I'm realizing ~

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I guess I'm not really seen as anti-fun although the intensity of what I do & how I think about it freaks everyone out, including me.

I think I have to do something to make this more acceptable or I'm going to be on my own entirely.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Well you can hardly be the only guy in the world doing the sort of work you're doing.

Someone has to do it...

I would never denigrate someone's chosen field, however arcane and difficult to relate to I might find it.

Well it's actually a fairly large industry, part of what concerns me about that is the fact that I don't even remotely seem like any kind of corporate person. I'm a hippie, which considering what I do must be very confusing & possibly off-putting to people who know me. I think I'm something of a walking contradiction so I'm trying to find more common ground with people who don't live, eat, sleep & breathe electronics, engineering & global trade.

I need to focus on people more than machines but that doesn't seem to be what anyone wants.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

In my experience computer people are very seldom corporate people.

My friend never liked the "people" aspect of the company when he was working, such as "team building".

Well that much is true, I have to hide my extreme shyness in meetings & thus far I've avoided the only work club I was considering (mountain biking) out of sheer exhaustion from my job as well as social anxiety. I work with good people though that in no way changes how close friends respond to something that takes years to explain. I'm more or less an inside-out rocket scientist, except for the formal training. I'm humbled to know anybody at all considering how much energy I spend learning & working but I feel like I'm becoming more distant unless I can manage to make this stuff fun for everyone.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I used to work in a people industry, i still hated the corporate stuff.
I still have PTSD from a team building exercise they sent me to years ago.

Luckily my work is at least somewhat laid back. I think I've felt more traumatized lately just forcing myself to wake up & go to meetings, I actually sort of like the corporate camaraderie even though it's really not my style. I'm lucky enough to be in a very accepting company that actually hired me for my autism, which I'll probably never get used to even though I want a permanent job there.

I'm a gold mine in terms of unconventional wisdom & esoteric technical knowledge, but without anyone digging into my subconscious I feel useless.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

What about some good old fashioned anarchist team building?

I'm taking life way too seriously. Everything will work itself out provided everybody lives to witness that.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

can you tell me how anarchist team building functions? that might be above my pay grade.

In the case of the loose-knit hippie clan that more or less adopted me, one thing we've done is smashing large things with mid-evil implements at a burner fest in the desert here. I'd say that worked wonders although it's not even remotely safe.

When I say anarchy in this subforum I'm mostly referring to my complete disregard for how everyone keeps saying relationships should function. How very successfully their logic is demonstrated. /S The idea is if I can stop expecting things to ever be normal, the more margin I create to make things better.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

there are some unusual relationships out there, that can boggle the minds of all outsiders. circumstances can make for some strange bedfellows sometimes.

You're telling me - I've developed an awareness lately that I just trust who I trust. I have some good reasons & there's not a whole lot else I need to know if I'm honest. I don't really care who anybody dates, I'm nearly asexual, I simply care about who managed to get through to me. No one else is owed an explanation. They don't want my honest answer about that anyway.

I think I owe someone an eventual break from the maddening pace of dating apps & technology proliferation. I've lived with that stuff for longer than most anyone I know & I got over it a lot sooner as a result. In the context of all of us being treated as investment capital for data mining & advertising, I believe we're alienated from those we love most first when we go against that grain.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

aside from my kinfolk, you all are my people.

Not all as I found out

Mods please lock this before the inevitable feuding unless you have anything to add so my thread doesn't die.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos