Joined: 7 Jul 2014 Age: 124 Gender: Non-binary Posts: 34,220 Location: Out of my mind
15 Jan 2019, 4:09 pm
It is incredibly soothing. Looking at him and hearing his voice is a stim, I have 2 thousand photos, gifs, videos, interviews, songs, my iPad is having a breakdown over him. I don't love him like a normal fan. Don't want to discuss him or share him with anyone else. He's mine.
Joined: 26 Sep 2018 Gender: Male Posts: 6,115 Location: The US of freakin A <_<
15 Jan 2019, 7:19 pm
Redstar2613 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
At least it's not as bad as it was. I once ran away from home because I thought my sister's boyfriend was hiding cameras in my bedroom to spy on me.
At least you took action
I don't think you understand, I ran away to another town 15 miles away and broke into somebody's house looking for a place to sleep and they came home and saw me and were talking about shooting me.
Joined: 14 Feb 2013 Age: 37 Gender: Male Posts: 363 Location: Australia
15 Jan 2019, 7:24 pm
TW1ZTY wrote:
Redstar2613 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
At least it's not as bad as it was. I once ran away from home because I thought my sister's boyfriend was hiding cameras in my bedroom to spy on me.
At least you took action
I don't think you understand, I ran away to another town 15 miles away and broke into somebody's house looking for a place to sleep and they came home and saw me and were talking about shooting me.
Joined: 26 Sep 2018 Gender: Male Posts: 6,115 Location: The US of freakin A <_<
15 Jan 2019, 7:27 pm
Redstar2613 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
Redstar2613 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
At least it's not as bad as it was. I once ran away from home because I thought my sister's boyfriend was hiding cameras in my bedroom to spy on me.
At least you took action
I don't think you understand, I ran away to another town 15 miles away and broke into somebody's house looking for a place to sleep and they came home and saw me and were talking about shooting me.
Oh. At least they didn't shoot you?
Yeah they called the cops on me and found out there was a missing person's search for me.
Joined: 7 Jul 2014 Age: 124 Gender: Non-binary Posts: 34,220 Location: Out of my mind
15 Jan 2019, 7:31 pm
^ I know it can be really terrifying to think later how crazy something you did was. I still feel like that about stabbing myself, it's a time I completely lost control of myself and it scares me to think what I could have done in that moment. I've also had to be restrained from jumping in front of cars and beating my head, it's like I'm aware I can suddenly snap and there's a constant anxiety about whether you might snap again. Probably not quite the same in your case.
Joined: 3 Sep 2016 Gender: Male Posts: 14,762 Location: UK
15 Jan 2019, 7:39 pm
Raleigh wrote:
I've also had to be restrained from jumping in front of cars and beating my head, it's like I'm aware I can suddenly snap and there's a constant anxiety about whether you might snap again.
Why are you like this? Do you know? Is it ASD or summit else. It sounds awfully familiar.
_________________ R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
Joined: 5 Jan 2010 Age: 50 Gender: Female Posts: 11,896 Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
15 Jan 2019, 7:41 pm
When I was in my early teens I started having so many strange and scary thoughts and ideas that I knew weren't true but I couldn't stop having them. I guess it's understandable that I ended up being diagnosed with a form of schizophrenia, but when I look back on it it feels more like they were intrusive thoughts caused by OCD.
I once thought that I had diabetes and was wetting the bed at night even though the sheets were perfectly dry whenever I checked them and I had no symptoms similar to diabetes. I had read about a kid who developed diabetes had suddenly started wetting his bed when he normally didn't and it unnerved me.
I thought that everything I ate and drank was poisoned. I had read about botulism poisoning and it scared me really badly. I almost drove my parents crazy.
I had trouble drawing my cartoons for a certain time because I kept having thoughts of them doing things I found creepy or disgusting like swearing or graphically doing bodily functions. This was years before South Park ever came out and I strongly believed in keeping my cartoons at a "G" rating.
But probably worst of all was that I kept having thoughts that my dolls and stuffed animals were alive and they were actually watching me getting dressed in front of them, and that they could read my mind, especially when I had "dirty" thoughts or was reading about sexual stuff at school.
All these thoughts lasted for a couple of years or so, and then left as mysteriously as the came. Maybe because I finally worked up the nerve to actually talk about them even though I was really afraid people would think was insane or just plain stupid. I don't usually even talk to people about this story because I'm still afraid they'll lock me up and heavily medicate me. WP is one of the few places where I do feel safe to talk about it.
Joined: 26 Aug 2010 Age: 69 Gender: Male Posts: 34,127 Location: temperate zone
15 Jan 2019, 7:46 pm
Raleigh wrote:
It is incredibly soothing. Looking at him and hearing his voice is a stim, I have 2 thousand photos, gifs, videos, interviews, songs, my iPad is having a breakdown over him. I don't love him like a normal fan. Don't want to discuss him or share him with anyone else. He's mine.
Yes. That's the guy in your avatar. The lead guy in a rock band (forget his and his band's name, but you have told it before).
Didn't realize that your obsession went as far as you're talking about now.