when I see a group of people who may have legitimately different experiences than the norm being called liars, painted with a broad brush, or being told it's all 'in their head.'
He just thought women should come up to him, rather than he come up to them.
Chads and Stacys are just archetypes, stereotypes, don't really mean anything in the "real world."
You're an aspie, for crying out loud! Be logical! I thought aspies thrived on logic. Women have a very low threshold of what an ugly man is---it's Evolutionary Biology 101, at least by Red Pill standards. Rodger fell far below that threshold, hence women rejected him. If he were above that threshold, he'd have a girlfriend or at least a series of dates. But he couldn't attract a woman to save his life.
Q.E.D.: Elliot Rodger was ugly.
He was a decent-looking guy who drove a fancy car.
I believe the trouble with Rodger----is that he gave off a scary "vibe" to women.
And he also "believed the hype" when it came to the ideology of the Incels with a Capital "I." I believe incels with a small "i" are just regular people who have trouble getting relationships.
This is why I find it troubling when I see a group of people who may have legitimately different experiences than the norm being called liars, painted with a broad brush, or being told it's all 'in their head.'
So you probably need to be upfront about qualifying "autistic experiences" from your personal perspective that (assuming you don't have AS) you may possibly be based on your personal experience projected as autistic.
He just thought women should come up to him, rather than he come up to them.
Chads and Stacys are just archetypes, stereotypes, don't really mean anything in the "real world."
You're an aspie, for crying out loud! Be logical! I thought aspies thrived on logic. Women have a very low threshold of what an ugly man is---it's Evolutionary Biology 101, at least by Red Pill standards. Rodger fell far below that threshold, hence women rejected him. If he were above that threshold, he'd have a girlfriend or at least a series of dates. But he couldn't attract a woman to save his life.
Q.E.D.: Elliot Rodger was ugly.
I've known really good looking NT men who were painfully shy and lacked confidence with women. It's not hard to imagine one of these guys tipping over the edge if they are unable to cope with seeing less attractive men have better luck with girls.
A friend of a friend comes to mind, he was 30 yrs old, 6foot5, played football went to parties met plenty of girls but was a virgin. He had a female friend who he was into but it turned out she was friendzoning him (I had this experience too) and he was simping,
He became angry frustrated and got violent and was thrown out of the football club he was in after he found out one of his football teammates slept with her. My other friend was mentoring him on how to not be a simp and not be too desperate as girls pick this up a mile away
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