Wrong thing to say?

Post Reply New Topic

I find it’s hard to be friends with someone who supports something that would directly harm me.
It’s be like a Jew being friends with a nazi saying we may disagree but we get along, except his Nazi friend supports policy that would see him killed.

Politics for most people tend to be a all or nothing
Most liberals refuse to be friends with people they claim are racist nazis.

I won’t be friends with people who want to strip my rights and see disabled people as dangerous sub human threats.
I discuss politics cause I think it’s better to know where people stand then have friends who secretly hate eveything you are and stand for. But if you want to get along it’s better to be quite and completely give in to others beleifes and ideas like my sister says.

Mean could you date or be friends with someone who hates disabled people?
Mean they support policy to lock disabled up in mental hospital and defund welfare cause disabled people are just parasites
Sounds lot like nazis calling us worthless eaters
Socialism isn’t has bad conflict political belief.
I think most people agree with its ideas they just disagree on it being possible.

If you own guns you can’t be friends with someone who wants to ban guns.

I have a friend at work who is an anarchist. If you ask him he'll talk your ear off about how anarchy is the only "right" way to run a country. He's even got a whole system set up in his head. The problem is that his theories can be disproven just by saying "Humanity sucks." His whole system revolves around the idea that everyone will be nice and perfect to each other just because that's what they're supposed to do. He ignores the fact that there are a hundred carious ways some douche bag could take advantage of his system and end up with the political power he's not supposed to have. For example: you need power? This guy builds and therefore owns the only power plant. That means he has political power over everyone who wants electricity. If he wanted he could make demands and threaten to take power away if he didn't get what he wanted. But according to my friend that'll never happen because that's just not how people would behave in "his" system.

My point being that we're still friends but if he insisted on being more vocal about this than he already is I couldn't be friends with him anymore because these ideas reveal how (being honest here) stupid a person he is and the fact that he's absolutely closed off to better and more intelligent ideas.

Why does that mean you couldn't be friends? I mean fair enough if he preaches these ideas to you and refuses to stop even though you've indicated countless times that you're not going to agree with him, that would be annoying. But I don't think him just having a difference of opinion is basis enough to stop being friends. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say he's stupid for believing in anarchism, though I see the same flaws with it that you probably do. I think naive is a more appropriate word, but then I don't know him personally either.

With my socialist friend, until he starts impacting legislation with silly socialist concepts that are going to negatively affect my life, or unless he gets really preachy and refuses to accept that we have differences of opinion, I see no reason to stop being his friend.

I have a friend who is totally communist.

And I think communism is stupid and he knows it.

Because his ideas are objectively wrong. A system of government (if you can even call it that) set up like this simply wouldn't work. Anyone with a little common sense can tell you that. But he still insists it would work and that's how everyone should be living no matter how many wholes you poke in his logic. He'll even insult other people's political beliefs and then follow it up with crap like "If you were an anarchist like me you'd understand why." So not only is he an idiot but he's an idiot convinced that he's the only person who isn't an idiot. And sometimes it feels like I'm degrading myself just by being around him. Like I said he doesn't bring it up often but every time he does I seriously consider just walking away and never talking to him again.

Well, you simply can’t be friends with some political views after all, I wouldn’t be friend with a nazi for example.
There’s usually a political common ground even with the friends with totally different political affiliations.

But yeah, generally politics and religions are things better to be avoided, but it’s not that what i referred to as technicalities - I was referring to details in things like cars, car parts, computer parts, gadgets, movies, celebs, football players, news .... any topic you may imagine other than religion and politics, we often ‘correct’ each other on those things, and explain why.

But of course, all of us know that the penguin is not a fish.

It's just not wise for a man to correct a woman when they are first talking to each other.

Yes....of course men correct each other all the time. Argue all the time......but it's amongst men!

This is a man who just started talking to a woman on the Internet.

Yeah, this is one thing a lot of smart people don't seem to realize. People don't like constantly being corrected. They just want to chat and have fun. When I'm talking with girls I don't correct them unless they're making it obvious they're looking for facts rather than just socializing.

Well then I guess let's all just get used to misinformation becoming the new truth since correcting mistakes is considered "unwise" and "rude."

You were talking about video games. The world isn't going to go to Hell if you don't make absolutely sure this girl knows the difference between an RPG and action/horror game. People don't like being corrected over trivial BS, alright? If you absolutely have to make sure everyone always knows the truth about everything, then enjoy being alone.

I corrected her about one thing and it was a thing she was supposedly really passionate about. If I was playing a Gears of War game and I called it an FPS (First Person Shooter) why would I get mad if someone informed me it was actually a third person shooter? If I didn't understand at first and assumed that all shooters were FPSs they could explain why exactly it was called a first person shooter (the specific camera viewpoint) and how that doesn't apply to third person games. I would be grateful because I'd learned something new about the hobby I spend most of my free time doing.

Oops! I mean... how dare they? I don't care about the difference between FPS and TPS! I'm so offended that they tried to teach me something about something I care about that I don't think I'll ever talk to them again! Ignorance is bliss and knowledge is a curse! This is normal healthy behavior!

You’re beating a dead horse.

It wasn’t in the cards, anyway.

There are many women gamers around.

I was trying to find a song with the line "its not what you said it's the way that you said it", but it seems the Matrix has reloaded and that song doesnt exist online. So this will do instead.

Yeah, people aren't generally all that keen on being corrected, and it's even worse if you go on, and on, and on about it like the 'TL;DR' in the OP's post would indicate that he did. If you must correct someone, do it once and if they don't accept the information you're giving them, drop the subject and talk about something else, if you want to cultivate a relationship with someone, it's better to be personable and keep the conversation light-hearted rather than insisting that you're right and they're wrong, even if that is the case, or you risk coming off as a 'know-it-all' who cares more about being right about everything than about building and maintaining relationships, but I guess you've got to discern what matters more to you, though Sabreclaw is quite right that 'know-it-alls' are great at making potential partners run away. When you're in a relationship, people are more inclined to listen to you correcting them if you do so respectfully.

Something I always tend to do when arguing with people about politics and the like is keep in the back of my mind that they might know something that I don't, even if I'm 99.9% sure that I'm right and they're wrong. It helps you remain humble, and actually listen to what they have to say rather than just shouting them down because you're sure you know better, and in my experience it's conducive to much more productive conversations. I don't think I've ever gotten into a screaming match with anyone over politics or religion or any of the like, and I'd attribute that to remaining humble and listening to what others have to say rather than shouting them down or telling them that they can't possibly be right.

Sometimes being right about something as trivial as videogames isn't the most important thing in the world.

It was probably one thing she was not really passionate about but just liked as a pastime. If she was very passionate about it she'd have known what an RPG is unless maybe if she only took an interest in it recently. It may not be a hobby she spends most of her free-time doing either.
It is however one thing you are very passionate about and one thing you take serious.

I can't tell from your original post who I think is overreacting or made a social mistake as it is a summary of a conversation from your point of view.
Generally yes, you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who overreacts and gets furious whenever you correct them. You can see it as you dodged a bullet instead of as you missed an opportunity if her reaction was unreasonable.
However, a first conversation to get to know someone may not be the situation where people are most willing to be corrected or to enter lengthy conversations about technicalities unless maybe if it is a topic both are truly very passionate about. Therefore you may want to consider whether this was just one neurotic person or if this is a pattern likely to repeat due to something you do that people generally don't like. In that case you could still choose if you want to change something about your approach or look for the rare person who doesn't mind.

Generally if I was wrong about something similar to what an RPG is and someone corrected me in maybe three sentences I wouldn't mind.
If someone wrote me a 1k words essay in response or sent 10 links that'd be off putting because it seems obsessive or indicates that I'd have to expect a lot of strange reactions from him in the future.
If his response to my lack of knowledge seemed angry or full of condescension that'd also be off putting. It'd indicate that he looks down on everyone who doesn't know everything he does - and possible perceives every knowledge another person has that he doesn't as boring or unimportant - or that he assigns an unreasonably high importance to something that's really not that earth-shattering in which case he'll need someone equally as obsessed as him.

Your women vs men observation is very true on this one.