I can't accept her invitation because I am not interested

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Summer_Twilight
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14 Jan 2019, 8:31 am

(I hope this is appropriate) I had recently written about an autistic friend and her mom and feeling that we just are not compatible. So I made it clear to both of them that I am not interested in a relationship with either of them because
my autistic friend is very immature and has no filter and has been known to do and say some pretty rude and mean things that get under my skin. We also don't have anything in common along with being in very different places of our lives at this time. The other reason is that her mom also was putting on a front around me but snubbing me in passive-aggressive ways. I told her I am not interested in maintaining a relationship with her or her mom by telling both of them and blocking her because she kept saying those mean things and calling me excessively. Yet, she kept trying to be persistent

Anyway, I got a phone call from my autistic friend yesterday despite the fact that I blocked her. When I heard her voice, I got off and blocked that number too. I found out from another friend that she tried to invite me to celebrate her birthday. Though it sounds nice, I don't think that inviting me is going to smooth things over because I don't think we are a good pair. Rather, I feel if I went that I would come away more upset.



jimmy m
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14 Jan 2019, 11:19 am

Sometimes being a good friend is one who helps another. Your friend has a need. So do you. But being a good friend can be putting their needs ahead of yours.

Most Aspies find it difficult to find friends. They are not to be wasted.



hurtloam
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14 Jan 2019, 11:26 am

I understand. I have a friend from childhood who I don't keep in close contact with. I'm sure she is on the spectrum.

Unfortunately she can be rude and overly argumentative and kind of unpleasant. Sometimes she's nice though.

I keep her at arms length now. Over the years I learned her behaviour doesn't change and I don't need that toxicity in my life.

You don't have to hold on to people who make you suffer negatively.


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fifasy
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14 Jan 2019, 5:25 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I understand. I have a friend from childhood who I don't keep in close contact with. I'm sure she is on the spectrum.

Unfortunately she can be rude and overly argumentative and kind of unpleasant. Sometimes she's nice though.

I keep her at arms length now. Over the years I learned her behaviour doesn't change and I don't need that toxicity in my life.

You don't have to hold on to people who make you suffer negatively.


If only there were some way of letting people know how their flaws diminished them.



Summer_Twilight
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14 Jan 2019, 5:27 pm

Hurtloam, one of the main reason why I said "No" was because if you may recall from the other posting that she messaged me and told me we need to get together in the New Year as it was December then. I suggested getting together for her birthday and she said that she was going to do things with her neighbors. I then recommended meeting on another time. Yet she kept going on about how I don't know them and would like me to meet them if I didn't talk too much. We had been going back and forth for years and mainly because of her bad temper and the fact that she mouths off all the time.

I also have other friends who have also found her to be difficult as well because there was a time where one of them threw a Superbowl party about 5 years ago. During the halftime show, she became very bossy about who got to sing next to being very rude to everyone else. So she called her mom to pick her up and go home.

She also mouthed off at another friend of mine about how he was banned from the city that she lived in because he did things she didn't like. "You're banned from my city sir," My friend looked at her like she was crazy.

Then the last time I did go to her birthday celebration, she seemed to pick on me about everything
A. She kept letting me know that it was her birthday in a very pouty and immature tone
B. She and another friend went to Facebook her niece and I wanted to meet her and it was "You don't know her so you can't talk to her."