I do feel jealous of other people younger than me because I'm 29 and I seem to think they are that other people who have autism and NT who are 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 and 28 are having more enjoyable lives than mine which doesn't help me either when I see it posted on social media and that I haven't been very successful and that I never graduated from university, now just working as a sales assistant in a shopping centre since age 26, not got a chosen career, still single and living at home with parents and have few friends I rarely see and only gone out with the family. I get envious of those people of the ages above who have been very successful, gone to university, graduated, got their degree, dream job and career, maybe own their own business, in a great relationship with someone and living together and have lots of friends to hang out with and having a great time, travelling, seeing sights and so on. And I feel like I have wasted some of my 20s and missed out on it all and upset at myself for not having done things like getting my job 5 years earlier and not gone out to social environments even though as I said in a thread before I don't particularly like clubs and bars. I do think people can see that I have Aspergers and intelligent and are not interested in me even when I pluck up the courage and confidence to say Hi to people, they feel awkward and think I'm a weirdo, and I look odd because how I look, and body language and my looks such as my long hair and don't find me a attractive and would prefer to go out more with someone of average intelligence who goes to a bar, works out in a gym or something than someone who reads books and stuff.
03 Jan 2019, 6:34 pm
