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losingit1973
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14 Jan 2019, 2:30 am

Recently the president of the company where I work informed me that because I am part of management I am not eligible to participate in the employee referral bonus program. The problem is that I am not included in any of the management activities, or association meetings. I recently found out that a couple of employees, one of which I trained and the other is technically under me were invited to an association meeting. This has been bugging me. On one hand I feel that I was only given a title to avoid having to pay overtime, but on the other hand I am glad to not be expected to participate in social events. My manager knows that my boys are on the spectrum and has dropped hints about our similarities. Does he see past my mask? Does he know that social situations are scary and exhausting to me? I have never told him so. I like what I do, but realize that I will not be able to do it forever. This leaves me with two options, advancement or disability. It seems that advancement is closely tied to participation in the industry social events.


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ASPartOfMe
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14 Jan 2019, 3:11 am

I heavily suspect the boss is seeing through your mask.

I am not a labor lawyer but if he is doing what you suspect he is doing although “mean” is probably legal.

Disclosing now COULD open you up to firing based on lying on your resume.

It is not easy to get a disability for an invisable disabilty such as ASD. Something like a stroke is a change in ability. ASD is a lifelong condition so they can claim you were able to earn a living with Autism up until now, you should be still be able to so why should the taxpayers give you benifits. We with the condition know better but those who would judge your case probably do not.

Based on THE VERY LIMITED INFORMATION I have the lesser bad choice may be to just stay at the level you are at. Some companies want their employees to be go getters and advance but while he not be willing to pay you more because of your social skills he might be content to compensate you the current amount for what you do produce and if you are happy with your job as is that is not bad.

I hope it works out for you


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losingit1973
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14 Jan 2019, 11:02 am

I am not worried about getting fired. At the time of my application my understanding of ASD was very limited. It was not until my boys were diagnosed that I began to see some striking similarities. My wife has made the same observations. I have yet to be officially diagnosed, so there is no omission on my resume. Although VERY challenging at times, I would not classify my condition as disabling. The concern of not being able to advance comes from the fact that my job is often physically demanding, and the human body can only take so much. As to whether it is legal of not, I do not know for sure. I have heard of cases where back overtime was awarded where an employer could not demonstrate the employees responsibilities/activities rose to management levels. I am doing alright for now, just have a couple of long term concerns.


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Fnord
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14 Jan 2019, 11:11 am

The legally-recognized forms of discrimination are against: Age, Disability, Genetic Information, National Origin, Pregnancy, Race/Color, Religion, and Sex/Gender.

However if your behavior is "weird" or disruptive, and your employer knows of no valid reason for it, your employment may be terminated at the will of the employer, and without the employer facing any charges of discrimination.

It is up to the person being discriminated against (or the person's lawyer) to make a case of discriminatory practices. Sometimes, the Human Resources department can be made to get involved and investigate, but if their investigation turns up no evidence of discrimination, then you're better off looking for another job.



Knofskia
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14 Jan 2019, 11:31 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Disclosing now COULD open you up to firing based on lying on your resume.


An employee is never required to disclose a disability or other medical information on a resume or otherwise, not unless and until they request accommodation. There are very few exceptions.

Until you disclose, however, you cannot legally prove he is discriminating based on your disability. If you disclose and he fires you, then you can legally prove discrimination.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2019, 11:33 am

^^^That's true.

You don't have to disclose that you have a disability. You can CHOOSE to disclose that you have a disability.



jimmy m
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14 Jan 2019, 11:33 am

I would look at your "happiness level" of where you are in the company. Most Aspies can pick up a trade and become one of the top performers in a company. Many times they are offered upward mobility based on their extreme knowledge and skills. So some land up in supervisory roles. But this takes a different set of skills. Then an employee might move into management. At this point most of the skills that you had that led to your upward mobility are not really needed and an entirely different set of skills are required; people skills. Most of those skills Aspies have major problems with, like personal interaction. They are less technical and more extrovert skills. Therefore many Aspies that have moved onto management roles are not happy in, nor do they excel in.

Not everything in life is about money. Factor in happiness.


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14 Jan 2019, 12:01 pm

These days I see a lot of workers doing physical work right up to retirement age. As well as people getting surgeries instead of compromising their physical activities as people would do in the past.



ASPartOfMe
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14 Jan 2019, 1:05 pm

Human Resources Departments do not exist to benefit the employee, they are paid to benefit the employer. Their unwritten job description is to find a legal way to hire and fire people the employer wants to hire and fire, to find and exploit loopholes in the rules. In a fair world, if you disclose and they immediately fire you, you SHOULD win a discrimination case. Not knowing you were autistic could help you, the date of your diagnosis report being later then your hiring date should be proof. Business is not about fairness, it is about profit.

I have no way of knowing if your employer wants to keep you or not. You probably do not know either. In deciding whether to stay you have to research the market, is there a need for people doing what you do, is your skills transferrable to another line of work? What is the average salary for your what you do, ie is it higher or lower then what you are being paid now? If you decide not to disclose how well can you mask your autism for the interview process?


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kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2019, 1:16 pm

In the USA, there's something called "employment at will." It's an unfortunate thing.

It is a fact that, basically, an employer can fire a person for any reason at all (as long as it's not proven to be "discrimination" based upon various descriptors such as "race," "gender," "age," and quite a few others).

If you're a unionized employee, it is usually not so easy to just fire someone arbitrarily.

In order for you to win a discrimination case, you would have to prove that you were fired because you were autistic or have some other disability.

If you were fired for "a lack of desire to join in group activities," and it can be proven it wasn't because you're autistic or have some other disability, it would, probably, be considered a "good cause" firing.

If I were you, I would start really documenting your encounters with your employers. Record every word. The "words" that the employer utters might provide proof that you were fired for having a disability like autism.



losingit1973
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09 May 2019, 10:59 pm

Today I heard that the president of the company referred to me as a savant. I am told that it was in a positive context, so I will interpret it as an acknowledgement that I am good at what I do.


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jimmy m
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10 May 2019, 9:25 am

losingit1973 wrote:
Today I heard that the president of the company referred to me as a savant. I am told that it was in a positive context, so I will interpret it as an acknowledgement that I am good at what I do.


That would be my interpretation.


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ticklemeemo
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11 May 2019, 1:38 am

In UK law, possibly the same for US law, its not an offense to with hold info. For example, as a a hairdresser, why does my employer need to know I have a Associated Board for the Royal School of Music level 8 in Theory, Piano and Voice? However, I suggest you set a meeting up with your manager and come clean. It all went boobs up in my last job because I wasn't open about it.



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11 May 2019, 5:09 am

losingit1973 wrote:
Does he see past my mask? Does he know that social situations are scary and exhausting to me? I have never told him so.

Ignore this point and don't talk about this stuff to him! It's not as important to him as it is to you. You are totally OK or you wouldn't have your job. But try to change yourself slowly a in any way that improves your self-confidence. Just dress good and talk to other people including your boss always a bit in an open and humorous way once you need to interact with them. This helps to stay in their focus, causes them to like you and reminds them about your importance for the company in a positive way.
Beside of this you should try to improve your ability of reading people. Once you see somebody ask yourself why he acts as he does by imagine yourself being the same way in his shoes. After a while you'll improve with that and you'll learn a lot about how people are.


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