How do I better identify a homosexual/bisexual person?

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Grammar Geek
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19 Dec 2018, 7:45 pm

I’m bisexual and have no “gaydar.” Whenever I hear another person is gay or bisexual, I’m always surprised because I had no idea, whereas everyone else just knew it without the person saying anything. I’d really like to know some specific things to look for. I’ve read a few things, like men who pay a lot of attention to their grooming are more likely to be gay, but I would think most men pay attention to that. I’ve seen people mention gait, but they don’t explain how the way they walk is different. I know that even if I successfully identify a gay or bisexual man, actually getting a relationship would be even harder, but I won’t cross that bridge until I can even identify someone’s sexuality, or at least make an educated guess!

Also, I told a friend I was bisexual and asked if I looked or acted that way, and he said I didn’t. It’s odd, because in junior high, I’d be called gay all the time, but I didn’t even know my own sexuality then. Now that I know I’m bisexual, nobody can tell.



kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2018, 7:49 pm

They couldn't tell in junior high, either.

They don't call you a "fa***t" because they think you're gay. They call you a "fa***t" because they just want to bully you.

Or they call you "gay" because they want to bully you. Or just to insult you in general.



AlterEgo25
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03 Jan 2019, 1:25 pm

I don't think there are specific criteria that you can look for, or at least no criteria that works 100% of the time. As a lesbian I know there are certain stereotypes that can point me in the right direction of other lesbians and bisexual women. However, I also know that those stereotypes aren't always correct or the individual might not believe they are correct. For instance, they may dress or act a certain stereotypical way and are straight, out, in the closet, questioning, or (as was my case 2 years ago) completely in the dark about their own sexual preferences. That being said, for lesbians I've heard it's all about the eye contact. I guess because in bars and other places like that eye contact isn't expected by people who aren't trying to get into each others pants. A straight girl isn't going to seek eye contact from me across the room but a lesbian or bi woman might. The whole eye contact thing blows but I find that I can do it I will myself and tell myself I'm playing the part of flirty stud. I don't know if this helps you at all but I wish you luck.