A Question About Tone In Your Voice ?

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SaveFerris
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06 Dec 2018, 12:20 pm

I have been accused multiple times of being bad-tempered because of the tone in my voice.

Even answering a simple question like "Yes, I've tried that"

Has anyone else had someone mention that the tone of their voice suggests you are bad-tempered when you are not.

It's starting to become a bit of a problem and as a result makes me bad tempered so the accuser can usually go - see , you were bad tempered :roll:


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kraftiekortie
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06 Dec 2018, 12:23 pm

I would have to say that, based on my experience, "tone of voice" is very important.

I have watch my "tone of voice" all the time.

Maybe to the point where I might sound too "diplomatic" or "sheeple-like," or whatever.

But that's better than seeming like you're arrogant, or you want to punch somebody.



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06 Dec 2018, 12:50 pm

I have to be careful with this too. People think I'm disinterested or bored when I'm actually quite interested. Sometimes I think it would be better if people asked me how I feel rather than guessing based on intonation which is fairly meaningless for me. But people don't because, I gather, in NT life the way a person says something does carry information for them.

Thinking about this in terms of telecommunications it's like I communicate using a single signal pushed out on a carrier wave - my signal is my words and my voice and intonation are just there to get the sounds to go to someone elses ears, they hold no information of their own. But NT people put out their signal which holds some information in their words and then they also put out other information about their feelings in the carrier wave itself. It's kind of cool to use the carrier wave for informational purposes but it's practically irritating too because I can't pick it up.

PS: I wonder if people have ever thought to encode secondary signals in carrier waves to get information moved around secretly? That would be excellent.


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Joe90
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06 Dec 2018, 12:52 pm

I've often had people say that I'm "moaning" when I'm just talking, even if I say it in a flat, matter-of-fact sort of way. But once a person has told me to stop moaning a couple of times, that word sticks and they start to assume I'm moaning when I'm not. That is very frustrating when you want to express your feelings.


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Trueno
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06 Dec 2018, 1:20 pm

I find it very difficult to have a tone of voice that reflects my mood. Sometimes it's easier to say nowt.


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SaveFerris
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06 Dec 2018, 1:29 pm

^ I gather you also get asked if you are o.k when nothing is wrong


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KingExplosionMurder
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06 Dec 2018, 1:56 pm

I have gotten the infamous "Don't use that tone of voice with me!" and "Don't give me an attitude!" more times than I can recall, despite me answering normally most of the time. :lol:



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06 Dec 2018, 2:09 pm

Sometimes people assume I'm moaning when I'm just stating bare facts.

I do have to make a bit of an effort to adjust my voice at times, and vary the modulation.


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06 Dec 2018, 2:18 pm

That happened to me about 5 minutes ago.



Edna3362
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06 Dec 2018, 7:29 pm

Yes. :lol: Sometimes people thought I'm angry, confronting or something.


But my tone AND accent gets weird sometimes. That people would thought I'm not from around here.
Even the 'angry' tones to some renders inoffensive and assume I just brought up from somewhere else.


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HighLlama
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07 Dec 2018, 5:31 am

Edna3362 wrote:
Yes. :lol: Sometimes people thought I'm angry, confronting or something.


But my tone AND accent gets weird sometimes. That people would thought I'm not from around here.
Even the 'angry' tones to some renders inoffensive and assume I just brought up from somewhere else.


I definitely have to watch my tone, which is very annoying. I've also had people notice an accent they can't place. I would guess it's a mixture of flat affect and what vocal inflections I've borrowed from various people.


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07 Dec 2018, 11:11 am

HighLlama wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Yes. :lol: Sometimes people thought I'm angry, confronting or something.


But my tone AND accent gets weird sometimes. That people would thought I'm not from around here.
Even the 'angry' tones to some renders inoffensive and assume I just brought up from somewhere else.


I definitely have to watch my tone, which is very annoying. I've also had people notice an accent they can't place. I would guess it's a mixture of flat affect and what vocal inflections I've borrowed from various people.



I can relate. I've had my friends and sister tell me I have a weird accent they can't place and that I don't really sound like where we're from. Also, having to be conscious of my tone is so freaking annoying, especially since I already have to put effort into articulating myself.



Trueno
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07 Dec 2018, 11:19 am

SaveFerris wrote:
^ I gather you also get asked if you are o.k when nothing is wrong


Ha! That's an understatement.

Interesting comments about accents. People often can't place me. I'm clearly not from round here, so people sometimes assume I'm posh... now that is really funny.


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HighLlama
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07 Dec 2018, 3:41 pm

KingExplosionMurder wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Yes. :lol: Sometimes people thought I'm angry, confronting or something.


But my tone AND accent gets weird sometimes. That people would thought I'm not from around here.
Even the 'angry' tones to some renders inoffensive and assume I just brought up from somewhere else.


I definitely have to watch my tone, which is very annoying. I've also had people notice an accent they can't place. I would guess it's a mixture of flat affect and what vocal inflections I've borrowed from various people.



I can relate. I've had my friends and sister tell me I have a weird accent they can't place and that I don't really sound like where we're from. Also, having to be conscious of my tone is so freaking annoying, especially since I already have to put effort into articulating myself.


Oh my God, the articulation--I'm okay in short bursts, if I don't have a lot of stress. But, I will slip into spoonerisms or have difficulty with certain words if there's a lot going on. It's embarrassing.


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09 Dec 2018, 5:06 pm

I have had a lot of these things happen to me as well.

On the other hand, I sometimes apologize for sounding short-tempered when others can't distinguish anything but a regular tone. Mostly, people ask if I'm okay, and most of the time I am.