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Crimadella
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20 Feb 2019, 9:42 pm

Bradleigh wrote:
Crimadella wrote:
It still does not determine gender(Edit: Sex) though. Females are able to be fertilized and give birth to a human baby. Most importantly, you can pump a male full of any chemical you desire and it will not cause them to loose their Y chromosome.


You start to go down a very slippery slope if you start trying to define strictly by some of these biological things. If you go by the fertilization thing, then you are pretty much saying every woman who can't give birth is now a man, like those that go through menopause, or really someone who for all intents or purposes has been female their entire life, but just seems unable to give birth. These women often can have it bad enough already before they start being told they fail some test that makes them a woman. And even chromosomes really are not a 100% to body parts.



I have learned a lot since I posted that. I hate all this 'slippery slope' talk. If people can't talk about things, how can we learn from each-other? I've been constantly labeled as trans phobic for having curiosity and concern, funny how so many consider that as 'trans phobic'. I've even been warned yet as far as I can tell I haven't said one single thing to discriminate against trans people.

Apparently I'm not able to speak on anything related to this. But I will point one thing out to give you an understanding of what I have learned. You are correct on abnormalities but when scientists describe a species they don't describe the species abnormalities to define the species. Example, human can be born with extra arms, when you look up what a human is, it does not describe humans as having 2 to 3 arms. Frogs can have 7 legs in some cases, scientists describe a frog as having 4 legs.

I wonder if that will be considered trans-phobic? Who knows??



ZackMichel
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04 Mar 2019, 11:48 am

Bradleigh wrote:
That sounds a little like I never was aware of such things like a feminine side. It is not like I have been a toxic masculinity person my whole life, as contrast I have always been the less act manly than my brother, where I would often get annoyed that it be expected the boys have to do the manual labour. This doesn't entirely feel like just acknowledgment of just more feminine side.

I would say that it has been some years that I was quick to show some approval for the sliding scale of gender, that a man could have some feminie traits, and a woman some masculine traits, you might have a bit of what is associated with the other, but still can as a whole be put in one. So I should have mostly be unconfused if that is just what this is, but this feels really confusing. Like that should feel like the simple answer, and should supply some other simple answers that there really isn't anything me to change. I don't know exact fractions, but it kind of feels like I have been ignoring maybe a quarter of who I am. Maybe that is just a dah, that is just a man becoming aware of their feminine side is. But would that mean I was lying up till now?

I suppose that I am hoping for something that will feel satisfying, of which there is probably nothing. Is it normal for a male to feel like if the parts of his personality were broken up into people that represented those parts, that some of those feel like they would be female, like it would come from some alternate reality where their gender would be flipped?


So, I came out as transgender FTM about 8 years ago. I began transitioning by taking testosterone and socially identifying as male. Right now, I am in an in-between state where I feel less dysphoria and actually feel more accepting of my body (having had no FTM surgeries). It is like a fraction of me is still female, a fraction is male, and maybe the rest is nothing and I'm okay with it. I identify as agender now and go by they/them pronouns at home and in social circles. At work, however, I still go by he/him but it doesn't bother me.

I guess I am relating to what you are saying. There is a thing on the gender spectrum where you can have a specific gender (i.e., male, female, agender, bigender, transgender, whatever) but feel it is leaning towards one way or the other on the gender binary (for example, being a transfeminine male, or a transmasculine agender person [my identity]). There is also a thing called 'autigender,' but some people don't like it because they say that autism invalidates trans-ness since it is a 'disability' (bullcrap). I don't think that autism invalidates trans-ness, I think it supplements the definition of trans-ness for some people. I identify as autigender, too (my autism has influenced how I experience gender and that is different from neurotypical transgender people).

Another thing: feeling like there are parts of yourself reminds me of Internal Family Systems (IFS) style of therapy. It says that there are multiple parts within each person that interact in a way to try to keep the person safe. These parts might inspire coping behaviours or might be parts of identity. I'm not an expert, but I think IFS is pretty cool. Maybe it has nothing to do with what you're talking about, but it's a good way to explore why you are responding to certain stimuli in a particular way, and what parts of yourself are contributing to resulting emotions and behaviours.


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mmmok
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07 Mar 2019, 6:22 am

I have been out as trans for almost three years and i went through a long and confusing questioning process. for me, discovering my gender was a matter of trying them on and seeing what fit and what didnt. It's a matter of finding out what makes you most comfortable.

What I would suggest, based on my experience, is to find someone you trust and ask them to refer to you by different pronouns or name, or even before that: try googling "the pronoun dressing room" (I got notified to say that I cant put URLs as a new user)

also, feel free to pm me.


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DanielW
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07 Mar 2019, 7:54 am

BTDT wrote:
Slippery slope indeed. Is there anyone on this forum who has been conclusively determined to have autism by a biological test? If the government decides that biological testing is necessary for SSDI benefits due to autism, won't that impact a lot of people here?


There is no biological test for autism for the government to require. I doubt there will be in my lifetime. Autism itself isn't necessarily disabling enough to qualify for disability in any case. Usually its a co-morbid condition that qualifies someone.



Bradleigh
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18 Sep 2019, 6:03 am

So, I came back to this subject, since it has been coming to mind again, and I have been looking up more experiences of people who transitioned or have some understanding of the different genders. I am not any more sure about specific labels, but time has brought more concrete thoughts and such, feeling more confident that I am normal.

I remembered facts like that I was really happy to learn that my name can be both a male and female name. I remembered that something about the Bowsette craze, and how something about gender change things always seem to draw my attention. I know about feeling happy with my nails called pretty. And how there is some sick feeling in my stomach when I am told things like "you are just a boy", even feeling that with the idea of being called "cis man". I know that I have often felt an oddly comforting mental image of myself being more feminine. An anger I felt towards my sister girly singing was jealousy. And I understand that these were things I naturally drifted to without any pressures.

I think that I am Non Binary, or some level of gender fluid. The label used to always confuse me, and I thought that I could not possibly be that because dressing in a gender confusing way feels like something I would not do, and I am pretty sure I have not felt dysphoria for being seen manly with a beard. But apparently people don't even need to feel dysphoria to feel like they belong outside of the gender they were assigned, and as much as I understand the concept and how familiar I am with the idea as crossdressers seen as weird, something I was otherwise coming to terms with as transgender being the one they identify as. I think that in such a situation that I was able to be a "pretty" girl, I would enjoy and find it affirming, but I would still enjoy presenting as a "cool" man for the same reason.

Kind of feels like cheating by saying this, while still wanting to be called he, being comfortable with a number of masculine elements. Don't know what I even want, like whether someone thinking that I expect special treatment given to both genders, but I think that I should just be happy with identifying some sort of fluidity that used to make me feel uncomfortable when certain topics came up. Pretty sure I don't want to be seen as any lesser, so not going to mix clothes like I am looking for attention to be special, or try to pass off as girl while being called out as a dude. But would be happy if I could like some sort of reverse Zelda/Shiek it.

Barring whether all guys feel this way and I just missed the memo.


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