extreme difficulty finding suitable work

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jonesthecat
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11 Jan 2019, 1:04 am

When I was first starting out looking for work, all i could get was a part time occupation that although paid well, had bad hours late and over weekends that suddenly cut away a lot of social contacts. Since then, I had some horrible positions in retail, manual labour, and call center work that absolutely broke my moral.

The plan was this ----- get a job that pays at least average, then after practicing with enough experience, always be ready for a promotion and make it clear you are a go getter. Save up every penny into long term deposits. After about 16 years, enough money would be saved up and earning an investment income by interest though the bank that i could afford to take it easy and maybe even buy a house for myself or go to university to be qualified in a better position.

Such was my luck, that corporate culture is run by superficial jerks that ask a bunch of idiotic questions that are supposed to "get to know you better" then turn you down for no reason or only hire you as a temporary staff. I spent a great deal of time unemployed, or on standby in temping agencies, or wasting time with a training course that taught little of value and never led to a career. I unded up making more money driving a truck and doing cleaning than as anything i have been trained for.

since then, i have partially committed to my savings goal, but only by what i see as what should have been saved up in 2 or 3 years instead of 10 -15.

has anyone else felt their potential is wasted and career in ruins?



Ziemael
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11 Jan 2019, 1:27 am

Oh, can I count the ways. College 4 times, over 40 jobs. Yeah nowhere bout sums it up.



auntblabby
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11 Jan 2019, 1:44 am

jonesthecat wrote:
has anyone else felt their potential is wasted and career in ruins?


hiya Jones :) welcome to our club :alien:
I have found it to be divided roughly between the people like us, and a few higher-functioning people who look down on us. at this point I am not sure if I ever had any potential. it was just stumbling from one damned thing to another, with no real rhyme or reason.



ezbzbfcg2
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11 Jan 2019, 2:46 am

auntblabby wrote:
jonesthecat wrote:
has anyone else felt their potential is wasted and career in ruins?


hiya Jones :) welcome to our club :alien:
I have found it to be divided roughly between the people like us, and a few higher-functioning people who look down on us. at this point I am not sure if I ever had any potential. it was just stumbling from one damned thing to another, with no real rhyme or reason.


Any advice for the younger folk? Anything you wish you'd have done differently if you could go back?

I wish that I knew what I know now...when I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now...when I was stronger



auntblabby
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11 Jan 2019, 3:19 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
jonesthecat wrote:
has anyone else felt their potential is wasted and career in ruins?


hiya Jones :) welcome to our club :alien:
I have found it to be divided roughly between the people like us, and a few higher-functioning people who look down on us. at this point I am not sure if I ever had any potential. it was just stumbling from one damned thing to another, with no real rhyme or reason.


Any advice for the younger folk? Anything you wish you'd have done differently if you could go back?

I wish that I knew what I know now...when I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now...when I was stronger

don't waste the opportunities given to one. learn to be more thankful and learn to express it in a more graceful way. learn above all, HOW to think, and NOT what to think. gotta have one down pat before one is in a proper place to do the other. never neglect your own total health, give up the junk food and the refined carbs PRONTO, they have delayed BAD EFFECTS and cause premature aging and premature suffering. real suffering. try body-wide arthritis on for size. circulatory difficulties and all that entails. eschew momentary splurging pleasures and invest 90% of your spare cash in income-producing investments for the long haul, the earlier you can exit the rat race the better for your peace of mind. if you are stuck in a job you dread, do what is required to find something better even if it causes major dislocation, as bad as that would be it is still not as bad for your long-term health than persisting with a hellish job. i'd tell myself that none of us is more than human, that nobody is worth elevating upon a pedestal, no matter how attractive they are, they still have figurative feet of clay. nobody is effortlessly livable, IOW it takes real work to stay with another person in a relationship, it is not like loveydovey magic unless you're really REALLY lotto-winning scale lucky. if you are indeed lucky enough to meet "The One" then make them your 2nd priority second only to your own self. everything else is tertiary. take care of yourself like the priceless and irreplaceable thing you are, respect yourself above all which means never stooping to undignified behaviors. you all know what those are.



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11 Jan 2019, 9:17 am

I've been learning lots of social skills in the past few months I could have used when I was 30 years younger. But they are highly specific to me, and not necessarily useful for anyone else, which is why it took so long for me to figure them out.

As for useful advice, get rid of the anger. It is like playing cards. Winning is much harder if you show your opponents your cards. Same thing with anger. If you are angry it helps opponents figure out your weaknesses, which they use against you.

For most Aspies, a job is just a way of making money so you can then use that money for things you need. And hopefully there will be enough left over for things that you want, such as a hobby you find enjoyable. If not, you may need to find low cost hobbies, such as bird watching. How many birds can you see without walking more than 20 minutes from your apartment?

Equating status with your job title is just another way "the man" manipulates people. Cleaning and driving jobs seem to be good jobs for Aspies. If you find one that offers a good package of wages and benefits maybe you should plan on keeping it long term.

If you can do physical work you may want to consider getting a job installing cell phone towers. They are going to need a lot of workers to roll out the new 5G infrastructure. Not only that, they will need workers to maintain it, as tower hardware degrades in the weather.



BeaArthur
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11 Jan 2019, 11:00 am

I'm retired, but yes, I feel I did not work to my potential. Here are my observations.

Before I ever had an inkling that I had autism, which was not diagnosed until late in my working years, I noticed that I seemed to do best when I had a skill that was in demand and that I could do with relatively little interaction, and I also noticed that I sucked at office politics.

Had I known what I know now, I would have persisted in various jobs that I instead resigned from. Usually I resigned because stress became too much for me. You could call it autistic burnout or shutdown, that fits for a couple of key points in my life.

Stress management is a skill I developed over a couple decades. I recommend a younger person learn all about this, earlier. My first stress management musts were regular exercise (especially swimming) and for a high-stress situation like a final exam, a massage the day before. Later I added meditation in many different forms.

I think autistic children and teens should have training in stress management techniques, along with social skills training, sensory integration if appropriate, and the like. If you have already missed that time of life, these can all be learned as adults.

Finally, if i had been able to develop good relationships with authority figures, such as workplace mentors, academic counselors, and therapists, it would have helped me make fewer mistakes. I had a conflicted relationship with my mother and my father was detached and neglectful, though not unkind, and these early templates made it harder for me to develop those supportive relationships; but I only understood this in retrospect.


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BTDT
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11 Jan 2019, 11:06 am

I solved the family relationship issue by moving far away.



jonesthecat
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11 Jan 2019, 7:20 pm

I never will get over the fact that I was sent in circles for years chasing a pipe dream about a fancy career in the City.

When I first moved in, I was able to quickly find a job helping bank customers. in fact, i was personally thanked by the supervisor for achieving a perfect score on the training week, prior to being "buddied"with another to get me on the work experience. But within one week of completing my first night shift, i was phoned by the recruitment company that sent me there, and told i was deemed "not suitable"and "not a cultural fit" which is totally bogus since i was effectively alone most of the time in the office cubicles. This would be a repeating symptom for the ongoing years where everything is a temp assignment at best. I was even sent back for an interview with my orginal company....then rejected again.

RECRUITERS ARE ALL SCUM!! if i was able warn my previous self, i would make them steer very clear of the dodgy contractor companies that are literally robbing their clients and ripping off their workers



mindgame
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12 Jan 2019, 10:45 pm

I think I've been my own worst enemy in this regard. I have hopped from one job to another, always thinking that something better awaits me. Instead, I set myself back. Ditto with housing. I am now 55 years old. I haven't known a period of stability for most of my adult life.

It's natural, of course, to want to improve one's circumstances. But in my case, I don't give things enough time. I want instant results. And I'm paying the price for all that job hopping and moving from place to place.



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13 Jan 2019, 5:31 am

Yes, change is hard for most people on the spectrum, so it is harder for us to get ahead by moving around. But, there may be a few of us that can do that.

I've done quite well by staying on one place. I have lots of vacation time and an old fashioned office with a door that I can close to keep the noise down. Its not trendy but it works for me.



MoonRiver
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26 Jan 2019, 10:29 pm

Welcome to my world. I dumbed my resume down so much, removed all the nationally recognised awards that I have and removed all my decent jobs and just made up a resume consisting of the shittiest jobs I could think of, in order to score a cleaning job. But I lasted 2 days. Not because the work was hard, but because I had to work in close proximity with a guy who was literally a broken record. It got very draining. He was that dumb that it was like babysitting a 5 year old. Moral of the story...always aim for a job at your level where you’re challenged and not bored shitless.



Angnix
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27 Jan 2019, 2:37 pm

Nobody around here will even look at my resume... Nature center jobs, University bird study jobs... All involving birds somehow...


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27 Jan 2019, 4:35 pm

It is very hard to get a pure science job, in which you do stuff just for the purpose of learning about the world around you. There are a few jobs like that, but far too many people chasing those few jobs.



Alita
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29 Jan 2019, 2:56 pm

Yes, I have felt my career was in ruins and that by now I should be a lot further in life than I am. I even had a mentor tell me I'd made a mess of my life. Her reasoning for it was that I didn't know what I wanted.

:? 8O

How are you supposed to figure out that one? It's like trying to remember something you forgot or waking yourself up from a dream.

Sometimes life scares me when I imagine I'll still be nowhere 20 years from now. But then I remember the passion that I have for certain things, like writing, and I just KNOW it will all turn out right.

I never wanted a career anyway. I just wanted to learn, be good at something and inspire people. :idea:

Look at Colonel Sanders. He was an old man before he even started plugging his idea of fried chicken to all and sundry. One could do a lot worse than being as successful as the guy who invented KFC. :P


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