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Kitty4670
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04 Dec 2018, 9:37 pm

How many things you need in common with a guy? Can eye glasses be something in common with? Can any writing be something in common with? I posted alot, cuz I have no one to talk to.



kraftiekortie
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04 Dec 2018, 9:42 pm

If you like the same rock band, you got something in common. If you like the same books, you have something in common. If you grew up in the same town, you got something in common.

If you have the same views on life, you have something in common.

Many people wear eyeglasses these days; just because some guy wears eyeglasses doesn't mean you have "something in common."



AngelRho
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04 Dec 2018, 10:01 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
How many things you need in common with a guy? Can eye glasses be something in common with? Can any writing be something in common with? I posted alot, cuz I have no one to talk to.

You only need two things in common: 1) He values you at least as much as you value yourself. 2) You reciprocate.



sly279
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04 Dec 2018, 11:00 pm

I have a Similar problem but with women



BeaArthur
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04 Dec 2018, 11:24 pm

I used to laugh at personals ads (this was before dating apps) where a guy said he likes hunting, fishing, and tractor pulls. Nothing wrong with those things, but there are relatively few women who list those as top hobbies.


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jimmy m
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05 Dec 2018, 12:03 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
How many things you need in common with a guy? Can eye glasses be something in common with? Can any writing be something in common with? I posted alot, cuz I have no one to talk to.


Since you posted this in the "Love and Dating" column, I am interpreting this question in relationship to love, dating and marriage.

In that viewpoint, I would say that core values are important.
Consider that there are a few topics that can flame threads on a board. It is areas like religion, politics, conservative vs. liberal viewpoint. In topics that are very polarized and the intensity in which a person is entrenched in supporting their viewpoint without compromise, these areas can lead to great discord between couples.

So imagine a couple. He likes to hunt and fish. She doesn't like hunting or fishing but it is O.K. if he goes off on the weekend to hunt or fish. She might even come along and keep him company and make dinner over an open fire. It is not polarized so they are fine together.

Now imagine another couple. He likes to hunt and fish. She is a vegetarian and considers his actions as akin to murder. This will not work. Their core values are exact opposites. There will be problems ahead for this type of couple.

It doesn't mean that all their core values must match, but most need to, otherwise the couple will argue and argue and argue.


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Darmok
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05 Dec 2018, 12:08 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I used to laugh at personals ads (this was before dating apps) where a guy said he likes hunting, fishing, and tractor pulls. Nothing wrong with those things, but there are relatively few women who list those as top hobbies.

*makes note to change the wording of his next personals ad*

I learn so many useful things here! :D


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Raleigh
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05 Dec 2018, 12:11 am

*googles tractor pulling*


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Kitty4670
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05 Dec 2018, 1:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you like the same rock band, you got something in common. If you like the same books, you have something in common. If you grew up in the same town, you got something in common.

If you have the same views on life, you have something in common.

Many people wear eyeglasses these days; just because some guy wears eyeglasses doesn't mean you have "something in common."



I have my fave singer in common with one man, I’m not talking to him anymore :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: I’m moving on, I’m talking to other guys :D



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Dec 2018, 3:40 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I used to laugh at personals ads (this was before dating apps) where a guy said he likes hunting, fishing, and tractor pulls. Nothing wrong with those things, but there are relatively few women who list those as top hobbies.


I am laughing at your silly post actually (gently put), but I am not surprised since it's coming from you.

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong of one listing hobbies even if they happen to be not common among the opposite sex. I would surely not laugh at a woman's ad listing nail polishing as one of her hobbies for instance.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Dec 2018, 3:50 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
How many things you need in common with a guy? Can eye glasses be something in common with? Can any writing be something in common with? I posted alot, cuz I have no one to talk to.



Attraction is by far more important than a list of "Things in common".

There's almost always things in common between any two individuals.



that1weirdgrrrl
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05 Dec 2018, 4:21 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
If you like the same rock band, you got something in common. If you like the same books, you have something in common. If you grew up in the same town, you got something in common.

If you have the same views on life, you have something in common.

Many people wear eyeglasses these days; just because some guy wears eyeglasses doesn't mean you have "something in common."



I have my fave singer in common with one man, I’m not talking to him anymore :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: I’m moving on, I’m talking to other guys :D


You're doing great. Resilience is important


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hurtloam
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05 Dec 2018, 4:35 pm

I think the things in common are more vague than narrowing it down to liking the same band. I would say a thing in common would be you both like going to see live music. I love music enough to go and see practically anything suggested to me... but not Coldplay... never Coldplay... He can like Coldplay, I just can't be in the room at the same time.

I've just realised I'm in danger of just listing things I like doing. But I like Jimmy's answer about beong able to combine interests and spend time together. I think it's most important that you enjoy spending time together. That way you can compromise and spend time together doing things that one really loves and the other finds a bit meh. The important thing is that you're enjoying time together.

I Think with online dating or regular texting is whether the flow of conversation is easy. Do you enjoy talking to each other?



hurtloam
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05 Dec 2018, 4:38 pm

Btw post as much as you want. We're here to listen. I dont often respond because i dont often have an answer. Im not great at this dating stuff, but i do read your threads.



sly279
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05 Dec 2018, 6:49 pm

Raleigh wrote:
*googles tractor pulling*

Google mudding too
Quite a few women mention it in their profiles
Guess it’s driving a truck through mud for fun 0.o

Lots of men and women like that where I live
I’m not country
We have city women(mostly liberals) and country women(mostly conservative)

My area sucks for poor disabled men



sly279
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05 Dec 2018, 6:51 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
If you like the same rock band, you got something in common. If you like the same books, you have something in common. If you grew up in the same town, you got something in common.

If you have the same views on life, you have something in common.

Many people wear eyeglasses these days; just because some guy wears eyeglasses doesn't mean you have "something in common."



I have my fave singer in common with one man, I’m not talking to him anymore :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: I’m moving on, I’m talking to other guys :D


I envy you