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I’m So Excited

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Kitty4670
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12 Jan 2019, 7:56 am

I’m talking to a new man now, he is not in the Army :D He didn’t talk about sex, we are just talking & getting to know each other :D :D :D :D :D I met him on OkCupid 4 days ago, he is a nice guy, he is patience with me :D I really like him & he really like me too. He knows about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers, Psoriasis & Dyslexia.



IsabellaLinton
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12 Jan 2019, 11:13 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
I’m talking to a new man now, he is not in the Army :D He didn’t talk about sex, we are just talking & getting to know each other :D :D :D :D :D I met him on OkCupid 4 days ago, he is a nice guy, he is patience with me :D I really like him & he really like me too. He knows about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers, Psoriasis & Dyslexia.


It's nice that you told him your diagnoses but also be careful with that. Many people could view your conditions as evidence that you are vulnerable or an easy target for emotional, financial or sexual manipulation. They won't know exactly what the conditions are but they might think you are impressionable or not very smart. I'd start asking them what they've learned or read about CP and ASD. If they are interested in pursuing a relationship they should also be reading about your diagnoses to better support you. Make them accountable to understanding you, not just feeling sorry for you or seeing it as a vulnerability.

Me: "So, have you done any research on CP?" "What is your understanding of CP and how it affects people?"

Me: "Do you know any other people / women with ASD? Where were they on the spectrum? Were their needs similar to mine or different? What have you noticed about my particular needs?"

Of course you don't want it to sound like a job interview, but it's reasonable to ask these types of questions.


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PearlsofWisdom
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14 Jan 2019, 9:44 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:

He did say that he feels a connection with me. I’m ending it talking to him.


A connection can be many things. Question is, do you want to find out if it's real or not?
Say your going away for a few days and you'll be back when you'll be back. If its genuine he'll wait, if he doesn't message you any more, then think it's his loss and move on. There has to be some interests but be careful like everyone here is saying. If it's meant to be it'll be.



auntblabby
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14 Jan 2019, 11:13 pm

be careful Kitty.



Kitty4670
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16 Jan 2019, 12:16 am

What if the man I’m talking to is a good guy.



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2019, 12:25 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
What if the man I’m talking to is a good guy.

I guess it is like a crapshoot in terms of picking a good one or not. just saying you can learn discernment the hard way [hard experience], or you can try something safer such as meeting people in church or other social club, where you can see them in person and they can see you in person. and if they come on too strong in the beginning, that is a big warning sign.



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16 Jan 2019, 1:38 am

auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
What if the man I’m talking to is a good guy.

I guess it is like a crapshoot in terms of picking a good one or not. just saying you can learn discernment the hard way [hard experience], or you can try something safer such as meeting people in church or other social club, where you can see them in person and they can see you in person. and if they come on too strong in the beginning, that is a big warning sign.


@Kitty4670:

We're not necessarily saying "Go into the relationship full of suspicion and mistrust." But if something seems 'off' or makes you uncomfortable, it's always a good idea to get a second opinion from someone you trust.



Kitty4670
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16 Jan 2019, 11:22 pm

People sure can make things harder for me. Why can people be happy for me? There other people here that on dating sites & I don’t read be careful or he is a scam artist. I thought this is a site where you get support from your friends?



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2019, 11:28 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
People sure can make things harder for me. Why can people be happy for me? There other people here that on dating sites & I don’t read be careful or he is a scam artist. I thought this is a site where you get support from your friends?

I am sorry :( it was not my intent to be a spoil sport or a killjoy, we are just worried for you as there are lots of predators out there. it is a dangerous world and one must be careful and vigilant and discerning if one wants to avoid trouble. I would be very happy if the fella was good for you but in this case there is insufficient data so I worry, one aspie to another, one aspie for another.



IsabellaLinton
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16 Jan 2019, 11:38 pm

Kitty,
I can only speak for myself, but I worry about your vulnerability because it's obvious you are new to dating. You have admitted many times on WP that you don't have much experience with men, you aren't sure how to read their intentions, you don't know how to "play the game" (example: "Is he my boyfriend?" "Why isn't he speaking to me after two days?"), you are unsure about basics of sexual innuendo, and you've already been scammed for money or deceived by people online. That's why I worry, and it's likely why other people worry as well.


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Kitty4670
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16 Jan 2019, 11:41 pm

Ambrose_Rotten wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
What if the man I’m talking to is a good guy.

I guess it is like a crapshoot in terms of picking a good one or not. just saying you can learn discernment the hard way [hard experience], or you can try something safer such as meeting people in church or other social club, where you can see them in person and they can see you in person. and if they come on too strong in the beginning, that is a big warning sign.


@Kitty4670:

We're not necessarily saying "Go into the relationship full of suspicion and mistrust." But if something seems 'off' or makes you uncomfortable, it's always a good idea to get a second opinion from someone you trust.



The guy I’m talking to is a good guy, he been caring, patience with me, he never pressure me into anything, we met on OkCupid 8 days ago. I told him about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers & Psoriasis, I even told him that I watch kid shows & cartoons, he still talking to me. We been taking things slowly, we been texting almost all day everyday. It’s not like he can come to visit me, he lives in UK & I live in California.



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2019, 11:51 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Ambrose_Rotten wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
What if the man I’m talking to is a good guy.

I guess it is like a crapshoot in terms of picking a good one or not. just saying you can learn discernment the hard way [hard experience], or you can try something safer such as meeting people in church or other social club, where you can see them in person and they can see you in person. and if they come on too strong in the beginning, that is a big warning sign.


@Kitty4670:

We're not necessarily saying "Go into the relationship full of suspicion and mistrust." But if something seems 'off' or makes you uncomfortable, it's always a good idea to get a second opinion from someone you trust.



The guy I’m talking to is a good guy, he been caring, patience with me, he never pressure me into anything, we met on OkCupid 8 days ago. I told him about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers & Psoriasis, I even told him that I watch kid shows & cartoons, he still talking to me. We been taking things slowly, we been texting almost all day everyday. It’s not like he can come to visit me, he lives in UK & I live in California.

people here are praying that things go the way you want them to go.



Kitty4670
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16 Jan 2019, 11:57 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
People sure can make things harder for me. Why can people be happy for me? There other people here that on dating sites & I don’t read be careful or he is a scam artist. I thought this is a site where you get support from your friends?

I am sorry :( it was not my intent to be a spoil sport or a killjoy, we are just worried for you as there are lots of predators out there. it is a dangerous world and one must be careful and vigilant and discerning if one wants to avoid trouble. I would be very happy if the fella was good for you but in this case there is insufficient data so I worry, one aspie to another, one aspie for another.




I love it that you care, this is a different guy. The guy I’m talking to is a good guy, he been caring, patience with me, he never pressure me into anything, we met on OkCupid 8 days ago. I told him about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers & Psoriasis, I even told him that I watch kid shows & cartoons, he still talking to me. We been taking things slowly, we been texting almost all day everyday. It’s not like he can come to visit me, he lives in UK & I live in California.



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2019, 11:59 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
People sure can make things harder for me. Why can people be happy for me? There other people here that on dating sites & I don’t read be careful or he is a scam artist. I thought this is a site where you get support from your friends?

I am sorry :( it was not my intent to be a spoil sport or a killjoy, we are just worried for you as there are lots of predators out there. it is a dangerous world and one must be careful and vigilant and discerning if one wants to avoid trouble. I would be very happy if the fella was good for you but in this case there is insufficient data so I worry, one aspie to another, one aspie for another.




I love it that you care, this is a different guy. The guy I’m talking to is a good guy, he been caring, patience with me, he never pressure me into anything, we met on OkCupid 8 days ago. I told him about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers & Psoriasis, I even told him that I watch kid shows & cartoons, he still talking to me. We been taking things slowly, we been texting almost all day everyday. It’s not like he can come to visit me, he lives in UK & I live in California.

:) praying for the both of you.



Kitty4670
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17 Jan 2019, 12:00 am

auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
People sure can make things harder for me. Why can people be happy for me? There other people here that on dating sites & I don’t read be careful or he is a scam artist. I thought this is a site where you get support from your friends?

I am sorry :( it was not my intent to be a spoil sport or a killjoy, we are just worried for you as there are lots of predators out there. it is a dangerous world and one must be careful and vigilant and discerning if one wants to avoid trouble. I would be very happy if the fella was good for you but in this case there is insufficient data so I worry, one aspie to another, one aspie for another.




I love it that you care, this is a different guy. The guy I’m talking to is a good guy, he been caring, patience with me, he never pressure me into anything, we met on OkCupid 8 days ago. I told him about my Cerebral Pasly, Aspergers & Psoriasis, I even told him that I watch kid shows & cartoons, he still talking to me. We been taking things slowly, we been texting almost all day everyday. It’s not like he can come to visit me, he lives in UK & I live in California.

:) praying for the both of you.



Thanks :D



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17 Jan 2019, 3:42 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Kitty,
I can only speak for myself, but I worry about your vulnerability because it's obvious you are new to dating. You have admitted many times on WP that you don't have much experience with men, you aren't sure how to read their intentions, you don't know how to "play the game" (example: "Is he my boyfriend?" "Why isn't he speaking to me after two days?"), you are unsure about basics of sexual innuendo, and you've already been scammed for money or deceived by people online. That's why I worry, and it's likely why other people worry as well.



The only way for her to learn is to date people.