I feel like I'm not being myself and this is exhausting.

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Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,235

21 Dec 2018, 4:22 pm

KingExplosionMurder wrote:
I'm at the point where I don't know what my "normal" self is like because I'm so used to masking and acting like others that I find that I've sealed off the more "unacceptable" parts of my personality. I'm slowly starting to find myself, though, it just takes a lot of time, frustration, patience and acceptance. The one friend I feel as though I can truly be myself around is my girlfriend that I've known since we were 9 (and whom I suspect is on the spectrum). We grew up together, and went through all the confusing and awkward social stuff together. It helps if you can find somebody to relate to; whether it's in real life or online.

I also find rekindling some of my old interests helps me be myself more, helps me remember the days where I wasn't trying to be something I wasn't.

Nothing to add, except I feel the same difficulty in seeing my "normal" self again, and this is a wonderful post. Thank you.

Unofficially human.