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hurtloam
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18 Jan 2019, 3:15 am

It has come to my attention that many see therapy as just talking and talking about how you feel with no purpose other than to get it all out and have a good cry.

I am advocating therapy with a purpose. I've realised I was really lucky to have found a good therapist who had a plan to work towards goals. I responded well to that. If it had been talking for the sake of it I wouldn't have seen the point of that.

I think a good therapist will listen and find out what your perspective on things is and point out where you are deluding yourself. Like a reality check and help you work on improving your outlook.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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18 Jan 2019, 3:47 am

hurtloam wrote:
It has come to my attention that many see therapy as just talking and talking about how you feel with no purpose other than to get it all out and have a good cry.

I am advocating therapy with a purpose. I've realised I was really lucky to have found a good therapist who had a plan to work towards goals. I responded well to that. If it had been talking for the sake of it I wouldn't have seen the point of that.

I think a good therapist will listen and find out what your perspective on things is and point out where you are deluding yourself. Like a reality check and help you work on improving your outlook.


That's been my experience too, that it's not just talking. I usually came away from my appointments with homework/reading assignments. Then the next session we would discuss what I learned from the exercises/reading and move on to the next step.

He's promoting misinformation about what therapy actually is, it's exactly what incels do on their forums to discourage other incels from seeking help. It's the crab bucket mentality.



Fnord
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18 Jan 2019, 10:24 am

^ That's why anyone who goes into Talk Therapy should state a specific goal -- what they hope to achieve from each session.



Hollywood_Guy
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18 Jan 2019, 2:10 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
There are people here with serious mental health issues commorbid with their autism like depression and anxiety. Telling them that therapy will harm them or that therapists want to hurt them is dangerous for people who can really benefit from therapy. Therapists can also help teach social skills, which many autistic people can benefit from. I know therapy has helped me a lot in my life and many others too.

Also the "ask a fisherman" idiom is common in the PUA/Redpill/incel community and is pretty misogynistic. It means don't listen to women, don't ask women what they want or what they think, because men know better than women do what women think and what they want. Stop trying to push your PUA garbage ideology here.

Why should men and women police each other like that?

The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.



Fnord
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18 Jan 2019, 2:16 pm

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
... The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.
No.

"Misogyny" refers specifically to a hatred of women. It can be expanded to a general contempt for women and a dismissal of their ideas and accomplishments.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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18 Jan 2019, 5:21 pm

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
There are people here with serious mental health issues commorbid with their autism like depression and anxiety. Telling them that therapy will harm them or that therapists want to hurt them is dangerous for people who can really benefit from therapy. Therapists can also help teach social skills, which many autistic people can benefit from. I know therapy has helped me a lot in my life and many others too.

Also the "ask a fisherman" idiom is common in the PUA/Redpill/incel community and is pretty misogynistic. It means don't listen to women, don't ask women what they want or what they think, because men know better than women do what women think and what they want. Stop trying to push your PUA garbage ideology here.

Why should men and women police each other like that?

The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.


What? Who is policing who in my comment? What the hell are you talking about?



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Jan 2019, 10:54 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Well I've been single for many years now, and sexless that entire time. And I like my life. I do struggle with loneliness because I don't have a very good support system and I have a really hard time making new friends and all my old friends from school got married and had kids and drifted out of my life, but I still like my life and myself. I think the difference for me has been that I've gotten really good therapy over the years that has taught me coping skills and how to find meaning in my life even when I am alone. I don't know what else to say.

Maybe if I'd had relationships in the past to substantiate my ability to get into relationships and give me some hope that it's a possibility for the future, I'd be more at-ease about going a fairly long time without having one, but my first relationship is a milestone that I've wanted to reach for years, feel like I should have already reached by now, but still haven't, and that instills the fear in me that I may never be good enough for someone to want to be in a relationship with, after all there's no precedent set to the contrary. I think most heterosexual guys would be devastated if they never got to experience a romantic relationship with a woman, and I think if we look at guys for whom that is the reality, we can see that there is a tendency for that to be the case. I'm not completely against trying therapy again, as I think that now, having done a lot of introspection, work on self knowledge, and have a more established world-view, I'd be able to articulate my problems better and offer better responses to questions. The difficult part is finding an affordable and compatible therapist within a reasonable distance from me (no car) and that I'd be able to fit into my five-day work week. I don't think a therapist is absolutely necessary for me to get where I need to be, but at the same time could probably be helpful.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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18 Jan 2019, 11:09 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
There are people here with serious mental health issues commorbid with their autism like depression and anxiety. Telling them that therapy will harm them or that therapists want to hurt them is dangerous for people who can really benefit from therapy. Therapists can also help teach social skills, which many autistic people can benefit from. I know therapy has helped me a lot in my life and many others too.

Also the "ask a fisherman" idiom is common in the PUA/Redpill/incel community and is pretty misogynistic. It means don't listen to women, don't ask women what they want or what they think, because men know better than women do what women think and what they want. Stop trying to push your PUA garbage ideology here.

Why should men and women police each other like that?

The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.


What? Who is policing who in my comment? What the hell are you talking about?


Hello? Am I going to get an explanation for your comment to me?



funeralxempire
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19 Jan 2019, 12:32 am

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.


This seems to be a common talking point among misogynists.

Replace 'misogyny' with other forms of bigotry and this is one of the default talking points bigots keep dishonestly using these days.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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19 Jan 2019, 12:35 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
The word misogyny has become meaningless with how much it's needlessly thrown around today.


This seems to be a common talking point among misogynists.

Replace 'misogyny' with other forms of bigotry and this is one of the default talking points bigots keep dishonestly using these days.


It does seem dishonest, as he won't even explain his comment to me. Why start a discussion with me by quoting me and then not answer my questions asking him to clarify his post?



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19 Jan 2019, 1:04 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It does seem dishonest, as he won't even explain his comment to me. Why start a discussion with me by quoting me and then not answer my questions asking him to clarify his post?
Now you know how I felt during therapy sessions. :P Very seldom, if ever, did I get coherent solutions to my problems.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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19 Jan 2019, 1:28 am

Aspie1 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It does seem dishonest, as he won't even explain his comment to me. Why start a discussion with me by quoting me and then not answer my questions asking him to clarify his post?
Now you know how I felt during therapy sessions. :P Very seldom, if ever, did I get coherent solutions to my problems.


How many times do I need to tell you that you make me uncomfortable? I've had a very different experience with therapy from you, that's been established. Please leave me alone.



Aspie1
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19 Jan 2019, 1:36 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
It does seem dishonest, as he won't even explain his comment to me. Why start a discussion with me by quoting me and then not answer my questions asking him to clarify his post?
Now you know how I felt during therapy sessions. :P Very seldom, if ever, did I get coherent solutions to my problems.


How many times do I need to tell you that you make me uncomfortable? I've had a very different experience with therapy from you, that's been established. Please leave me alone.
Will do.