Better with machines than people :(

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no, its not knowledge that is alienating, if something is. and its not depersonalizing u either, u are a very elaborate person as far as i can see. alienation is about having suffered rejection, which happens NOT because of ur intellectual profile or something, it happens because some ppl are prone to push anything they dont understand. aka xenophobia. being autistic, this comes with the territory. here u and me, talking about it for 4 pages now, and we still suffer miscommunications, both trying to deliver points the other person doesnt receive in full. we are both autistic, but different at that. we are trying, m? many ppl dont try. dont bother. pref to go for an easier target. and tbh, we are better off without those, i've spent enough of my time and soul trying to connect with those. it doesnt work. then, i have friends, different ones, and many of them dont care for my skills and hyperfocus. wrong phrasing, they do care in terms "this makes her feel better, so thats good", but they dont want to delve. i just discuss things of mutual interest with them, and that mutual interest is different with each person. somebody also cant stand somebody else. i let them steer clear of each other, accepting the fact that they dont have to be friends with each other, to be friends with me. point im trying to make, u need to FIND ppl who want what u know, if u need to share. however useful skills those are, its normal to have non-tech mind at all, or just different focus, or something. its about accepting another person as they are, not as u wish them to be (like wanting to learn to hack for example). accepting their lack of such desire, to start with))) first rule in my dischord nook, everybody wants to be accepted, so we have to accept each other. with all our differences and rough edges. that is how friendship works.

You're right about the majority of all those tech disciplines & a lot of the less accessible things I know. There's stuff in my head that's basically impossible to convey without years of practice already behind whomever I'm talking to.

Considering I actually know anyone in real life at all, I want to work on better ways to help them feel accepted as they have for me. Another way of saying all this is that I want to share my general sense of how I navigate this absurdly complex & technical world, to help everyone form their own concepts of tech they may encounter. I'm not trying to convey my passionate opinions on software architecture or free operating systems. I'm all about thinking in new ways.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

"i am a fixer" - related. "i am a diplomate more than a social creature" - i might ofc be wrong, but diplomacy is a social gestalt skill. i know i am not a diplomate. we are born with a handicap in that area, gotta deal xD ur dedication is beautiful. or handsome. tech mind, strongly integrated with (or basing on) spiritual (not to confuse with religious) belief? this world needs more of this. some people would never recognize, and they have to be omitted. some people stay forever, some people just run out of time, some people live in darkness, and give up just before the light. u, me, now we wont back down. tho points i made still stand, ya, some ppl cant induct everything their friends know, for various reasons ^^ i have different touch points with different ppl. somewhere its touch surface. somewhere its like an antenna. everything works as long as it does ^^

I almost think I understand gestalts better than I do reality. Being a quasi-mystical hacker more or less separates me from everyone I've ever met even though a few people make an effort to understand me. I think I've learned a lot of diplomacy by rote out of necessity just to stay in contact with people.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

i will not claim understanding. i think at least in some moments we correspond, but still, well. maybe its 1 wavelength, but different modulation. i understand tech just as much as i need to use it. i wouldnt understand many things u might want to tell, because ya, like u urself noted, need more base knowledge ^^ i know how net works. on a level "what tcp-ip is and how to trace, so that my provider's firstline support didnt f**k my brain about "disconnect ur router, reconnect ur router" (or, if fail is behind their area, i wouldnt bother calling them at all)" xD im mumbling. point is, my hyperfocus is different. or rather i have several, with varying value. one main is quite apparent around here, i think xD dont like typing it out, though. but point is, "quasi-mystical" is something i heavily relate to ^^ i've just well, gone to reserve a lot of inner circuitry that makes me tick. i dont want to discuss it, not exept with closest friends. there are things more intimate, than gender stuff. especially i dont want to type it out on a forum. i build a lot of layers of defence, i communicate with smoke and mirrors, i put forward only small part of my motivations. some ppl can see right thru it all, some ppl figure me out. they are VERY rare. most dont. and still can be had fun with, as long as they are smart enough to take instructions (like DONT type certain 2 letters at me). again, point is, ppl u communicate to dont have to fully undestand u. or even understand u on any decent level. they cand deal with a mask, or filter, a projection of PART of ur personality, the one that would be more comprehensible to them. sounds like a lie? not really. maybe im set in my ways, maybe im wrong. i cant open up to people, i rather keep it all on a blackbox template. exept exeptions. those filters, well they are custom-built interfaces that allow contact with me in a safe way, for both parties. maybe that method will help u? there are simmilarities in us. try it?

When you talk to people do you maintain lots of eye contact? My therapist told me that's important for people to think you're interested in them. She asked me to talk for 30 seconds while she looked away from me and I admit I began to think she wasn't interested in what I was saying.

Not really sure if this is relevant or useful to you but throwing it in here just in case. Alright, I'll excuse myself now and let the thread continue.

ya sometimes 2 ppl just click with each other upon meeting. more often, they dont. its just the way of it) like somebody here had said, find ur tribe). then learning to express urself is another problem, especially for us aspergerians. i still am learning. all my previous experience has proven to be in a wrong direction. and learning to trust people again, too. aint got any ready answers, ya. im trying. i see u have figured something out here. i hope it helps u)))

I think said tribe found me but we're still learning each other's languages. For that matter I'm not sure if anyone in such a tribe communicates similarly at all. Perhaps that's our very definition of tribe.

Objectively I'm not sure I ever exactly 'click' with anybody. It's like I can only begin the process of actually reading someone after they've made assessments of me. I still need to work out the best ways to keep in contact with friends who follow this pattern. All of us need less social pressure. I have to approach others without concerning them with arbitrary definitions of (& presumptions about) this so-called disability.

I think it's that or I may not see most of them again.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

well, i make my own assessments. i get better at noting sighns of ND in people i meet. and well, i trust ND ppl better. i know NT can be trustworthy as it comes, but i still have that weakness of easier trusting a deliberate psychopath, than a perfectly normal guy. perfectly normal people tend to hurt u, and not ever see or hear it. as to figuring out how to interface with ppl, well its a personal process. cant really give any useful advice, it only comes with experience, and we gain that at a handycap cost. u are trying to communicate irl, at that. that is something i just dont do... but i wish u success.

All things considered I think knowing anybody at all feels successful to me.

I'm also of the opinion that the people I'm most vulnerable to are worth keeping in my life whatever they may do with me, I'm more cool about that than I am taking the same risks around relative strangers. Most of my friends are extremely intense people, some of us myself included are exposed to some wild/scary things pretty regularly.

Thanks for all the help sanity checking myself, hopefully four pages in my thread is of use to more than one of us on here.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

u are very welcome. i am glad this is helping. and yes, i am gaining here as well, so thank you too ^^
some of my gain is plain - getting to try to understand somebody means, that i get better at it, even if only by a margin. some lies in mystical sphere ^^ i am ur guardian demon, and i will be here)

I think were I a guardian demon I'd manifest as some kind of benevolent virus.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos