Growing up both homosexual and aspergers?

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Garnettoi71
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14 Jan 2019, 9:12 am

Kind of a confusing experience really, I'd always assumed the reason I was not romantically attracted to men and unable to fall in love with them was because of my aspergers and as a consequence I'd always assumed I was asexual without really realising I was attracted to women. My mother is a very conservative religious type so I guess I just suppressed my sexuality subconsciously for the longest time before actually realising I was gay.

Is anyone else both gay and aspergers? How did you find growing up? When did you realise?



The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Jan 2019, 10:09 am

This topic would be better-suited to the LGBT sub-forum.



Garnettoi71
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14 Jan 2019, 10:31 am

I didn't even know there was one! Thank you for informing me



kraftiekortie
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15 Jan 2019, 6:30 pm

You will find many people on WP who identify with you, and who are gay.



goldfish21
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17 Jan 2019, 2:06 am

Yes.

I found growing up to be my experience growing up.. unique to me, just as everyone else' experience is unique to them.. not really sure what you want to know about that, nor what I could explain about it for you. :?

I realized I was gay when I was 4-5 years old in Kindergarten. Basically as soon as I was around a bunch of other kids my age that weren't family I realized I was attracted to certain boys, not so much girls. I realized I was on the autism spectrum when I was ~30 years old. I was out as gay to a few close friends since high school, but not out as gay to family and others until I was ~29ish after hanging out with one of my gay friends and his gay brother and their family and seeing how different life could be being out. Far less stressful & funnier with the jokes from my siblings. My parents aren't the religious conservative types.. one of my grandmother's was, though, even attending an anti-gay rally in the 90's.. but she changed her tune before she died. (I don't think she knew I was gay, but knew her great grand daughter was gay/bi)


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JD12345
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30 Jan 2019, 4:50 pm

I never really went through the "coming out to thyself" phase that many others do, or at least not to the same extent. Many that's more of a NT thing, I don't know. I was never really confused as to what my sexuality (gay, by the way) was, although I did briefly consider the common tactic of coming out as bisexual first because it seemed more socially acceptable.

I don't tend to trigger others' 'gaydar', although there was one guy at my high school who once randomly asked me whether I was gay, and he didn't seem to be intending it as a joke or banter or whatever.



swordrat32
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18 Feb 2019, 1:44 pm

It took me a long time to figure out I was queer. I wasn't attracted to guys but I also wasn't strongly attracted to women either, and was just super awkward with people generally. Around the end of high school, queer movies and fanfic were definitely windows for me into what I might want/like.

My first sexual experience wasn't great (not traumatic, I just wasn't attracted to her), and I felt really embarrassed afterwords so it took me a long time to try dating again. Instead I had a string of unrequited crushes on mostly straight women who I spent way too much time and energy on.

I was kind of obsessed for years with figuring out whether I was queer or not. Even though intellectually I know sexuality is a spectrum, it felt like a very binary thing to me--queer or not queer! And I didn't feel like I could "really know" I was queer until I'd had a positive experience at least kissing a woman. (Though I also think that was BS.) Eventually, I found speed dating and online dating to be good fits for me because it's clear if the other person is at least sort of interested.